No one Leaves: A Jax and Brenda Fic
by ladyluck538
Summary: This picks up after Jax refuses to marry Brenda, because she kissed Sonny...
1. Chapter 1

**No One Leaves …..."He said no."**

Brenda leaned back in the seat. Her eyes swollen from crying. She put on a pair of glasses, in order to hide the swelling. Everything was supposed to work out this time. This time she was supposed to have it all. Her white knight was supposed to finally rescue her, and give her the life she always wanted. But he didn't. He said, no. And with that word, he broke her heart. Yes, she had kissed Sonny, but it was not because she wanted or loved him. That ship had sailed a long time ago. The pain that she felt was unbearable, but the anger she felt was surpassing that. He treated her like a common prostitute, something she'd never thought he would do. Her eyes darkened. She might be hurting now, but he'd hurt later...

**_*Eight years later*_**

Brenda stretched and looked over at the clock. She was so tired, it had been a busy week, and she was so happy that the weekend was finally here. And to top it off, she didn't have anything to do, well work related anyway. She didn't work as much as she use to. She was only modeling part time now, and the couple of contracts she had, provided more than enough income. The majority of her time, was spent working with a charity called ASEC. It was a charity that was near and dear to her heart. It helped give aide, to needy children around the world. And it was a cause, that she was extremely passionate about.

Brenda finally managed to pull herself out of bed, and head to the kitchen. She put on a pot of coffee. She placed a couple of pieces of bacon in the oven. She sat down, and opened her laptop. She pulled up her homepage. She read through the various news articles. She clicked on the business section, and saw a picture of Jax looking back at her. It had been years since she'd seen him. She looked at the words, successful businessman Jasper Jax, recently divorced, has lost his only child, a girl, who died of pneumonia. Brenda closed the computer. (He must be devastated. Robin called, but she forgot to call her back. She is almost positive that's what she wanted.) She sat there for a moment, and then she smelled the bacon burning. She jumped up, and went over to the stove. After she finished cooking, she walked over to the second bedroom in her apt. She opened the door, and went inside. She picked up a couple of things, and placed them on the back of a chair. She walked over to the bed and looked down.

"Ok sleepy head, time for breakfast." Blue eyes look up at her, then quickly duck up under the covers.

Brenda reached down and started tickling her. She heard giggles, coming from underneath. She pulled the covers back, bent down, and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Good morning, go wash your face, your breakfast is getting cold."

Brenda watched as she jumped out of bed, and ran into the bathroom. Brenda headed back into the kitchen, and sat down at the table. A couple of minutes later, she looked up and saw her entering.

"Oooh pancakes, my favorite."

"I know."

"Thanks mamma."

"You're welcome sweetheart." Brenda looked across the table, at her beautiful daughter. She was seven years old, and spoke with a thick Italian accent. She had the most beautiful ocean blue eyes. Eyes she inherited from her father. The one thing that was really different about her, was her auburn hair. Brenda had no idea where that came from. Her father had blonde hair, and she had dark hair. Nevertheless, it worked to her advantage. Everyone thought she was adopted, but she was her natural born child. A child she named Lola, after one of her best friends Lois. She gave birth to her in South Africa. It's around that time, that she learned about ASEC. She didn't tell anyone that she was pregnant, not a soul. She was adamant that her father never found out. He broke her heart, and then stumped on it. And she figured, that she was just returning the favor. She did feel sorry that he lost his child, but she wouldn't under no circumstances contact him. It was just too risky. There were moments, when she wanted to call and tell him, but as the years rolled by, she knew he would resent her. And knowing Jax, he would try and take her, and she'd never let that happen.

Brenda picked up her coffee cup, and walked into the living room. She stood in front of the wall size window, and looked down at the street below. She started thinking about, the time she found out she was pregnant, she was so happy. She found out a couple of weeks before the wedding. She knew Jax would be the perfect father. She decided to wait until their wedding night to tell him. It was supposed to be her wedding gift to him, but she never got the chance. And now he has lost his child, her heart went out to him. She would send flowers to the service. It was the right thing to do. She couldn't imagine what he must be going through. Lola meant everything to her, and she would be devastated if anything ever happened to her.

"Ok Mamma, I'm done. I have to get ready for my violin lesson. Mamma!"

Brenda jumped and turned to see Lola standing there. "I have my…violin lesson…..remember?"

"Yes, sweetheart, I'm sorry. Let's get dressed…."

**_A couple of months later_**

Jax signed his name, and pushed the papers across the table. Carly smiled. "Thanks."

"I didn't do it for you. I want to sever any and all ties to Port Charles, that's why I sold you my half of the Metrocourt. That's the only reason."

"Well, whatever the reason, thanks for not selling it to someone else."

Jax closed his briefcase, shook hands with both lawyers, and headed out of the door. Carly got up and followed him.

"Jax!"

He turned.

"What am I going to tell Morgan?"

Jax shrugged. "Honestly, I doubt if he'll even care. He never got over me, trying to get custody of Josslyn. Our relationship was never the same after that.' Jax looked down, then back up. "Look, he'll be fine." He turned and headed toward the elevator, with Carly still following.

"I wish...you would stay."

Jax turned and looked at her. "Why? There is nothing here for me. All that left with Josslyn."

"I'm...still here."

"And so is Sonny...and Jason."

"I still love you." She grabbed his hand. "We could try...again. If you want?"

Jax pulled his hand away, shook his head, and pressed the elevator button. "I don't think so. Look Carly, I'll always care for you, but I don't love you anymore. Josslyn was the only reason, I stayed as long as I did." Josslyn's death had turned him cold.

The elevator door opened. He got on. "Take care." And the doors closed...

Jax leaned back in the seat of his private jet. He had left Port Charles for good. It was time, there was nothing left for him there. He pulled out his phone, and looked through the various pictures of Josslyn. She was his world. He loved her more than anything. He was devastated when she passed away. He was still grieving for her, he would always grieve for her. He put his phone in his pocket, and sighed.

After Josslyn's death, he decided, the best thing for him, was to just throw himself into his work. He was actually on his way to France. He had a couple of business propositions there. He was also going to be attending a charity benefit. It was a benefit for needy kids. He had heard about an organization, that was doing wonderful things, for children all around the world. He decided that while he was in France, he would attend one of their events. He felt that in honor of his daughter, he needed to devote more time to charity. He spent most all of his life, making money, and spending it lavishly. He wanted and needed to give back, in honor of her memory. And not just with his money, because he had always given to charity, but with his time too…...

Brenda looked out of the car window. She always loved coming to Paris. It was one of the most beautiful cities, she'd ever had the pleasure of visiting. It seemed like every time she visited, she was working. This time, she would be attending a huge charity event, but she was determined, to see at least a couple of landmarks, before she left.

She looked over at Lola, who had nodded off. (I guess Paris didn't interest her.) Brenda looked over at Lola's nanny, and they both laughed. Because Brenda traveled so much, she had to employ a nanny. She had been with them since Lola was a baby. She didn't live with them, but whenever Brenda needed her, she was there. Her name was Mona, and she loved Lola like she was her own. Mona was a widow, and her children were all adults. She had become like family to Brenda.

"Well, we're here." They pulled up to the hotel. It was located in the middle of the city. They exited the car and went inside.

Lola was tired from the trip, so Brenda put her to bed. Brenda quickly showered and changed. She was almost late for the luncheon.

"How do I look?"

Mona looked her over, and walked over and adjusted her shirt. "You look good."

She looked in the mirror, one final time, and turned to Mona. "Wish me luck."

Mona smiled. "God bless you, and get that money."

Brenda grinned. They hug. "You have my number, call me if you need me."

"We'll be fine."

"I'm off." Brenda grabbed her briefcase and left….

Brenda finally arrived at the ASEC function, and she was so excited, because there was a huge turnout. These types of fundraisers were essential to their success, because they normally brought in a lot funds, for the organization. She spotted one of the guys she worked with at ASEC. He was one of her best friends. He was talking to a couple of other people.

She walked up to him "Mickal, hello."

He turned and smiled. "Brenda, hello." They hug. He excused himself, and they walk out of earshot.

"Girl, those shoes are fierce."

"Yours aren't too bad either."

Mickal smiled and looked down. "I know right."

Brenda giggled. Mickal was a makeup artist. He had a passion for helping children too, because he grew up in a third world country. It was through the help of an organization like ASEC, that he was able to become successful. He was able to go to school, and earn a degree. It meant the world to him to give back. Mickal was also incredibly good looking, but he was not interested in her, or any other woman. He was only interested in men, because he was good and gay. Brenda looked around the room. "Look at this turnout."

Mickal smiled. "I know, I'm so excited." They noticed that people were, starting to take their seats. "Looks like this luncheon is about to start."

Brenda and Mickal head to the their seats, which was in the front on the stage.

After taking her seat, Brenda quickly went over her notes. She would be speaking, along with a number of other ASEC representatives. She was not at all nervous, she had done this a million times….

Jax walked into the charity function. It was extremely crowded. He was taken to his table. He knew a couple of the people who were already seated. They exchanged pleasantries. He looked down at the material, and went over it. There were people on the stage, given heartfelt speeches about the charity. One of Jax's colleagues arrived, and sat down next to him. They were in the middle of a conversation, when he heard what he thought, was Brenda's name. He looked around, but he didn't see her. He blew it off, and continued the conversation. All of a sudden, he heard a very familiar voice. He looked up, and saw her, standing at the podium. It had been eight years since he laid eyes on her. It had been a long time since, he allowed himself to even think about her. One thing he noticed instantly, is that she was still as beautiful as ever. But there was something different about her. He could tell, just by looking into her eyes.

His colleague leaned over. "What a beauty."

Jax looked over at him briefly. "Yes." His eyes went back to her. All the times they shared, flashed before him, like a slide show. He had filed away all those memories, but with one glimpse, they were back front and center…

Brenda smiled, and then she concluded her speech. "Thank You." She stepped away from the podium, and waived as everyone clapped. She went back to her seat on the stage, and sat down. Mickal hugged her, and she grabbed his hand. "I have a feeling, we are going to get a lot of donations." Brenda looked down at the material in her hand, then up and out at the crowd. That's when she saw him, and he was looking directly at her. She quickly looked away. Her heart started beating extremely fast, she felt like she was about to pass out. She excused herself, and exited the stage, walking briskly out of the conference room. Jax got up and followed her…..

Brenda leaned against the sink in the bathroom. (Jax…..in France?) Before she could stop herself, the tears came. It had been eight long years, but the pain was still there, just as fresh, as if it happened yesterday. She wish she could make a quick exit, but she couldn't. She wouldn't let the children down, not over a little broken heart. She looked in the mirror, but it wasn't just a little broken heart, it was the worse one of her life, because she didn't see that one coming. He was supposed to be the one person, that she could trust to take care of her heart, and that's why it hurt the most…..….…..

Twenty minutes had passed, and Brenda was still in the bathroom. She knew she couldn't stay in the bathroom forever. She had to pull it together. She cleaned her face, and freshened up her makeup. She walked out of the bathroom, and rounded the corner. Just outside the conference room, stood Jax….


	2. He's Jasper Jax

**No One Leaves…..."He's Jasper Jax"**

Brenda still couldn't believe Jax was standing right there. She wanted to turn around, and walk in the opposite direction. But she wouldn't, and could not do that. She couldn't run from her past, she had to face it head on. She walked up to him.

"Hello, Jax."

"Hello, Brenda."

Brenda couldn't even look at him, and he noticed it right away. "You look good, Brenda."

Brenda's eyes dart up, and away. "You too."

"Thanks, for the flowers."

She looked into his eyes, for the first time in years. "I am really sorry about your daughter."

"Thanks."

*silence* "Well, I have to get back."

Brenda was about to walk off, when Jax grabbed her by the arm. "Is there a way I can reach you?"

Brenda looked down, at his hand on her arm. "For what?"

Jax released it. "I feel like, we should talk."

"I don't. You said everything you had to say eight years ago, and I heard you very loud and clear. And it's been eight years, you've moved on, and so have I."

"I don't think we really have. You are still angry with me. And please don't say you're not...you can hardly look at me."

"Am I supposed to be happy to see you?"

"I'm happy to see you. Glad to see you're doing well."

"Well, I don't feel the same way. I actually never wanted to lay eyes on you again."

"It's been eight years, Brenda."

"In my opinion, that isn't long enough."

"Really?"

"Yes really, Jasper."

"Jasper?"

At that moment Mickal appeared. "Excuse me, Brenda we were looking for you."

"I'm sorry, I got a little sidetracked." She looked up at Jax briefly, then back over at Mickal. "We're done, let's go back inside." Mickal opened the door, and they disappeared inside. They are on their way back to the stage.

Mickal looked over at Brenda. "That looked intense. Who was that?"

"Somebody I use to know."

"Maybe you should get reacquainted, he is gorgeous."

"I'll pass."

"He looks familiar."

"He's Jasper Jax."

"The wealthy businessman, riiight….now I remember. You should be nice to him, he could help this charity a lot. And not just with his donations, but his friends' donations too."

"You can be nice to him, I don't want anything to do with him."

"Why? Did he wrong you?"

"He did more than wrong me, He left me at the altar."

Mickal looked over at her. "What?"

"Let me rephrase that, he didn't leave me, he said no."

"Brenda, that must have been devastating? You never mentioned that."

"Because I was trying to forget it. I don't want to talk about it anymore, ok?"

"Ok, and I won't mention it again."

"Thanks."

They finally reached their destination, and was greeted by other ASEC representatives. The luncheon lasted for another two hours. Jax was still there, but Brenda stayed clear of him. They received quite a few donations. They still had not reached their goal, but they had another event, the auction that night.

Brenda managed to stay busy. She caught Jax looking at her a couple of times. Eventually he left, and then she was able to relax. They wrapped up everything, and headed back to their hotels to rest.

Brenda made it back to the hotel. Lola ran over and showed her some things, Mona had bought for her.

"Their gorgeous sweetheart."

Lola ran over to the mirror, and stared at the necklace, around her neck.

Mona and Brenda looked at her for a moment, and then Mona asked Brenda about the luncheon. Brenda told her all about it, leaving the part out about Jax.

"We have an auction tonight, and then we leave tomorrow. I'm anxious to get back."

"You're anxious to get back? That's a first, especially since we are in Paris. The city of love."

"I'm just not feeling it this time." *knock at the door* Brenda stood up, walked over to the door, and opened it.

"Brenda, I'm sorry I just showed up, but I think we should talk."

Brenda was shocked to see Jax standing in front of her. She quickly stepped out into the hall, and closed the door. "You just can't show up like this. How did you find me? Never mind, I know how you found me. Money talks right?"

"I didn't pay anyone. You did tell me once, this was your favorite hotel in Paris."

"How did you get my room number?"

"It doesn't matter. Look I just would like the opportunity to talk things out."

"Why? There is nothing to talk about."

"We have a lot to talk about."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you. And I have to go. I have things I have to do."

"Brenda we will talk."

"No Jax we won't. Now would you please leave."

"Ok." He looked at her for a moment, and walked to the elevator. She waited until he got on, before opening the door.

Mona walked out of Lola's room. "Who was that?"

"Just ASEC business."

"Are you sure? All the color is gone out of your face."

"I'm fine, just a little tired."

Lola came out of the bedroom. Brenda smiled. "You look so cuuute."

"Mona's taking me out."

"Is she?" Brenda looked over at Mona. "Where are you two going?"

"Site seeing. We are in Paris, and we plan on enjoying it, even if you can't."

Brenda called Lola over, and adjusted her ponytail. "You look so pretty sweetheart."

"Thanks Mamma."

A couple of minutes later, Mona and Lola were gone. Brenda decided to take a nap, before getting ready for the auction. She had a hard time going to sleep. Jax and Lola in the same city, she wanted to leave Paris right then and there. And if it were up to her, Lola would not have left the hotel room. But no one knew that Lola was Brenda's, and she couldn't start acting weird now. She'd be going back to Rome tomorrow, and that would be the end of Jax...

Jax was still in the lobby of the hotel. He had just hung up, from an important phone call. He was on his way out, when he noticed a little girl had dropped her necklace.

"Excuse me, I think you dropped something."

The lady and the little girl stopped, and turned around. Jax handed it to her, and they both said thank you.

"You're welcome."

They smiled and headed out of the door. Jax's eyes followed the little girl. He sighed. He wondered what his own daughter, would have looked like at that age. He missed her so much...

**Part 2**

The auction was a black tie event. Brenda wore a floor length, black evening gown. Almost everyone who was at the luncheon was there. There was actually even more people at this event, than the first one. There were so many wonderful things, that had been donated. Armed guards were on the scene, because of how expensive some of the things were.

Brenda was auctioning off a date. She actually got talked into it. She didn't really feel comfortable with the whole idea, but if it helped the children, she could sit through dinner.

"Mickal, I will only meet them in a public place. Yes, these are respected people, but respectable people can be crazy too."

Mickal laughed.

There was plenty of drinking, and mingling before the auction. Brenda met some really fascinating, and passionate people. Brenda didn't want to stand on stage and be bided on, so they did a silent auction. The highest bidder would win. The auction went on without a hitch. They raised a lot of money, surpassing all of their expectations. Brenda was talking to Mickal, when one of the other ASEC representatives walked over to them.

"Brenda, you will not believe this."

"What?"

"Someone bid a cool million, to get a date with you."

Mickal yelled. "Oh my God!"

Brenda immediately knew who it was. She looked around the room, but she didn't see him.

Mickal grabbed and hugged her, he could hardly contain his excited. "Brenda! That is wonderful! Do you have any idea, how many children we can help?"

That's when Brenda realized what mattered. Regardless where the money came from, the children was the most important thing. She smiled, and hugged them both...

Brenda walked through the crowd, and she finally spotted Jax, talking to a group of people. She walked over, and stood by him. He looked over, and then excused himself.

"I take it you know, about the bid?"

"Yes. And I was really angry. Have you forgotten, that's the same amount you offered me, to leave Port Charles? Jax you are really insensitive."

"No, I haven't forgotten. That's one of the reasons I decided to donate it to charity."

"Well, at least something good is being done with the money. And I guess now, I have to talk to you."

Jax took a sip of champagne. "No Brenda, you do not. I'm not holding you to a date. Just take the money, and help a lot of children with it."

"We will. Thanks for the donation, on behalf of the kids. Regardless of how I feel about you, and your money, it is still a blessing to those kids."

Jax turned to her. "How long are you going to hate me?"

"Until I take my last breath. You made me feel really small Jax, or don't you get that?"

"I'm sorry, I really am, but you have to take some of the blame too."

"I didn't deserve what you did to me."

"And I didn't deserve what you did to me."

She glared at him. "What did I do to you?"

Jax notices that people are looking over at them, so he grabbed her arm, and they leave, and go into another room. Jax locked the door.

Brenda continues. "What did I ever do to you?"

"You kissed Sonny, or haven't you forgotten?"

"So what? It meant nothing! He thought I died, and there were was some confusion, but we realized we didn't love each other anymore. We loved the people we were with."

"And you needed to kiss, in order to figure that out?"

"It meant nothing!"

"I've heard that before."

"Why did you let me walk down that isle, when you had no intentions of marrying me?"

"I had every intentions of marrying you, because despite everything, I still loved you."

Brenda looked into his eyes. "Well, why didn't you Jax?"

"Because, have you forgotten about, the first time you left me for Sonny?"

"No, and that was a mistake."

"I couldn't take that chance, and have you do it again."

Tears spilled onto her face. "Nobody was suppose to leave."

"I didn't leave, you left when you kissed Sonny. And I regret offering you that money, but I was so angry with you. I wanted to hurt you, like you hurt me."

Brenda wiped her tears away. "Well, you definitely did that."

"Brenda, I didn't take any joy in that. I was so frustrated with the whole situation. I loved you more than anyone, and anything on this planet, but you didn't feel the same way."

"Jax, I loved you too."

"Yes, you might have loved me. But not more than anyone else."

"That's not true."

"It's how I felt."

"Why couldn't you tell me before the wedding?"

"Because I was going to marry you, but all I could think about, was you kissing Sonny. And when the question was asked, I couldn't in good faith say yes."

"But Jax, you knew what I went through with Sonny, and how broken I was. And you would do it too?

"I showed up."

Brenda started clapping. "Well aren't you a gentleman."

"Look, I am sorry you had to go through that again. I really am. But Brenda, you can't honestly blame me for backing out."

Brenda sighed. "I just wish you would have told me before the ceremony."

"And I wish you would have never kissed Sonny." They locked eyes for a moment. Jax continued. "How can we get passed this?"

"I don't know if I want to. We have been out of each other's life for a very long time. If isn't broken, why fix it?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." But it was broken, and it has been, ever since she left Port Charles. *silence* "Are you still modeling?"

Brenda shook her head. "Occasionally."

"Are you dating anyone?"

"Not, seriously."

"No one in the last eight years?"

Brenda laughed and rolled her eyes. "I'm not dead Jax."

"I can see that."

"And you married Carly, how in the hell, did that happen?"

"People fall in love."

"And apparently out of it too."

He laughed. "The best thing that came out of that unfortunate union, was…Josslyn."

Brenda could see the hurt in his eyes, as soon as he said her name. "I bet she was so precious, and I know you spoiled her too."

Jax smiled. "She was my little precious angel…..and I miss her."

"I am sorry Jax."

"Me too."

Jax sighed. "There is nothing that surpasses the love for your child."

"I know."

Jax looked at her. "You know?"

(Damn it Brenda. Hell, might as well tell him, before he finds out, and wonders why you didn't tell him.) "Yes, I have a child Jax."

"You have a baby?"

"No, she's not a baby, she's seven. She's my adopted daughter."

"What? Wow."

"Well, I always wanted a family. And since I had no luck in the love department, I decided to adopt, and it is the best decision I've ever made."

"How long have you had her?"

"Since she was a baby."

"So you are a mom? Congratulations."

She smiled, but her heart was racing. "Thanks."

"I would love to meet her…sometime."

"Yeah, maybe one day. Well, we should get back."

He nodded. "Yeah."

Jax walked over to the door. At the moment Brenda felt really bad, about lying. She needed to tell him the truth.

"Jax."

He turned. "Yeah."

"I um…think...we should go on that date. You did pay for it." She chickened out.

"We don't have to, I told you that."

"No, we should." (Oh sh*t, Brenda, shut up.)

"Ok, maybe I'll come to Rome."

She smiled. "Ok."

"Brenda, I really hope we can move forward, and become friends."

"Me too." They walked out of the room, but all Brenda could think about, was why in the hell, did she tell Jax it was ok to come to Rome…...


	3. I'm Human

**No one Leaves….."...I'm Human."**

Brenda had been home for over a month now. She hoped and prayed that Jax didn't call. She had given him her phone number at the auction. And up until that day, he had not used it. She was getting Lola ready for school, when her phone rung. She didn't recognize the number, so she ignored it. After taking Lola to school, she made herself a cup of coffee, and sat down at her laptop. She looked down at her cell phone, and saw the message light flashing. She reached down, and pressed the voice mail button. That's when she heard his voice. "Hello, Brenda, this is Jax. I'll be in Rome next week. I think it's time, we make good on that date. This is my number, call me, and let me know if you'll be free. Take care."

Brenda felt her heart drop. "Damn it!" (I could always pretend like, I'll be out of town, or busy. But knowing Jax, he'll just offer to reschedule.) She sighed. (I could meet him, and he'd never have to see Lola.) "Damn it, Brenda." And on top of all this, Brenda was still really upset with Jax, she just had a moment, when he was talking about his daughter, and she made the dumbest mistake ever. She invited him to Rome. She sighed. She'd figure a way out of this mess.

After twenty minutes of wrestling with a couple of ideas, she decided to just go on a date with him, and then let that be the end of it.

She dialed his number…...

Brenda opened the door. "Hello Mona. Lola is already in bed."

Mona followed Brenda in. "Your hair looks beautiful."

"Thanks, but I just want to get this over with."

"Do you even know this guy?"

"Kind of."

"He isn't a creep is he?"

Brenda grinned, as she walked to her bedroom, with Mona following. "He has his moments."

"Well, you can take my knife with you."

Brenda laughed. "I don't need your knife. He's not that type of a creep."

"Where are you two going?"

"I don't know. I just want to get this over with." Brenda took off her robe, and stepped into her skirt, and then pulled on her shirt. Mona helped her tuck in her shirt. She wore a pencil skirt, with a black matching shirt. The skirt hugged every curve. She threw on some platform heels, and some blood red lipstick. Mona looked her over. "Brenda you look beautiful. Classic elegance."

"Thanks, but I just want to get this over with."

"You keep saying that. If you don't want to do it, don't."

"No, I said I would, so I am."

"Are you meeting him?"

"He's picking me up."

"Why? You hardly know him. That's not smart Brenda."

Brenda looked at Mona, she hated lying to her. And she really didn't want Jax to pick her up, but he kept insisting. At least Lola was in bed. "I know him Mona. He's from my past, and I don't want to talk about it….ok."

Mona could tell that it was more to the story, but she would respect her wishes. "Ok."

*Doorbell* Brenda took a deep breath, and said a prayer. Mona had never seen Brenda, so nervous. She touched her shoulder. "Brenda, are you sure you're ok?"

"I am, just get the door please. I don't want Lola to wake up. I just need a moment."

"Ok." Mona left, and went and opened the door.

Jax turned around and smiled. "Hello."

"Hello. Come in. I'm Mona, Brenda is on her way."

Jax followed her in, closing the door behind him. He looked around. Her apt. reminded him, of the cottage that Brenda had in Port Charles…in the way that it was decorated. Mona motioned for him to have a seat. He did.

He looked over at Mona. "Do we know each other?"

Mona shook her head. "I don't think so, but you do look familiar."

"You do too."

"Where are you taking her?"

At that moment Brenda walked in. "Mona, stop giving him a hard time."

"I'm not giving him a hard time, I was just curious."

Jax stood up, when he saw Brenda entering. She looked stunning. "Hello."

"Hello, Jax."

Brenda grabbed her clutch. "I won't be long."

"Ok."

Jax turned to Mona. "Nice meeting you."

"You too. Take care of my Brenda."

"I will."

They leave. Mona walked over and locked the door. "What a handsome devil….."

Brenda and Jax are in the back of a limo, on their way to some unknown destination. She should have been able to relax, but she couldn't. There was still a lot of tension, between the two of them. She was still very angry with him. She was so worried about him running into Lola, she totally forgot about the evening, that they would be spending together.

Jax looked over at her. "Relax Brenda."

She looked at him briefly, then back out of the window. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"Jax, this is supposed to be a simple dinner date."

"I don't do simple dinner dates."

"Nothing has changed Jax. I am still upset with you."

"I know, I can see it in your eyes."

She continued looking out of the window. They ride the rest of the way in silence.

They pulled up to the opera house. The driver got out and opened the door for Jax. He walked around, and opened Brenda's door. He offered his hand, but she didn't take it. "I'm fine, thanks."

They walked in, and Brenda quickly noticed that there was no one else around, besides the people who worked there. She looked over at Jax. "Where is everybody?"

"We are everybody."

Brenda sighed. "Jax, what is this? Is this your way of trying, to make me remember how we use to be?"

"Yes."

"I don't want to remember how it use to be. Jax, this was supposed to be a simple dinner date. An obligation for charity. Not a real date."

"Brenda, it's not a real date. I just wanted to do something nice for you. I don't expect either one of us, to ever forget what happened. This is just an attempt, at remembering one of the many good times we had. That's all. We may not ever see each other again after tonight. Let's make the most of it." He looked down at her. "Ok."

"Ok, whatever Jax."

They were taken to their seats. Brenda looked over at him, as the lights dimmed. "No dinner on the stage this time?"

"No. We're being treated to a real show."

"Really?"

Jax nodded. "Really."

Brenda had never seen an opera before. She had no idea if she would even like it, but she was going to give it a chance, especially since it meant, she didn't have to talk to him.

This was not just a show, this was a huge production. She was so into it. There were so many highs and lows, throughout the show. It was a love story, and everything about it was breathtaking. The singing, the emotion, it seemed so real. By the time that it was over, she was emotionally drained, but she loved every minute of it.

They stood up and clapped after it was over. The actors went through their normal routines of bowing, as if it was a full house.

"That was really good."

"Glad you liked it."

"I never knew you liked operas."

"I've been to one or two. I remember seeing this one, and I thought it would be perfect for tonight."

"Well, it was. I'll have to bring Mona. And you rented this whole theatre out?"

"Yes."

"Jax, you didn't have to do that. I would have been perfectly fine, seeing it with five hundred other people."

"I would have too, but at least it isn't taking us two hours to leave."

Brenda laughed. "True."

They made it back to the limo, and now they are on their way to dinner.

They talked about the show, until they pulled up to the restaurant. Jax informed the driver that he could let himself out. He got out, walked around the car, and opened the door for Brenda. They preceded to go into the restaurant, where they are taken to a private dining area.

Jax pulled out her chair. She thanked him, and sat down. Brenda had a feeling, that this was going to be one of the longest, dinners of her life. At least at the opera, they could focus on the show, and not each other. But now they were at dinner, alone in a room, and neither one, could escape the other.

Their personal waiter introduced himself, and handed Jax and Brenda a wine list. Jax looked up at her. "What would you like?"

"I don't care, you choose."

Jax made a choice, took Brenda's list and handed them both to the waiter. He left briefly and brought back a bottle of wine, in which he poured into their glasses. They ordered, and he left.

To say that it was awkward and uncomfortable, would be an understatement. Brenda could not pretend she wasn't still angry with Jax.

"Brenda, I got this room, so that we could talk things out."

"Jax, you already know how I feel."

"You hate me."

Brenda looked down. "I don't hate you, I just don't like you."

"Wow…..."

"It's how I feel. Honestly, I never wanted to lay eyes on you again."

"I felt the same way about you, for a very long time."

She looked up into his eyes. "I didn't say no."

"No, but you kissed another man. You don't think that hurt?"

"It was just a kiss."

"Yeah, to you. Not to me. You left me, for the man you were kissing. You don't think I would have a problem with that?"

"Yes, but you should have discussed it with me."

"Maybe I should have. Like I told you at the auction, I had every intentions of marrying you."

"So that makes it better, and I should be more understanding?."

The waiter returned with their food, but neither one felt like eating. Jax asked the waiter for privacy.

By this point Brenda had gotten up, and walked out onto the balcony. Jax followed her. "Brenda, I don't think you should be understanding. But you can't be all that shocked."

"Are you serious? You let me walk down that isle, with all of our friends present, and you said no. Knowing how devastated I was when, Sonny did it. And I don't care if you showed up! It doesn't make it right! You were there Jax. You were there for my nervous breakdown. And you still did it."

"I didn't know I was going to say no, until it came out."

Brenda looked out into the night. "You broke my heart."

Jax stared at her. "And you didn't break mine? You couldn't expect me to always be the bigger person. I watched you and Sonny make eyes at each other, the first time we were together. I saw all of that, and I tried to pretend like I didn't see it. Because I believed one day you would wake up, and see what we had. But you didn't. You left me, for the love of your life. You have no idea what that did to me. I had this woman, that I loved with all of my heart, who wanted someone else. But somehow we found our way back. And finally, I thought we were going to make it work. And you kissed him again. I couldn't put myself through that, not again. I was not going to sit around, and wait for you to walk through the door, and tell me you're leaving."

Brenda turned to him. "That never would have happened. I loved you Jax."

"Not if you had to kiss another man, to know for sure."

"That kiss with Sonny, meant nothing. It was a mistake. I always loved you. But regardless, you still had no right to do that to me. You could have told me, before the ceremony."

"Look, it happened. We can't change it. You kissed Sonny, and I said no."

"And don't forget the one million dollars you offered me."

Jax sighed. "We can't change any of it. I hate that it happened, I really do, but it did. I just don't want us to go on like this. I realize we don't see each other everyday….."

At that moment Brenda thought about Lola. She saw him everyday, when she looked into Lola's eyes.

"….I think we can get passed this. I think we can be friends again. It's been eight years. I understand if you want to go on hating me, or whatever you want to call it. But I had to try to make things right. I didn't want to leave this earth, with this still hanging over our heads. Regardless if we ever see each other again, I would love to know that you forgave me."

"Jax, it's not that easy. The hurt is still very fresh."

"Not for me."

"Well, I didn't say no to you."

"But you-."

"I know! I kissed Sonny! The kiss was a mistake!"

Jax stared at her for a moment, and started laughing, and so did Brenda. "This back and forth, is getting ridiculous. I said my peace. So, If I die tomorrow, or you die tomorrow, my conscious is clear. I've done everything I can to make it right."

*silence* Brenda swallowed hard, and stared out into the night. "When I first saw you…at the luncheon, I wanted to slap the hell out of you."

Jax's eyes are still on her. "If it will help you get over it…..."

Brenda shook her head. "I'm not going to hit you. Jax, I want to get passed this, but for some reason I just can't."

"You can if you try hard. You forgave Sonny, why can't you forgive me?"

"We never got back together after he left me. We're not even friends. But Jax, it's not the same. I never in a million years thought you would do anything like that. I always thought my heart was safe with you."

'It was, but I'm human Brenda."

Brenda sighed. "I know."

His eyes are still on her, as she looked down at the street below.

Brenda continued. "I was hurt more than anything. I never thought you would treat me like that."

"The only thing I can say is I'm sorry."

"It just doesn't seem like it's enough."

Jax watched as the wind whipped through her hair. "I'd give you the world, if it would make things right between us."

She looked over at him. "You don't have a time machine laying around do you?"

"If I did, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"I should have never kissed Sonny."

"And I…..shouldn't have done a lot of things."

Brenda took a deep breath, and let it out. "I don't want to talk it about it anymore, because you're right, we can't change it."

"No we can't, but we can move forward."

"Yes." *silence* "Jax, I just noticed your accent has faded a little."

"Has it?"

"Yes, it has."

"I guess, I've been in the States too long."

"At least you're still good looking."

Jax smiled. "Am I?"

Brenda laughed. "Come on, all this therapy has made me hungry." They go back inside, and have dinner…

Brenda and Jax are on the way up to her place. They ride the elevator in silence. After exiting, they walk down the hall to her apt. Brenda unlocked, and opened the door. She turned. "Thanks for tonight."

"Thanks for listening. I don't know if we can be friends after this, but I think it is a step in the right direction."

"Yeah, it is."

"Brenda, there is a reason I'm in Rome. I've been asked to help with ASEC."

"What?"

"Yes, I haven't accepted. That depends on how you feel about it."

"Jax, it is an organization that helps kids. If you can make it better, than do it." (Damn it, Brenda. There you go again. You should have said, hell no!)

He smiled. "Ok."

"Mamma!"

Brenda turned to see Lola running toward her, she froze. But Lola jumped in her arms. "Lola…what…are you doing up?"

Mona appeared. "She was thirsty….we were on our way to the kitchen."

Jax smiled. "Well, hello there."

Brenda wanted to push him out, and shut the door. But that might look suspicious.

"Wait a minute." He looked at Mona, then Lola. "Now, I remember, I met you in the hotel lobby, in Paris. She dropped her necklace."

Brenda's eyes got wide. "What?"

Mona smiled. "Yes, that's right."

"Brenda, I had no idea I was meeting your daughter. She is gorgeous."

"Thanks. So…you three have already met?"

"Briefly…..in the lobby of your hotel in Paris. Aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Ahh…yeah…um…Lola, this is my friend Jax."

Lola smiled. "Hello."

"Hello."

Brenda felt like she was about to have a heart attack. "Ok, say goodnight."

"Buona notte."

Jax smiled. "Good night."

Brenda looked over at Mona. "Could you put her back in the bed? I'll bring her something to drink, in a minute."

Mona took Lola back to her bedroom.

"Brenda, she really is beautiful."

"Thanks."

"And thanks for tonight, I hope it helped…..ease some of the hurt, hate, or whatever you want to call it."

"It helped."

Their eyes lock for a moment. Brenda looked away.

His eyes never leave her. "I won't keep you. Take care."

She looked up into his eyes. "Goodnight, Jax." Brenda watched as he walked down the hall. She quickly closed the door, and leaned up against it. (He had no idea.)

Mona walked into the living room, and saw Brenda up against the door. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"He is a very good looking man."

"Yeah…..he is."

"Someone from your past…right?"

Brenda had a hard time, putting her thoughts together. "Yeah."

"Brenda….relax, he doesn't know."

"Know what?"

"Look, Brenda, I always suspected Lola was yours. I don't know why you don't want anyone to know that. And I'll never tell a soul, but if you don't want that guy to know, he's the father, you have to relax. And yes, I knew, when I opened the door and looked into his eyes. It was like looking into Lola's."

"Mona, I-."

"Don't worry, he won't hear it from me. I'm going to get Lola something to drink." Brenda watched as Mona headed into the kitchen…...


	4. Back to December

**No one leaves….."Back to December"**

Brenda couldn't believe that Mona knew. She wasn't at all worried that she would tell anyone, because she trusted her, but if Mona knew, who else could tell? After kissing Lola goodnight, Mona prepared to leave.

"Mona?"

"Yes."

"How…did you know?"

"I've been around you, since she was a baby. I've watched her grow up. She's getting older Brenda, and she's starting to look like you. I see it, because I'm around her more than anyone else. I don't think he'll be able to tell yet. But he will one day."

"But how did you know, he was her father?"

"Besides the eyes, your reaction to him. Is he ever coming back?"

Brenda shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, but he's working with ASEC now."

"Relax, he doesn't have a clue. I'm not sure why, you don't want him to know, and I won't ask. But your secret is safe with me. I also think it's best, that we don't mention it again."

"Yeah…..."

Mona smiled. "It's going to be ok." They hug, and Mona leaves.

After Brenda closed and locked the door, she walked over and sat down on the couch. She never in a million years thought, she would see Jax again. And in the beginning, she didn't care, she just wanted to hurt him, like he hurt her. And for a long time she didn't feel guilty. But looking into her child's eyes, his eyes, everyday started to weigh on her. There were times, when she wanted to call and tell him, but she knew Jax would use every connection he had, to take her. She decided to just keep that secret. And it was easy, because he was an ocean away, but now he's working with ASEC.

She sighed. She hoped and prayed they didn't work directly together. But regardless, she had to take Mona's advice, she had to stay calm, and pretend like everything was as it seemed.

She got up, turned out the lights, and went into her room...

Jax had been working for ASEC for a couple of months now, but Brenda never saw him, in fact she hadn't seen him since the night he left her apt. He sent her an email every now and then, but that was it. And it was always charity related. She didn't even know, if he had a place in Rome. She hated having him anywhere near Lola, but she had to admit, he was having a positive affect on the organization.

Brenda was on set, getting ready to record a commercial for the organization. She was in hair and makeup. A woman named Megan, was doing her makeup.

Brenda was sifting through her emails, when she heard Mickal's voice. "What are you doing?"

Megan looked up. "Doing her makeup, you don't like it?"

"I would if she was going to the club."

Brenda looked up, and in the mirror. "Oooh nooo! This is not going to work! What have you done?"

Mickal shooed Megan away. "I'll do it. Brenda, go find a sink, and wash this off."

Brenda got up, and went into the bathroom. After washing her face, she made her way back over to Mickal. He started applying her makeup. Megan stood by and watched closely. Mickal told her, that Brenda needed to look fresh faced, not overly made up. This is for charity, not an ad for the strip club.

Brenda was going through her emails, when she heard Megan squeal. She looked up.

"There is that new hot guy that works for ASEC. He is one amazing looking human being. Yum Yum Gimme Some."

Brenda looked over and saw Jax approaching. Mickal looked down at Brenda. She could feel him looking down at her. "It's fine, Mickal. We are fine."

Mickal looked up at Jax, then at Brenda. "Ok."

Megan looked confused. Jax finally made it over to her.

"Hello, Brenda."

"Hello, Jax."

"If you have a moment, once you're done, I would like to speak to you."

"Ok."

"I'll be in the director's office."

"Ok."

Jax walked off.

Mickal sends Megan away.

"I wanted to ask if you were ok, with him working here."

"Yeah, it's fine. I hardly see him. And he's been doing a wonderful job. We've talked, and we're fine."

"Good, because he is so fine and so smart. I didn't want to have to be mean, to a man that gorgeous. That would be against everything I believe in."

Brenda laughed.

He finished her make up, and she headed to the director's office.

She knocked on the door, and was told to come in. She saw Suzanne, who was the President of the organization, going over something with Jax.

They looked up. Suzanne motioned for her to come in. "Have a seat Brenda. I have some good news."

She looked at Jax and then back at Suzanne, as she cautiously took a seat.

Suzanne continued. "I wanted to share this with you first. We are gearing up for a huge charity event. This one is bigger than anything we have ever had, and we owe it all to Mr. Jax. We are having a concert to benefit ASEC. Not just a little benefit, this is huge with a number of big acts, already committed. The concert will be in London, with the majority of the profits going directly to the organization. And it is happening pretty fast. We have two months to create some buzz. Of course there is radio, but we also need you."

"And no one knows about it yet?"

"No. We have changed today's format, because we have to get the word out."

Brenda looked at Jax then Suzanne. "I am really happy about this concert, but I think we need more time."

Jax leaned back in his seat. "Yes, it's soon. But we have to take advantage of the weather, because it is an outdoor concert. Look Brenda, it will be a lot of hard work, especially for you, because you are the spokesperson, but I promise, it will be well worth it. I think it will raise a lot of money."

"Basically, this means I will be traveling a lot?"

Suzanne twirled her pen. "Yes."

"I have a seven year old, or have you two forgotten? I don't want to leave her."

Jax sat up. "Take her with you."

"I don't know. She doesn't mind some travel, but-."

Suzanne interrupts. "You'll be on Jax's private jet. He'll be going on these press tours with you."

"What? Whoa, I didn't know that."

"Brenda, you are going to be on a private jet. You can bring your child, and Mona if she'll come. Come on, this is the type of exposure we've been needing. Think about all those kids, that are relying on us."

Suzanne knew just how to get to Brenda. Brenda sighed. "I can't let them down. Ok, I'll see what I can work out."

Suzanne smiled and stood up. "Great, now I'll go tell the rest of the team. Well the ones that are here. I'll send out an official email tonight." She leaves, leaving Jax and Brenda alone. Jax could tell that Brenda was worried.

"It will be fine. I could get Lola a tutor."

"No, I can take care of that."

"Are you ok….with working...so closely with me?"

"Of course." Brenda rolled her eyes. "We are the best of friends."

Jax laughed at her attempt at sarcasm. "Brenda, it will be fine. It will demanding, as far as the interviews are concerned, but I'll be there to help you out."

"Jax, I am really excited about this concert, but do you honestly think we can work together?"

His blue eyes look into hers. "Yes..."

Jax and Brenda spent the next few weeks, working closely together, getting ready for the interviews. And it turns out, Jax managed to get a lot of the interviews on the weekend, so Lola didn't need a tutor. Their first public appearance was on a Wednesday. Mona stayed with Lola, so she wouldn't miss school. Brenda was incredibly nervous. She would be traveling alone, with Jax. Yes, they had been working together, but other people were always around.

Jax had a car pick her up, and bring her to the airport. He was already in the plane, when she arrived.

He stood up, when he saw her entering. He smiled. "Hello."

"Hi."

"You can sit wherever you'd like."

"Is that where you are sitting?"

"Yes."

"Ok, I'll sit over here."

Jax laughed. "Brenda, are you ok?"

"Fine Jax."

She made her way over to her seat, which was in the first set of seats, in front of Jax.

"Brenda, you don't think it's odd that we aren't sitting by, or near each other?"

She shook her head. "No."

Jax chuckled. "Ok. Well, would you like something to drink?"

"Water please."

"Ok." He pressed a button, and a very refined looking guy came out. Jax requested a bottled water for Brenda, and nothing for himself.

The guy came out, and sat Brenda's glass down, and poured her water into it. He also placed a cloth napkin on her lap.

"Sir, you didn't have to do that, I can drink it out of the bottle. And I didn't need a napkin."

The guy looked at her as if she was crazy, nodded and left.

Brenda turned and peeked over the seat at Jax. "I feel like I should have worn an evening gown on this flight. How dare I drink water from a water bottle?"

Jax laughed. "It's just a courtesy."

"He looked at me like I was trash."

"No he didn't."

"I disagree."

"Brenda, why don't come, and sit back here with me? You wouldn't have to strain your neck."

"No, I'm fine." She turned back around. A couple of minutes later, she turned around. and peeked over the seat again. "Jax, when was the plane last serviced?"

"Right before we got in it."

Brenda's eyes got wide. "Was something broken?"

Jax laughed. "No, just a checkup."

"Brenda, you really should consider moving, you really are going to strain your neck. I don't bite."

She sighed. "Ok." She got up, and sat down in front of Jax.

"See, now isn't this better?" Brenda looked on as he sifted through, a couple of stacks of papers.

"ASEC business?"

"No."

"You've been working a lot lately, haven't you?"

"Yes, I have to have something to keep me occupied."

"Jax, where do you live?"

"I live out of a suitcase."

"You need a place to call home."

"I have my hotel rooms. My home was wherever Josslyn was, but she isn't here anymore. I'm fine with the way things are."

"You're going to get tired of living out of suitcases."

"Maybe so. But I'm sure it won't always be like this, but for right now it works for me."

"Ok, well go ahead and submerge yourself, in your fun paperwork."

She leaned back and put her headphones on. Their was a TV facing her. She picked a movie, and started watching it. Before long she was asleep.

Jax made a quite a few phone calls, as he made his way through, the huge stack of papers. He eventually packed them up, and leaned back. His eyes rested on Brenda, who was still sleeping. He took in the curve of her lips, and the beautiful planes of her face. It had been a long time, since he actually looked at her. She had always been beautiful, but somehow she surpassed what he remembered. He missed everything about her, but most of all he missed having her in his arms. He had never stopped loving her. He was angry with her for awhile, but he never stopped wanted, or needing her. He had packed away all of his feelings, but the day he saw her at that luncheon, was the day he knew he had to get her back. He made a terrible mistake all those years ago. It was no coincidence that he was going on these trips with Brenda. Things like this, didn't just happen, he had to make them happen.

At that moment Brenda's eyes open. She stretched, and looked over at Jax, who quickly looked away. She took off her headphones. "How long do we have?"

"Any minute now."

"Great..."

Jax and Brenda have made it to London. They checked into their hotel rooms, which were right next to each other. Once Jax finished freshening up, he knocked on Brenda's door. She opened it.

"I'm almost ready."

Jax walked in and closed the door. Brenda went back into the room. Minutes later, she returned. She was fumbling with the zipper on her skirt.

Jax looked on, as she continued to struggle with it. She turned and looked at him. "Are you going to help me out?"

He stood up, walked over, and slid the zipper up.

"Thanks, even though I had to beg."

"You didn't have to beg. I didn't know if it was ok to touch you. I was taught that you shouldn't touch a woman, without her permission."

Brenda looked at him for a moment. "Jax, I was a having trouble with my zipper, not my bra. I think you have lost a few brain cells, in the last eight years."

Jax laughed.

Brenda looked in the mirror, and then turned to him. "How do I look?"

"Good."

"Ok, let's go."

They quickly headed out of the door, and down to a waiting car. Brenda and Jax are on the way to the TV station.

Brenda is going over her notes. "Jax, I think you should do the interview with me."

"No, you're the spokesperson."

"Yeah, but I think it would be better, if we both did it. You don't have to do them all, just this one."

"I'm not prepared to go on camera."

"Jax, yes you are. You are always prepared to go on camera. I don't know a man, that dresses as sharply as you. Look sweeth-….I'm sorry."

"Brenda, it's ok. I'm sure you have called me worse."

She grinned. "Yeah, you're right, but come on Jax, it will be fun."

Jax sighed. "I don't know."

"Jax…come on! Just this one time. Please!"

"Ok, just this one time."

She smiled. "Great." Minutes later, they pulled up to the TV station, and exited the car. Before Brenda could stop herself, she reached up, and adjusted Jax's tie.

Jax grinned. "Is it straight now?"

Brenda quickly pulled her hand away. "I'm sorry. Old habits…..but come on, we are going to be late..."

The interview went off without a hitch. They managed to squeeze in several more, by the end of the day, they were exhausted. Exhausted but pleased…

After reaching the hotel, they went back to there respective rooms. Brenda showered, and changed into a tank and some shorts. About ten minutes later, she heard a knock at her door. She wrapped a towel around her hair, and opened the door. It was Jax. He followed her in. They didn't want to go anywhere for dinner, so they decided to order room service.

Jax collapsed on the sofa, and Brenda sat in the chair. She pulled her knees to her chest.

"Miss Barrett, we make a pretty good team."

"Yes, we do, Mr. Jax."

"Brenda, I know it has to hard, being forced into this situation with me. I appreciate how good you're being about it."

"Jax, it's fine. I was a little nervous at first, but it's actually been ok. And you are doing some wonderful things for this organization."

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

*knock at the door*

Jax stood up. "I'll get it."

Brenda took a moment, to go into the bedroom, and call Lola. Jax was in the living room setting everything up. He overheard Brenda talking to her daughter. He smiled, he always knew she would be a good mother, and she was proving him right. He could tell she meant the world to her.

Brenda walked out of the bedroom, and found Jax sitting at the table, waiting on her.

"You didn't have to wait, I'm sure you must be starving."

"I was trying to be a gentlemen."

Brenda took a seat across from him. "I wish you would have thought about that, on our wedding day. Because you were not gentleman then."

Jax didn't see that one coming. "Brenda, I thought we were making an attempt…. at leaving that in the past."

"I'm sorry, it just slipped out. Jax, I've been angry with you for a long time. I'm not completely over it, but I'm trying. I apologize, we are supposed to be moving forward."

"You know if I could take everything back, I would."

"I know, let's just eat. I don't know why I said that."

Jax opened a bottle of wine, and poured it into their glasses. They eat in silence. This whole situation had turned uncomfortable, and it was all because of her big mouth.

"Jax, I'm sorry I said what I said, I don't want this to become awkward."

Jax stopped eating and looked up at her. "I don't think you really need me on the press tours, I don't want to be a distraction."

"You're not a distraction. I have really enjoyed working with you. I just made a stupid comment. Can we just forget I ever said it…..please?"

He shrugged. "It's forgotten."

"Now, let's finish eating."

They finish eating, and almost finished off the whole bottle of wine, in the process. They moved to sofa.

Brenda sat her glass down on the table. "Jax, how in the world, did you end up marrying Carly?"

Jax laughed. "It was just one of those things."

"Were you on drugs?"

"No."

"You….actually…fell in love with Carly?"

Jax shrugged.

"Was it all that you hoped, and dreamed it would be."

"Worse."

Brenda burst into laughter. "Ok, ok, ok….but I'm sure you two, had some good times too?"

"Yeah, for little while, maybe a couple of months."

Brenda laughed.

"I would have divorced her a long time ago, but I stayed because of Josslyn." He looked off. "She was my everything."

The smile left Brenda's face. "I'm…..sure she was."

"I miss her."

"I know."

Jax leaned back on the sofa, and decided to change the subject. "Are you seeing anyone now?"

Brenda picked up her glass, and drunk some wine. "No."

"Do you mind if I ask why not?"

"I don't mind. I'm just not, doesn't seem that important right now." She looked over at him. "What about you?"

Jax shook his head. "No. Remember….I haven't even found a home."

Brenda grinned. "You need to work on that."

He looked over at her. "Yeah, I do."

Brenda removed the towel from her head, and threw it on one of the chairs.

Without thinking Jax reached over, and ran his fingers through it. "It's almost dry."

Their eyes lock for a moment. Brenda looked away. "I think we should get some sleep."

Jax nodded and stood up. He walked over to the door, with Brenda following. He opened the door, and turned around. "Goodnight."

She looked into his eyes. "Good…night" Jax didn't move, he wanted to he just couldn't. His eyes moved down to her lips. Jax leaned down, he was so close, she could feel his breath on her lips. She pulled away. "Whoa…Jax."

He apologized and left, closing the door behind him. Brenda stared at the door for a moment. She was still angry with Jax for what he did, but a part of her still loved him, in spite of everything. She sighed, and walked toward the bedroom…...

**Part 2**

It's the next morning, and Brenda is preparing to leave. *knock at the door* She walked over and opened it. It was Jax, and he was standing there dressed, like he had walked off of the pages of GQ magazine.

Brenda had on a Pink sweat suit. "Really, Jax?"

"What?"

"We are going back to Rome, not to a meeting."

He laughed. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah." A bellhop came in and gathered her bags, they all head downstairs….

Brenda and Jax are on the plane, headed back to Rome. Brenda was looking at a picture of Lola, on her phone.

She was sitting next to Jax, he looked over at it. "She is beautiful Brenda."

"Yeah, I miss my baby." At that moment Brenda realized who she was talking to, she shoved her phone in her purse. She was getting too comfortable around Jax. She had almost started to forget, that he was Lola's father, but maybe that was a good thing. Mona did tell her, to act as normal as possible.

"Brenda, about last night-"

"Jax, nothing happened, just let it go." She looked over at him, and grinned. "I'm just so sexy, you couldn't resist, especially after a whole bottle of wine."

Jax laughed. "Would you like something to drink?"

Brenda smiled "I don't want anymore wine, I'm still trying to get over last night."

"Water?"

"Yes, that would be fine. I'll take a bottled water, no glass."

Jax grinned. "Ok." He pressed a button, and ordered their drinks.

The steward came out, and handed her the bottled water. And opened Jax's, and poured it into his glass. He left.

She opened the bottle, and drunk some. She looked on as Jax, pulled the glass up to his lips. "Jax, you are drinking water out of glass, you are so extra right now."

"Look, I don't give you hell, for drinking out of a bottle, don't give me hell for drinking it out of a glass. I'm in my nice suit, give me a break."

She smiled. "Point to Jax." They both laugh…..

Brenda and Jax went on four more press tours. By the end, they had become friends again. There was nothing awkward, about their relationship anymore. They had develop a certain level of comfort around each other. Brenda still made sure she kept Lola and Jax apart, other than that, everything was fine.

Eventually the time had come for ASEC's benefit concert. There were six acts set to perform. Some of them Brenda knew, and some she didn't. Mickal knew them all, and he was so excited. Brenda brought Lola, but her and Mona would be in a sky box, with the other executive's children. Brenda would be watching on the side of the stage, along with other ASEC representatives. In between the acts, there would different ASEC messages appearing on a huge screen.

The concert was a huge success. Brenda stood on the side, and watched it with Mickal and Jax. The final act was set to perform, and it was Taylor Swift. Brenda knew of her, but she really wasn't into her music. Mickal loved her. Jax felt the same way Brenda did. He didn't know any of her songs, but the people loved her, and to him that all that's mattered.

Brenda looked on as she performed. She was really talented. Mickal told her that she wrote her own songs, which impressed her, because she was so young. And a lot of them, were really catchy.

They looked on, as Taylor gave a little back ground information, a on song she was getting ready to do. She said it was about love and regret. "Someone requested this song. It's been eight long years, and if he could, he'd go back and change what happened. Ok, this song is called, Back to December. If you know it sing along."

Brenda looked over at Jax, who was staring straight ahead. Maybe she heard wrong. Her focus shifted back to Taylor.

As she started to sing, the large crowd started to sing with her.

_I'm so glad you made time to see me_

_How's life tell how your's family?_

_I haven't seen them in awhile_

_You've been good_

_Busier than ever_

_We small talk_

_Work and the weather_

_Your guard is up and I know why_

_Because the last time you saw me_

_It still burned in the back of your mind_

_You gave me roses, and I left them there to die_

_So this is me swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December all the time_

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_

_Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine_

_I go back to December, turn around and make it alright_

_I go back to December all the time_

As the lyrics were sung, she looked over at Jax, who was still watching Taylor sing. Maybe she was mistaken, but how many people, went through a break up eight years ago. She looked out onto the stage, then at Jax, who didn't seem phased. She dismissed it, as just a coincidence, and turned her focus back to the stage.

_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile_

_So good to me, so right_

_And how you held me in your arms that September night_

_The first time you ever saw me cry_

_Maybe this is wishful thinking_

_Probably mindless dreaming_

_But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right_

_I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't_

_So if the chain is on your door, I understand_

At that moment Jax grabbed her hand, which caught her off guard. He guided her away from the crowd.

Brenda looked up into his eyes. "Jax, what's going on?"

Jax put his hands into his pockets. "I dedicated that song to you….us."

"I didn't think you knew any of her songs."

"I didn't, but I took the time to listened to a couple, and this one made me think of you."

They stare into each other's eyes. "Jax…."

"Listen Brenda, I made a mistake, and if I could I would do it differently, but I can't. I've never gotten over you, and I want you back."

"Oh, Jax." She sighed. "Jax, Jax, Jax, you don't understand, before you go confessing your love, there is something I think you need to know."

"I don't want to know."

"No, I think you will want to know this."

"Brenda, if it happened eight years ago, I don't want to know."

"But you-."

"Brenda, do you love me?"

She suddenly got quiet, his eyes are on her. Tears fill her eyes. "Damn it Jax." Tears trickle down her cheeks. He reached over, and wiped them away. She looked up into his eyes. "Why did you have to come to Rome?"

"Brenda, if you don't…..I understand."

"Jax…Lola-."

"Look, go be with your daughter. And once she's in bed tonight, come to my room so we can finish this conversation."

Brenda noticed that Taylor had finished, and the concert was wrapping up. "Ok."

"I'm serious Brenda."

"Ok, because we really do need to talk. And this is not the time or the place."

"I agree."

He leaves, and a stunned Brenda heads to the sky box….

It was early evening when the concert ended. Brenda took Lola to dinner. Mona went back to he hotel to rest.

Brenda looked over at Lola. "Did you have fun at the concert?"

"Yes, but it was too loud."

Brenda laughed. "I'm assuming you like playing, with the other kids the most?"

Her eyes lit up. "Yes! It was the best fun ever."

Brenda looked on, as Lola told her all about the games they played. As Lola spoke, she would make these facial expressions, that reminded her so much of Jax. She started feeling extremely guilty. She was depriving her daughter of her father. All of a sudden she felt really selfish. She did all of this to get back at Jax, but in the end, she was hurting Lola the most. She had to tell Jax…..

After bathing Lola and putting her to bed, Brenda showered and dressed. When Brenda finished dressing, she walked out into the living room. Mona was up watching TV.

Mona could tell something was wrong. "Brenda, what's wrong?"

"I think I'm going to tell Jax."

"Why?"

"Because it's wrong to keep, Lola from her father."

"Brenda….are you ready for the fall out?"

"No, but it has to be done."

"When are you going to tell him?"

"Tonight. I want to tell him, before we leave London. It's so exhausting, trying to hide it."

Mona sighed. "Good luck."

Brenda stood up. "Thanks, I'm going to need it….."

Jax was sitting on the sofa in his hotel room, drinking a glass of wine, when he heard a knock. He threw on a shirt, walked over, and opened the door. It was Brenda.

"Hey."

"Hey, come in."

Brenda walked in, and Jax followed her over to the sofa.

"Would you like something…wine, water?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Brenda, I'm going to get right to it, I told you how I felt, but I still don't know how you feel."

Brenda had not even thought about that, her mind was on how was she going to tell him, he was Lola's father. "Jax…..I don't know what to say."

"Just be honest."

(Honest? Lola is your child, I lied. Honest enough for you?) "Jax, I spent years not liking you, and then all of a sudden you are back in my life. I didn't like it at first, but it hasn't been all that bad. I've accepted what happened, it doesn't stop it from hurting sometimes, but I've accepted it."

"But do you still love me, because if you do, nothing else matters."

Brenda felt her heart racing. "Jax…you don't understand. I…"

"Brenda, just answer the question."

She looked into his eyes, and they were so full of love and hope. "I was so hurt by what you did, and I tried to convince myself, that I didn't love you anymore. And when I saw you at that luncheon, yes a part of me wanted to slap you, but the other part wanted to run and jump into your arms." She reached over and caressed his cheek. "I really missed being able to do that. I missed you, and I still love you. I never stopped, and I have tried to forget you, but-."

Jax reached over and put a finger up to her lips. "You've said enough. You still love me…..that's all I need to know….."

He pulled her over, and now she is sitting in his lap. He pulled her hands up to his lips. Their eyes are locked, in an intense gaze, as he kissed them both. "Jax, please, there is something we have to talk about."

"Not tonight." He slid his hand up the nape of her neck, his eyes never leave hers. He leaned forward, and pressed his lips against hers. They both moan, and the kiss is deepened. Their tongues touch, sending waves of heat and need, throughout their bodies. Brenda straddled him, without breaking the kiss. Jax slid his hand up under her shirt…cupping her. He broke the kiss, and moved down to her neck. She let out a soft moan, as he pulled the skin of her neck into his mouth. Her head is swimming, from the feel of his mouth on her skin. She reached down and pulled at his shirt. He helped her remove it. She pushed him back on the couch, and her lips find his chest. He rubbed her head, planting small kisses on the top, as her lips sweep across his chest. He pulled her back up, and their lips meet again. Jax stood up, and she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, as he made his way into the bedroom…..

Jax placed Brenda on the bed. She sat up, he reached down, and pulled her shirt off. His lips quickly find the buds on her chest. She moaned his name, and pulled at the string on his pants. He stood up briefly, and removed them. She took him in, his body was just as she remembered it…perfect. She pulled him back onto the bed. They share a quick passionate kiss. Brenda got out of bed, and Jax sat up. He started kissing her stomach. She placed his hands on her pants, and he guided them down her legs.

The only thing that's left, is the piece of silk covering her love. Jax reached over, and pulled them slowly down her legs. He guided her back onto the bed. He stood over her, pulling one leg up to his lips. He made a pathway up, until he found the loveliest of spots. Brenda felt his warm mouth against her, she let out a deep moan. She ran her fingers through his hair, as he made love to her with his mouth. Jax didn't stop until she cried out. He planted a couple of kisses on her thighs, and made his way up her torso, until they were face to face. She caressed his face, and ran her other hand down his body. She felt him in her hand. Jax's body was perfection, not an ounce of fat on it. She smiled. "You're beautiful."

His blue eyes dance in the moonlit room. "And you're breathtaking, and I missed you." He positioned himself, as he held her gaze. Brenda gasped, as she felt his body slowly enter hers. Jax was not a small man, but he knew how to use what he was given. Jax moaned as he felt her love grip his. She dug her nails into his back, as he made love to her. A tear fell down the side of her face, which did not go unnoticed by Jax. He reached up, and wiped it away. He then leaned down and pressed his lips against hers…...

Brenda's head rests on Jax's chest. She felt his breathing steady, he had fallen asleep. She didn't come here to make love to him, she came to tell him Lola was his child. She had to tell him, but it wouldn't be tonight…..

***Back to December-Lyrics by Taylor Swift***


	5. Eight years too late

**No one leaves….."eight years too late."**

Jax kissed Brenda's neck, then moved up to her lips. "I missed these lips."

She grinned. "I can tell."

"What time do you have to leave?"

"Are you kicking me out?"

"I'd prefer it if you stayed. But I do realize, you have a child you have to get back to."

She looked over at the clock. "I have a couple of hours, before she wakes up."

Jax leaned down and kissed her. "We can get a lot done in that amount of time."

She smiled, but on the inside, she was a mess. Brenda knew she had to tell Jax. She didn't want to, but she had to. Jax pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed it. She looked up into his eyes. "Jax...we need to talk."

He moved up her arm, until he found her neck again. "Brenda, we can talk anytime."

She sat up, pulling the covers with her. "Please Jax."

He stopped kissing her. He could tell something was really troubling her. "Brenda...I'll tell you again, if it happened eight years ago, I don't want to know."

"You don't understand."

"I do understand. Maybe you did something, that you feel guilty about, and now you want to ease your conscience. You don't have to."

"Jax...I didn't sleep with Sonny, if that's what you are thinking."

"Brenda, I'm not thinking anything. Look, I'm not sure how you feel about last night, but for me, it meant just maybe, we can get it right this time."

Brenda felt a lump form in her throat. "Jax-."

"Brenda, I know I hurt you, but at no point, have I ever stopped loving you. I don't expect everything to be ok, not all of a sudden. I realize it's going to take time. But I want to try, if you do? And I also don't expect for things, to pick up where they left off."

"I don't want things to pick up, where they left off. I might have to slap you, if you offered me money again."

"I wasn't referring to that."

"I know what you meant." She smiled. "And I was joking."

Jax grinned. "I can never be sure with you. And as far as this big thing, you just have to tell me, keep it to yourself. Because if it will change this." He leaned over and kissed her. "I don't want to know." He grabbed both sides of her face, and kissed her passionately, guiding her back onto the pillow...

Brenda had just gotten out of the shower. She heard her room door open. Mona walked in, and sat down on the bed.

"You didn't comeback last night. I guess it's safe to assume, you didn't tell him."

"Mona, I tried. But he told me flat out, if it happened eight years ago, he didn't want to know. I know I have to tell him. He needs to know. And regardless of what he is saying, he would want to know this."

"I'm sure the right time will come, you just have to make him listen."

Brenda sighed. "I know." Mona eventually left, and Brenda was alone again.

She glared out the window and sighed. Being in his arms, felt so right. She had missed him so much. Yes, Jax made a huge mistake, but she had made quite a few herself. This could have been a chance to start over, and maybe get it right. But that would never happen, not after Jax found out about Lola. She knew he wouldn't understand, and she couldn't blame him. The alarm went off on her phone. She walked over and turned it off. Then she headed to Lola's room...

After leaving London, Brenda headed back to Rome, and Jax went to Australia. She spoke with him just before he left, but hadn't heard from him since. It seemed like forever, but it had only been a week, since they'd last seen each other. She should have been glad he was gone, but she wasn't. She missed him...

Brenda is in a ASEC meeting, going over the final numbers for the concert. The door opened, and Jax walked in. Her heart skipped a beat. He looked at her and nodded, then grabbed an empty seat. The meeting continued...

After the meeting adjourned, Jax made his way over to Brenda.

He looked into her eyes. He could tell she missed him, just as much as he missed her. He couldn't touch her, because there were still quite a few people, in the conference room.

He smiled. "Hello."

"Hello, Jax."

Jax thought she looked so beautiful. "How have you been?"

"Fine, and you?"

"I've been ok." Jax watched as the last person left. He walked over to the door, then closed, and locked it. He made his way back over to Brenda. "I missed you." And before she could respond, he grabbed and kissed her. He moved his lips expertly against hers, making his way inside. There tongues intertwined, and the kiss grew in intensity. Brenda's whole body was on fire. Even her toes were tingling. She knew if she didn't stop it, they would end up on top of the conference room table. She pulled away.

Jax apologized. "I'm sorry...I assumed you missed me too."

"Jax, it's not that. I just don't want to have sex, on the conference room table."

Jax laughed. "It was just a kiss."

"That was more than a kiss. That was a, where is the zipper on your dress, type of kiss."

Jax smiled. "Is Lola in school today?"

Brenda's heart skipped a beat. "Yes….why do you ask?"

"Because I would love it, if you joined me for lunch."

She smiled. "Ok…"

Jax and Brenda are at lunch. He poured some wine into her glass.

"Jax, if you missed me so much, why didn't you call?"

"Because, I didn't want to do too much, too soon. And honestly, I didn't know how you would feel about it."

"Jax, you saw my lady bits, I think it's safe to assume, you can call."

Jax laughed. "Well, now I know." He took a sip of wine. "Brenda, honestly how do you feel about this?"

"I don't know."

"If you need time, I have it to give."

"Jax, it's not about time." She sighed and took a sip of wine. "It's more complicated than that."

"No, it's not. You said you still loved me, in my opinion, that's all that matters."

"It isn't that simple."

"It can be, if that's what you want."

"Even if I wanted it to be, it still wouldn't be that simple."

Jax decided to change the subject. "Look, let's eat, we can talk about that later."

Brenda sighed. "Works for me." Jax and Brenda are eating. Brenda looked over at him. "How are your parents?"

"Lady Jane is fine, but my father passed away awhile ago."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"It's ok. I'm sure no one wanted to mention, my name around you."

"They didn't have a problem telling me, you were married to Carly."

Jax smiled. "Maybe they wanted you to feel better, knowing I was out there suffering."

She laughed. "Maybe so." She reached over and grabbed his hand. "I am really sorry about your father, I really liked him."

"Thanks." They continue eating.

"And Jax, I did miss you, while you were away."

"I know you did."

She smiled. "I don't think you knew anything."

"I did. I saw it in your eyes, when I walked into the conference room. That was my invitation to kiss you."

"That was your invitation, to shove you tongue down my throat."

Jax laughed. "That kiss was sweet and tender."

She grinned. "There was nothing sweet about that kiss."

"Speaking of sweet, would you like dessert?"

She shook her head. "No, I think it's time for us to leave."

Jax looked confused. "Do you have somewhere you have to be?"

Brenda shook her head. "No. I think it's time you showed me your suite."

He smiled. "Ok." And signaled for the check…

Jax and Brenda are just walking into his hotel suite. Brenda looked around. "This is really nice. You are living like a rock star."

Jax took off his jacket, and tossed it on a chair. "Just somewhere to rest my head."

She looked into his eyes. "Aren't you going to show me around?"

"Brenda there really isn't anything special about this room. It has a kitchen, a living room, and a couple of bedrooms. I think the only thing special in this room is you."

She walked over, and started unbuttoning his shirt. "Jax, I wanted you to show me your bedroom, I didn't really want a tour." She started kissing his chest, while sliding his shirt down his arms. "I have never seen a more perfect body."

"I have….yours." He pulled her up, into a kiss. Jax started releasing the buttons on her shirt. After all the buttons are undone, he broke the kiss, and trailed kissed down her body. He moved back up to her lips. He then reached down, and pulled her skirt up. Jax picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He walked quickly to the bedroom.

He opened the door, and they enter. "This is the bedroom."

Brenda looked into his blue eyes. "It's lovely."

He walked over to the bed. "And this is the bed."

Minutes later, they are both completely naked…his lips all over her body…their bodies drenched in sweat….her nails scraping his back….and then they both, reach the highest of highs….together…..

Brenda's head is resting on Jax's chest. "The sound of your heart beating, is still the most amazing thing, I've ever heard."

"Tell me anything." Jax ran his fingers through her hair.

"It's the truth." She planted a kiss on his chest. At that moment, tears rolled down her cheeks.

He pulled her up, and instantly noticed them. "I know we missed a lot of time, but we can make up for it."

Brenda didn't say a word. She just looked into his eyes. She wanted to hold on to all that love, because she knew there would be a time, when he wouldn't look at her like that.

He caressed her face. "Maybe it's too soon, and I know you haven't completely forgiven me, but I want you back. And….I think we can make it work this time. I don't want anyone else, and I don't think you do either. I know I said I'd give you time, and I will, if that's what you need. But I want you, I always have. And I would also love, to get to know your daughter too. If that's ok?"

She leaned in and kissed him. Brenda couldn't let this go on any further. "Jax…." *phone rings*

"Hold that thought." He reached over and answered it. "Yes, well, I'm in the middle of something." He sighed. "Ok, just give me a minute." He placed the phone on mute. "I'm sorry, I need to go and fax something right quick."

"Go ahead, I have to get dressed. It's almost time to pick up…..Lola."

"Ok, I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

He kissed her, then jumped out of bed, and went into to the living room. Brenda sighed, got out of bed, and headed to the bathroom…...

**Part 2**

Lola is practicing her violin, as Brenda looked on. Lola reminded her so much of Jax. She was already driven, and she was only seven. Lola stopped playing and looked at Brenda.

"Did you like that one Mamma?"

"Of course, Sweetheart. I think that's the best one yet."

Lola smiled and started back playing. *knock at the door*

Brenda sat her coffee cup down, and got up. She walked over to the door, and looked out the peephole. It was Mona. She opened the door. "Well, isn't this a surprise?"

"I missed my girls." They hug, and Mona followed her in. Lola spotted Mona, and ran over and hugged her. At that moment Brenda's phone rung. She pulled out her cell phone, and looked at the number. It was Jax. She excused herself, and went into the kitchen.

"Hello."

"Hello, Brenda….this is Jax."

Brenda giggled. "Jax, I think I know your voice."

He laughed. "I wasn't sure, but anyway….I called to invite you to dinner."

"When?"

"Tomorrow night, if you can get away."

"Jax, I'm not sure….I-. You know tomorrow is fine." She normally didn't go out in the middle of the week, but she needed to talk to him. She couldn't keep putting it off.

"Great. I'll see you around seven?"

"Make it eight, I would prefer to leave when Lola's in bed."

"Ok." They say their goodbyes, and Brenda headed back into the living room.

Brenda sat down. Mona looked over at her. "Are you ok?"

"No. I'm going to tell Jax tomorrow. I have to. And I'm not going to chicken out."

"The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be."

"I know, and Mona, on top of everything, we've been seeing each other."

"I figured that, when you didn't come back to the room in London. Are you still in love with him?"

"Yes."

Mona moved closer to her, and grabbed her hand. "Oh, Brenda."

Tears filled her eyes. "He will never forgive me for this. And he has forgiven me for a lot of things."

"But Brenda, based off what you've told me, he has done some bad things too."

"Mona, Jax did this one bad thing to me, but I've done a million bad things to him. And to be honest, apart of me wants to keep this secret forever, because I don't want to mess it up again." She looked over at Lola. "But she is getting big, and you are right, she is starting to look like us."

Mona looked at Lola, who was still playing her violin. "Yes, she is."

"Can you watch Lola, tomorrow night?"

"Of course…..."

After hanging up with Brenda, Jax opened his laptop, and started going through his emails. His phone rung. He reached over, and looked at it. It was his mother. He answered.

"Lady Jane."

"Jax, are you alone?"

"Yes, why?'

"Log on, let's skype, there is something I need to talk to you about."

"Ok. Give me a minute."

Minutes later they are face to face.

Jax can tell something is wrong, it is written all over her face. "Is everything ok?"

"Actually no. I have a question, have you ever met this adopted daughter Brenda has?"

"Yes, and she's lovely."

"You don't find it odd, that she adopted a daughter, not long after you two broke up?"

"No, and it was months after we were done."

"How long has the child, been in her care?"

"Since she was a baby. I don't care if she has a child, why do you?"

"It's not that Jax. After you left Australia, I did some investigating. It took me awhile, but I found a picture of Brenda and her child."

"So? I know what she looks like."

Lady Jane pulled out a photo. It was Brenda and Lola. Lola looked like she was about four in the picture. "Is that her?"

"Yeah. Lady Jane, where are going with this?"

"Jax are you blind?"

"No, what am I supposed to be looking at?"

"That child. Have you ever noticed, she looks a lot like your great grandmother?"

"What?"

Lady Jane put the picture back up, along with a picture of her grandmother. Jax stared at the photos. His great grandmother had Auburn hair. It never dawned on him, because he never knew her. He only saw her in the occasional family photo, and it had been a long time, since he had even seen one of those.

Lady Jane's voice started to shake. "Jax, that is my granddaughter, I'm sure of it. I don't know if she found out, after the wedding. Honestly, I'm not sure. But that is your child."

Jax hardly heard anything after that. He felt like an idiot. If he would have just thought about it, he would have known something was up. She was the right age. He told his mother, that he'd have to talk to her later, but not before getting her to send him a picture of his great grandmother.

He sat there, staring at the picture. He honestly didn't know what to do, or what to say. He looked at the clock, it was a little after nine. He stood up, and headed out of the door…

Brenda was in the living room drinking wine, and reading a book. *doorbell* She looked at the time. "Who could that be?"

She got up, and walked over to the door. She looked out the peephole.

She opened the door. "Jax?" He had this blank look on his face. "Hey…is…everything….ok?"

"I need to talk to you."

"O…k." She moved aside, and let him enter. She closed the door, and followed him into the living room. "Would…you like something to drink?"

He turned. "No, thank you."

Brenda's eyes are on him. He walked over and picked up a picture of Lola. "Brenda, where did you adopt Lola?"

Her mouth dropped open. "What?"

He sat the picture down. "You heard me. What country?"

Brenda didn't respond.

Jax glared at her. "What did you have to tell me, that was so important? I think I want to know now."

She didn't say a word. He knew…..she could tell.

"The floor is yours Brenda." He sat down. "I am all ears." He had so much anger in his eyes.

She looked down. Her voice quivering. "How….did…you find out?"

"Find out what? I want to hear you say it."

Tears spilled onto her face. "Jax…please, I…."

"Jax, please what?"

"I'm….sorry."

"You are always sorry. But I want to hear you say it."

"Jax-"

"Just Say It."

Brenda looked into his eyes. "Lola…is…yours."

Tears made there way down his face. "Wow."

"Jax, I wanted to tell you myself."

He ignored her. "When did you find out….you were pregnant?"

"Right before the wedding."

"And you didn't think I'd want to know?"

"Jax, it was supposed to be your wedding present, but the wedding never happened. And…after you did what you did-"

"You decided that you would make me pay, by depriving me of my daughter….right?"

She didn't respond. Tears continued to make their way down her face.

"I know you're wondering how I found out." He held up his great grandmother's picture. "Looks like Lola doesn't she? She's my great grandmother. And no I had no clue. Lady Jane showed it to me. I mentioned in passing that you had adopted a child, and she was seven. She used her brain and put two and two together. She looked up a picture of you and Lola, which was very hard to find. I guess I should give you credit, for making sure you didn't take any pictures with her."

Brenda just stared at him.

"But back to my mother, she wasn't even sure if she had the right child, but since I know what she looks like, I told her she did. And that's when she showed me this picture. They look a lot a like don't they?"

"I'm…sorry Jax. I tried to tell you."

"Eight years too late."

"Jax, you can't blame me….especially after how you treated me."

"Be angry! But don't take my daughter away from me. I don't care what I did. I would have never done anything, like that to you. She is mine, just as much as she is yours."

"I know."

"How do I get those years back?"

"I don't know."

"Of course you don't know. I don't think you ever had any intentions of telling me, but I came to Rome, so you really had no choice. Because I would have, eventually figured it out."

Brenda remained silent.

Jax looked off for a moment, and then back at her. "Did you ever really care anything…at all about me?"

"Jax….of course I did, and do."

"I don't think you have ever really loved me."

"Jax, that's not true. I did love you, and I still do."

"No, I loved you, and spent a long time trying to show you." His head dropped, he looked so defeated. "Brenda, you were all I ever wanted in this world. And for years, I beat myself up, over what I did. I'll never beat myself up again. You…are selfish, and you always have been." She just stared at him. She didn't know what to say. Jax looked up at her. "Were you ever tempted to call…and tell me?"

"Yes, there were a lot of times."

"Well, why didn't you?"

"Because….I thought that you…would…try and take her."

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know…..because you were angry."

"I would never take her away from you, even if I could. And as far as the incident with Josslyn, Carly hung out with murderers, that's why I fought her for custody."

"I didn't know anything about that….Jax."

He grabbed Lola's picture. "I don't know why I didn't see it, she has my eyes. Look at her." He ran his hand across her picture. "I have a daughter….."

"Jax….."

"Brenda, shut up, I-." Jax's eyes moved to the figure, walking towards Brenda.

At that moment Lola walked out into the living room. "Mamma."

Brenda looked at Lola then Jax. And quickly walked over and picked her up. "Sweetheart, what are you doing up?"

"I heard….you talking." Lola looked over at Jax.

Jax didn't even know what to do, or say. He didn't want to scare her, so he didn't say a word.

Brenda kissed her on the cheek. "I'm sorry." She looked at Jax. "I'll….be back." She left, and stayed with Lola until she feel asleep, which didn't take that long. She walked back out, and found Jax still sitting on the sofa.

"Jax…..if…you would like to get to know her-."

"Of course, I want to get to know her, what kind of question is that?"

"I didn't mean….what I was trying to say, was-."

"I don't want to hear it Brenda." He stood up and glared at her. "I wish I never had to lay eyes on you again, but unfortunately I have to." He looked at her for a moment, as she wiped the tears away. "Cheer up, I'm sure some man will come along, and rescue you, but it won't be me. May God, have mercy on his soul." He walked over to the door, opened it and left.…...


	6. Too Much Has Happened

**No One Leaves…"Too Much Has Happened"**

It's the next morning, and Brenda has just gotten back, from taking Lola to school. She walked into her apt, and tossed her keys on a table by the door. She took off her shades, and tossed them too. Her eyes were red, from lack of sleep, and also from crying. She was in no shape to go anywhere, so she called and cancelled all of her meetings. She was physically, and emotionally exhausted. Brenda headed straight to her room, and crawled into bed. She didn't even bother opening her curtains. She just laid there in complete darkness. Eventually, she drifted off...

A couple hours later, Brenda heard her doorbell ringing. She tried to ignore it, but they wouldn't go away. She sighed, and got out of bed. She walked out into the living room, and headed over to the door. She looked out the peephole. She ran her fingers through her hair, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

She didn't say anything, she just moved to the side, and let him enter. Jax walked passed her, and into the living room. He didn't sit down, neither did she.

"Is Lola here?"

"No...she...has school."

"I wasn't sure if you...took her. But I need to talk to you."

"About what Jax?"

"I want to get a DNA test."

A stunned Brenda, stood there looking at him. "A DNA test? You know she's yours."

"Yes, I do, but legally she's not."

"Legally?"

"Yes, I would like to establish, my legal rights as her father."

"Jax...you don't have to do any of that. She is your child. I'll attest to that. I don't want her going through any of that."

"How big of you? I guess we should be grateful."

Brenda looked away. "I'm not looking for gratitude. It's just the right thing to do."

Jax glared at her. "The right thing to do?" He chuckled. She didn't say a word. Jax continued. "Brenda….how exactly did you, hide your pregnancy?"

"I went...to...Africa."

Jax nodded. "She was born there?"

"Yes."

Jax put his hands into his pockets. "And you told no one?"

Brenda dropped her head. "No."

Jax looked over at Lola's picture. "I have a child, who doesn't even...know me. And I don't even know, what to do about it."

Brenda looked up at him. "I...think-"

"You think? If you were thinking at all, you would have never kept her from me."

"Jax…..I'm sorry."

"You being sorry, does nothing to erase the last eight years! Don't you get that?"

A tear spilled over onto her cheek. "I know...if I could go back, I would do things differently, but I can't."

"No you wouldn't. Brenda only thinks of Brenda. You have always been a selfish, spoiled brat. And you think the world revolves around you. I slept with Sonny...sorry! I kissed Sonny...sorry! We have a child...sorry! You...think...only...of...yourself."

"No...I...don't."

"I beg to differ." He picked up Lola's picture. "I don't even know where to start. I am a stranger to her."

*silence* "Um...you could start...by spending time with her."

Jax ignored her. "She doesn't even know me."

"I know Jax. Maybe we could start with dinners, and move on from there."

He sat the picture down. "I really wish...I did not have to even be around you. You have no idea, how much I despise you."

"Yeah...I think I do."

He glared at her. "No, you don't. Look, just let me know...when I can come over."

"Jax...I-."

"I'm not interested in hearing, anything you have to say. Just let me know when." He walked passed her, opened the door and left.

Brenda closed her eyes, and sighed. She walked over and grabbed her phone. She dialed a number.

"Hello."

"Lois?"

Lois could tell something was wrong. "Brenda, is everything ok?"

Brenda started crying. "No."

"What's wrong?"

"I have done something really terrible."

"What?"

"Don't hate me."

"Brenda, now I'm scared. What did you do?"

"I've been lying."

"About what?"

"Lola."

"What's wrong with Lola?"

"Nothing…I don't know how to say it."

"Just say it Brenda!"

"She isn't adopted, she is mine and Jax's. And he has just, found out about it."

"Oh, Brenda…Brenda, Brenda, Brenda…..."

Brenda started sobbing. "Please, don't hate me Lois." *silence* "Lois?"

"I'm here. I don't hate you. To be honest, I always thought it was really weird, that you would adopt a child so quick, after that whole Jax wedding thingy."

"He's furious, and I don't know what to do?"

"Brenda, of course he is. Sweetheart, you are going to have to give him time. Does Lola know any of this?"

"No, of course not."

"And she shouldn't, until you two work everything out."

Brenda sighed. "I don't plan on telling her, at least no time soon."

Lois and Brenda spend the next couple of hours talking. Brenda felt a little better after talking to Lois, but it seemed that Lois was siding with Jax. Lois always did the right thing, so she really didn't understand, where Brenda was coming from. Brenda hung up the phone, and looked in the mirror. She looked a mess. She had to pull herself together…..

It's a couple of days later, and Brenda is on the way to her weekly ASEC meeting. She had no idea if Jax was going to be there. She actually prayed that he wouldn't be.

It had been a couple of days, since she had heard from him. She walked into the meeting, and sat down by Mickal.

Mickal nudged her. "Hello, haven't talked you into in awhile."

"Yeah, I've been busy."

Mickal noticed she wasn't her normal energetic self. "Are you ok?"

"Yes...I'm fine."

At that moment Jax walked in. Mickal noticed the change in her eyes. He looked over at Jax, then Brenda. He could tell that something, was definitely going on.

Susan walked in, and the meeting started. Brenda didn't even pay any attention to what she was saying, until she heard her name.

Suzanne was so pleased, with the success of the concert, she wanted Jax and Brenda to work on an upcoming art auction together.

"I think you two did a good job, getting the word out, and I would love, if you could do the same thing with this event."

Jax had no intensions of doing anything with Brenda. "Suzanne, as much as I loved working on the last event, I won't be able to devote the same amount of time. So, I'm going to have decline."

"Ok, well maybe next time." She looked at Michal. "Would you like to work on it?"

Mickal nodded. "Of course."

"Good." Suzanne continued on.

Brenda sat in silence. She didn't say a word throughout the whole meeting. As soon as the meeting was over, Brenda got up and left. Mickal grabbed his things and followed her. Jax didn't even look in her direction.

She went straight to the bathroom, with Mickal hard on her heels. Once inside, the flood gates opened, and she started sobbing.

Mickal threw his things on the counter, and locked the door. He rushed over to her. "Brenda, Sweetheart...what is going on?" She wrapped her arms, around him, and continued to cry. He stroked her hair. "What's wrong?"

She released him. "Everything."

He grabbed a tissue, and started cleaning her face. "Oh, Sweetheart. It cannot be that bad."

"Trust me it is."

"Well, let's get you out of here. We can go to my place...…..."

Mickal walked out of his kitchen, and handed Brenda a glass of wine. He sat down next to her. Brenda had filled him in on the way over.

She looked over at Mickal. "Tell me what to do, because I have no clue."

"You are going to pull yourself together, and stop letting him emotionally abuse you. He treated you like crap, why would you tell him anything? I not saying what you did was right, but under the circumstances...I understand. The man offered you money to leave town, just hours after telling you no, at the altar. And no, you shouldn't have kissed your ex, but he could have spoken with you before the ceremony."

Brenda drunk some of her wine. "My life is a mess."

"No, you have a beautiful daughter, that adores you. Think about her, and focus on that. I understand he is upset, but he has to take ownership, of the things he has done. You need to take a little time, to get yourself together. Because, you cannot bring all this negative energy, into your daughter's world. He can't act like that in front of Lola. She will end up hating him, trust me."

Brenda listened to everything Mickal said, and he was right. She had to take some time, and get herself together. And once she did that, she would have a talk with Jax...

Brenda took Lola away for the weekend. She just had to get out of Rome. They ended up going back to London. They did all the things, girls loved doing. They shopped, went to the spa, and ate at the finest restaurants. Lola really liked London, and was sad when they had to leave. Brenda was so relaxed, when she returned to Rome. She was not the crying mess, she was before. She knew she made a mistake, but she was done letting Jax put her down.

Brenda bathed Lola, read her a story, and put her to bed. She showered, and for the first time in days, pulled out her laptop. She started reading all her emails. All of a sudden, she remembered, she had turned off her cell phone, and disconnected her home phone. She got up and turned her cell phone back on, and plugged her home phone back in. Her cell phone, message alert signal, started going off. She listened to all, of her voice mail messages. They were mostly from her modeling agency, because her close friends, knew she had gone to London. She had one text message, it was from Jax. She opened it. "I've called you several times, I really need to talk to you." She deleted it. She would talk to him, but it wouldn't be tonight. She logged out of her computer, and headed into the kitchen. She made herself a sundae, and headed back into the living room. She sat down on the sofa, and turned on the television. She took her first bite, and her doorbell rung. She sat her bowl down, and headed over to the door. She didn't even bother looking out the peephole, she knew who it was. She opened the door, and Jax was standing in front of her.

"May I come in?"

Brenda wanted to say, hell no, because she really didn't feel like, getting into it with him. "Yeah."

He followed her in.

She turned, once they made it to the living room. Jax looked down at her ice cream. "I didn't mean, to interrupt."

"It's ok, I really didn't need it."

"I tried calling, but it went straight to the voicemail."

"I turned it off."

"Why?"

"I took Lola to London, and I just wanted to focus on her, without any outside distractions."

Jax looked over at her. "You needed to get away from me?"

"Yes, I did."

He nodded. "I'm sorry."

That caught Brenda off guard. "What?"

"I'm sorry, for speaking to you the way I have. I'm not saying, I agree with what you did, and I'm not still hurt, but...we can't change it. I realize, I have to let this anger go, and focus on getting to know Lola. And I can't do that…not the way I've been behaving."

Brenda took a deep breath, and slowly let it out. "I'm sorry Jax, but I'm a little shocked, I wasn't expecting this. What made you-."

"See things differently?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Lady Jane. She basically told me, that I am just as responsible, for the way things turned out. And I guess she is right. But most of all, I'm so grateful that I have a daughter, and time is just too precious, and I know that...because of Josslyn, I don't want to waste it…being angry with you. I just want to focus on Lola, that's all."

"Wow, I did not expect that. I must admit, I was really prepared to go to war with you tonight."

"Not interested in war."

"Can I please just slap your face, for being so mean to me?"

Jax looked up her. "And, what do you deserve, for keeping Lola from me….for eight long years?"

Brenda remained silent, because he had a point.

"Look Brenda, I am sorry for the things that I said. I say a lot of things, that I don't really mean, when I'm angry."

"You are really mean, when you are angry. Your words sting Jax. It's kind of how we ended up in this situation."

"I just would love to move on."

"Me too. I'm still kind of shocked, that you came to this conclusion so quickly."

"I've had time to think about things." Jax walked over to the window. "Losing Josslyn was devastating. And I'm still not over it. In fact, I doubt, I ever will be." He turned in her direction. "I am still angry that you kept this from me, but at the same time, I am so happy that I have this beautiful little angel. I just want to focus on getting to know her. Could we try having dinner, or something?"

"Of course, whatever you want Jax. As bad as you want to get to know Lola, that's how bad, I need to fix this situation, or at the least try and make it better."

"Ok." *silence* "I know it's late, so I'll leave." Jax started walking towards the door. He opened it, then turned facing her. "How is Lola?"

"She's fine, she had a good time in London."

"Good. Talk to you later."

"Bye….Jax."

Brenda closed and locked the door. "Wow….I did not expect that..."

**Part 2**

Brenda did call Jax, and they decided to get together for dinner. They thought it would be better if they went out, instead of having it at her place. Brenda was really nervous, because this was the first time, that Jax was going to be around Lola. Yes, he had seen her, but for no more than a couple of minutes. Lola had no idea what was going on, she was just happy to be going out.

Jax sent a car to pick them up. Brenda didn't understand why the needed a car, but she just decided to just go along with it.

They arrived at the restaurant, and was shown to their table. Jax stood up, when he saw them approaching.

Brenda could tell Jax was nervous, she could see it in his eyes. She smiled.

"Hello."

He smiled. "Hello, Brenda."

Brenda looked down at Lola. "Do you remember Jax?"

"Yes, hello."

Jax smiled at his daughter. "Hi there."

They take their seats. Brenda felt, it was her obligation, to make things as comfortable for the two of them. But Lola was in the mood to talk, so she didn't have to do much.

"Mamma brings me here a lot."

"She does?'

"Yes, It's my favorite restaurant."

Jax already knew that, that's why they chose it. They wanted her to feel at ease. He looked over at Lola. "So, what do you think I should order?"

She smiled. "The meatballs, they are fantastic."

Jax smiled, and closed his menu. "Well, meatballs it is."

Brenda had no idea what to expect, but dinner went better than expected. It helped that Lola, wasn't shy. She told Jax, all about her violin, and how much she loved to play it. He asked her about school, and she told him all about that too. Lola seemed to be at ease with Jax. Brenda could instantly see, how great of a father he must have been to Josslyn, and Carly's children. He knew just how to handle her. She'd never had the privilege, of seeing Jax, as a father. When they were together, it was just the two of them, no children. She could tell Lola was enjoying, all the attention, because she wouldn't stop talking. At the end of dinner, Jax pulled out a box, and sat it on the table. Lola looked down at it, then at Jax.

He smiled. "This is for you."

She looked at her mom. She wasn't supposed to accept anything from strangers. Brenda told her it was ok. She reached over and grabbed it. She opened it. It was a little charm bracelet.

Lola's eyes lit up. "Grazie."

"You're welcome."

They finished dessert and got ready to leave. Jax walked them to their waiting car. Brenda put Lola inside.

"I think everything went well."

Brenda nodded. "I do too."

"How soon can I see her again?"

"I don't think we should overdo it. Maybe at the end of the week?"

"Ok, and I agree."

"Well, goodnight Jax."

"Goodnight. He leaned down. "Goodbye Lola."

"Bye Jax!"

Brenda got into the car, and Jax watched as it drove off...

Over the next couple of months, Jax had become a constant presence in Lola's life. They had actually become, very comfortable around each other. Jax was constantly showering her with gifts. Not just gifts, but expensive gifts. Brenda really didn't like it, but didn't want to say anything. But it had gotten really bad. Brenda decided to have a talk with him.

One day she invited him over. She opened the door, and could not believe it. He had another gift. It was a new violin, and it looked expensive. Lola was ecstatic of course. Brenda knew, she definitely had to talk to him. Lola ran over by the window, and started playing it.

Jax looked over at her smiled. "I think she likes it."

"Yeah." Brenda looked over at him. "Jax, I need to talk to you."

"Ok, what's wrong?"

"I think...you, should slow down on the gifts."

"Why?"

"Jax, you are spoiling her."

"So."

"Jax, you know it is terrible to spoil a child."

"Not my child."

Brenda sighed. "You are buying her, too many expensive things."

He looked over at Lola. "She deserves it."

"Jax, you don't have to buy her gifts, she likes you for you."

"I just missed out on so much. And I know she has no clue, who I am. But I do. And I'm sorry if you feel, as if I'm giving her too much. But I'm just making up for lost time. I just want her to love me, like I already love her."

Brenda's heart dropped. She really didn't know what to say after that.

Lola stopped playing. "Did you like that one, Jax?"

"Yes, Sweetheart. You play beautifully."

Lola started back playing.

Jax looked over at Brenda. "I'll try to tone it down."

"It's fine Jax."

"No, you are right."

"No, it's fine." He had missed so many years of her life, if he wanted to spoil his daughter, he should be able to…...

It had almost been six months since Jax, found about Lola. And everything was going pretty good. He spent as much time as he could with her. Lola still didn't know he was her father. They didn't feel like the time was right, so they decided to wait a little while longer, before telling her.

Jax was not only spending a lot of time, with Lola, he was also spending a lot of time with Brenda. There were quite a few times, when he stayed late, but nothing ever happened between them. They were really just focusing on Lola...

One day after an ASEC meeting, Mickal and Brenda decided to grab lunch. They went to a restaurant that was close by. They had just sat down, when Mickal spotted Jax walking in.

"Your baby daddy just walked in."

Brenda looked over at Mickal. "What?"

"Jax...he just walked in."

"Where?"

Mickal quickly pointed. "Over there, with that tall Blonde."

Brenda looked over her shoulder. She spotted Jax, with a pretty blonde. She turned back around, and took a sip of water. "Maybe a business partner."

Mickal shook his head. "Doubt that. They are holding hands."

"What?" Brenda stole a quick glance. And they were holding hands. "Good for him."

Mickal could tell it bothered Brenda. "She's pretty, but you are gorgeous."

Brenda smiled. "Thanks, but it's fine. I'm happy for him."

"He didn't tell you?"

"No, we only discuss Lola."

"Well, let's forget we ever saw him."

"Can we please?"

"Of course."

They ate their meal, and talked about everything, except Jax. Brenda tried to eat as slow as possible, she was hoping they would leave first, but they were eating slower than she was. After taking care of the check, Brenda and Mickal, prepared to leave. And they had to walk right passed Jax's table.

As Brenda walked through the tables, Jax looked up and spotted her.

She wanted to pretend like she didn't see him, but she couldn't do that. Their table, was on the way out. They walked up to the table. "Hello, Jax."

"Brenda...Mickal."

Mickal waived. "Hey."

Jax looked up at Brenda. "Seems like we had the same idea?"

Brenda smiled. "Seems like it."

Jax remembered his date. "Pardon my terrible manners. This is Sasha Ivanov. Sasha this is Brenda, and Mickal."

Sasha smiled. "Hello."

Brenda smiled. "Hi. Russian?"

"Yes."

"How long have you been in Rome?"

"I come here on business, a couple times a month."

"Lovely." She looked over at Jax. "We were just saying hello, We don't want to take up to much of your time, see you later, and nice meeting you Sasha."

Sasha smiled. "You too."

Brenda and Mickal leave...

It's later on that night, and Brenda had just read Lola a bedtime story. "Ok, it's time for bed."

"Why didn't Jax come and see me today?"

"Maybe he'll come over tomorrow."

"Ok."

Brenda kissed her forehead. "Nite."

"Nite Mamma." Lola closed her eyes. Brenda stayed until, her breathing deepened. She picked up her toys, placed them in the toy box, and left.

Brenda was taking a bubble bath, when she heard the doorbell. "Damn it all to hell." She got out of the tub, and threw her robe on. She looked out the peephole, then opened the door.

"Jax? What are you doing here?" (I thought you'd be out, banging that Russian blonde.)

"May I come in?" He looked her over. "You aren't busy are you?"

"No, come in."

They head into the living room. He turned. "Lola sleep?"

"Yes, she asked about you."

Jax's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah...she was wondering, why you didn't come over today."

He smiled. "I'll come over tomorrow, if that's ok."

"Of course it is."

"Brenda, I came over, because I wanted to talk….about Sasha."

"Jax, you don't owe me any explanations. That's your business, not mine."

"I feel like we've never really….talked about us."

"There really isn't anything to talk about. We tried, and it just wasn't in the cards." Brenda shook her head. "Too much has happened."

Jax nodded. "Yeah, a lot has happened.". Jax put his hands into his pockets, and looked into her eyes. "Nobody leaves."

Brenda shrugged. "It sounded simple enough."

Jax smiled. "Yeah. But life isn't that simple."

"No it isn't." Brenda looked away, then back at him. "Jax, I'm sorry, I couldn't be everything you deserved. And I really do hope, you find the right person for you. I mean it."

"I feel the same way."

Brenda grinned. "And Jax, you really have to stop coming over here this late, or I'm never going to be able to keep a man."

He smiled. "I'm sorry."

"I was just joking."

Their eyes lock for a moment. They both look away. Jax notices her hair is wet. "Were you in the shower?"

"No, bubble bath."

"I ruined it didn't I?"

She grinned. "Kinda sorta."

"Sorry." He started walking towards the door. He opened it, then turned and looked at her. "No more late night visits, I promise."

Brenda laughed. "Jax, I was just kidding."

Jax looked at her briefly. "Nite."

"Nite." She closed the door. Jax stood there for a moment, and so did Brenda. She held onto the knob, He stared at the numbers on her door. He wanted so much to go back in. She wanted so much to stop him. (Too much has happened) She pulled her hand back. He started down the hall...


	7. Closure

**No One Leaves…..."Closure"**

Over the next couple of months, Brenda watched Lola and Jax's relationship blossom. He adored her, and she adored him. He took Brenda's advice, and slowed on the gift giving. It didn't seem to matter one bit, because what he didn't bring in gifts, he brought in love and affection. And on top of that, Lola thought he was the best thing, since popsicles. She obviously didn't know why, Jax spent so much time with her. She was actually too young to care. She knew she liked him, and to her that's all that mattered.

Brenda and Jax are at Lola's violin recital. The children come out, one after the other. Finally, it is Lola's turn. She looked so pretty, in her white lace dress. She's wearing the necklace Brenda bought for her, and the charm bracelet, Jax had given her. Jax and Brenda's eyes are glued to the stage. They watch closely as she begins. They follow every note. After she finishes, they clap, and Jax whistles. Brenda bumped him with her elbow, and whispered. "This is not a football game. Clapping is fine."

He looked over at her laughed. "Sorry couldn't help myself."

That warning came a little too late, people were already looking at them.

"See, what you did, these people think we are trash."

"I don't care, that's my daughter."

She smiled, and looked over at him. "Yes, she is.…..."

After the recital, Jax took them to dinner.

Brenda rubbed Lola's head. "You did so good! I am so proud of you." She leaned over and kissed her cheek. Lola giggled.

Jax chimed in. "You sure did. The best of the night. In fact, those other kids, didn't stand a chance."

Brenda looked over at him. She mouthed the words. "Don't say that."

He shrugged, then his blue eyes fell back on Lola. "So, what kind of dessert would you like?"

"Si torts!"

Jax smiled. "Cake it is." Jax ordered a huge cake, with a mountain of ice cream on top, drizzled in fudge, caramel, whipped cream, and nuts.

After the waiter placed it on the table. Brenda stared at it. "She can't eat all of that."

Lola grabbed a spoon. "Yes I can!"

Jax laughed. "We are going to share it. Want some?"

Brenda shook her head. "I'll pass."

Jax grabbed a spoon. "Suit yourself." He looked down at Lola. "You take that side, and I'll take this one."

Lola smiled. "Ok, let's race."

Brenda intervened. "No racing."

Jax agreed. "You might get sick."

Lola grinned. "You're just scared."

Jax nodded, and touched her nose. "Yes, I am."

They start eating the huge dessert, as Brenda looked on. They didn't even make it halfway through.

Brenda laughed. "I knew you two wouldn't be able to eat it."

Jax looked over at Lola. "Have you given up?"

"Have you Jax?"

"Yes."

She nodded. "Me too."

Brenda and Jax laugh. Jax took care of the check and they head home. Brenda bathed Lola, and tucked her in. Jax went in briefly to tell her good night.

Brenda and Jax are in the living room, sitting on the sofa.

"Brenda, I have a question."

"Ok?"

"Why do you still bathe her? She's eight."

Brenda laughed. "Because she is still my baby. And I don't bathe her every night, just sometimes when she's tired."

Jax grinned. "Liar." They both laugh. The smile left his face. "Brenda, I think it's time we told Lola."

Her eyes widen. "Are you ready?"

"I don't think I'll ever be completely ready, but she needs to know."

"I agree. Are you nervous?"

"Yes."

"She adores you Jax."

"Trust me the feeling is mutual."

"When would you like to tell her?"

"I was thinking, maybe we could take a mini vacation. Nice tropical place, with lots to do."

"Ok, whatever you want."

"Maybe after the art auction?"

Brenda nodded. "That would be perfect."

Jax stood up. "Well, I'll let you get some sleep."

She stood up. "Thanks for dinner."

"You're welcome, thanks for inviting me."

They walk over to the door, say their goodbyes, and he leaves...

The next few weeks flew by, and it's finally the night of the art auction. Brenda is in her room, applying the final touches. She chose an elegant white gown. The gown looked as if it was painted on. It had long sleeves, and a mock turtleneck. The back had a huge hole, exposing the majority of her back.

Mona is sitting in a chair, and Lola is sitting in the middle of her bed, playing her violin.

Brenda slid her bracelet on. "So girls, how do I look?"

Mona smiled. "Lovely."

Lola stopped playing. "Beautiful."

"Awww...thanks."

Lola stood up in the bed. "Is Jax coming to pick you up?"

"No…..He is not."

She plopped back down. "Why? He's not going?"

"He'll be there."

"Well, why couldn't you go together?"

"Because..."

"Because why?"

"Just because. Enough with the questions." She walked over to her, and kissed her forehead. "I have to go, be good."

Mona stood up. "Isn't she always?"

"I hope so, but I have this sneaking suspicion you wouldn't tell me." She looked over at Lola, then back at Mona. "She has you wrapped around her little finger."

"Yes she does, but she's a darling. I might let her have an extra bowl of ice cream sometimes, but that's about it."

Brenda smiled. "Really?"

Mona laughed. They walk Brenda to the door, and she leaves...

Brenda is at the art auction. She had gotten so use to these events, she was really a pro at them. She knew she had to mingle, and make sure people knew, that they were there to help the needy children. This was important, because some people would forget, and treat it as a social gathering. She had to make sure, the children, were always front and center.

A couple hours have passed, and Mickal and Brenda decided to grab a drink, and chat for a moment. Mickal looked up and saw Jax entering. He was with Sasha.

"There's one half of Lola."

Brenda sipped her champagne. "What?"

"Jax, and he brought Katerina Witt with him."

"Who?"

"The Russian ice skater."

Brenda laughed. She turned and spotted Jax and Sasha. "Her name is Sasha….remember?"

Mickal drunk the rest of his champagne. "Who cares? Let's go over and sell her a couple of things. I'm sure we can get her to buy something."

"She wouldn't have to buy anything, Jax would buy it for her." Brenda looked over at them. Jax looked so nice, in his perfectly tailored tux. He was so damn good looking.

Mickal looked over at them, then at Brenda. "You're not jealous are you?"

Brenda shook her head. "Of course not. That shipped has sailed and sunk."

"Good, and I think you need to go on a date. Find some nice gorgeous guy, to treat you like a queen. Please let me set you up?"

"I don't know about that."

"Come on Brenda. I promise he'll be great."

She looked over at Jax, who was staring at a painting. Sasha whispered something in his ear. He laughed, looked into her eyes, and touched her hair. Brenda looked away. "Ok, Mickal, just please make sure he's nice."

Mickal smiled. "And don't forget sexy."

She grinned. "And Sexy…..."

Brenda was talking to a couple, who had just purchased a number of pieces, when Jax walked over. She excused herself.

"Hello, Jax."

"Brenda. You look stunning."

"Thanks. You look nice too."

"You've really been busy tonight."

"Yes, sometimes the money just pours in. Then there are those times, when you have to work for it. Tonight was one of those nights. Momma had to work hard for the money." Jax grinned. Brenda looked around. "Where is your date?"

"She had to make a phone call."

"Oh. Did she purchase anything?"

"A couple of paintings."

Brenda grinned. "Did she purchase them, or did you?"

Jax smiled. "She wanted to, but I couldn't let her pay for them, not when I was right there."

"Hey, I'm not complaining, at least they got purchased."

"That is the goal."

"Yes, it is."

"Brenda, I came over, because I needed to talk to you, it's concerning our trip."

"Ok."

"I think we should go to Disneyworld, as in Orlando Fl."

Brenda was totally caught off guard, by that suggestion. "Really?"

"Has Lola ever been?"

"No, we've been to a lot of different, unique places, but never…..Disneyworld."

"Good, I think it will be a fun experience for us all."

Brenda sarcastically remarked. "Jax, You've never been to Disneyworld?"

"No, I...never got around to taking Josslyn." The smile left her face. Jax continued. "And how does a three bedroom, three bath villa sound?"

"Fine, and we can split the costs. I insist."

"Brenda, no we cannot. I've always paid, And I'll continue to pay."

"But Jax, we are co-parenting-"

"No, we are not. That won't happen until after we talk to Lola."

"Jax, you have been involved in every aspect of her life, since you found out. We are co-parenting. But back to my point. I don't think you should pay for everything, we aren't together."

"And that means what?"

"It means we aren't together, and it's not your responsibility. Next you'll be trying to pay for my apt."

"Since you brought it up, I think I should, since Lola is living there."

"Jax, are you serious?"

"Yes, I am."

She giggled, and shook her head. She saw Sasha walking over. "No, I'm paying for my own place. I'll talk to you later, your lady friend is on the way over."

"So Orlando is fine?"

"It's fine, and I am splitting the costs. Bye." Brenda walked passed Sasha. "Hello."

Sasha smiled. "Lovely to see you again."

Sasha walked up to Jax. "Should I be jealous?"

Jax smiled. "Of course not. I need to tell you something, just not here."

"Ok. Let's say our goodbyes, and we can discuss it after we make love."

He grinned. "Do we have to say goodbye?"

"No..."

Brenda was talking to a couple of representatives from ASEC, when she spotted Jax, and Sasha leaving.

"Brenda, did you hear me? Brenda?"

"I'm sorry Susan, what did you say?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I think you should head home, you've worked really hard on this project. We are done, I'll handle the rest."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Ok." Brenda said her goodbyes, and left...

Brenda is at home in bed. She's having trouble sleeping. She got up, and went out onto the balcony. She looked up at the stars. She couldn't stop thinking about Jax, but she knew she had to. They were over and done with. There was no future with him.

Brenda sighed. "I bet he isn't thinking about me. He is probably screwing Katerina Witt…."

Jax stood in front of the window, looking out into the night sky. He was doing everything he could, to move on with his life. He was dating a beautiful, and smart woman. He looked over at Sasha, who was sleeping. She was everything, that he could ever want. He turned and looked in the sky, except she wasn't Brenda. But that was over. There was no way, they could ever be, not after what happened. It was best that they kept things, as they were…for Lola's sake.

"Jax, are you ok?"

He turned. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Come back to bed."

He walked back over, and got back into bed...

**Part 2**

Brenda, Jax, and Lola are on Jax's private plane, headed to FL. They've been on the plane for almost eight hours. Lola is asleep.

"Jax, I never pictured you as the Disneyworld type."

Jax laughed. "What type am I?"

"I don't know, I just never pictured you, standing in the middle of some theme park...in your suit."

"How many have I seen you in?"

She grinned. "Actually, I have been to a couple."

"I bet, they were nothing like Disneyworld."

Brenda grinned. "No. How exactly, did you come up with Disneyworld?"

"This trip is all about Lola, and I thought she'd really enjoy it. And I wanted to bring her to the original one, not the one in France."

Brenda leaned back. "No knock offs for you." They laugh. Brenda continued. "But, yeah, I think she'll enjoy it too. So, when should we tell her?"

"I don't know. I'm not even sure, how she will feel about it." He looked over at Lola, who was stretched out, in the seat across from them.

"She adores you Jax."

He looked over at Brenda. "Yes, she likes me, but that doesn't mean, she wants me as her father."

"It's not like she has an option, you are her father, and I think she'll be overjoyed."

"I hope so." Jax leaned back and closed his eyes.

Brenda looked out the window. She hoped and prayed, that Lola would be fine with everything, after all it was her fault.

Lola opened her eyes. She'd heard the whole conversation. She wasn't eavesdropping, because her mamma told her that was rude, she just happened to be waking up. She looked over at Jax, who was sleeping. Then at her mamma, who was looking out of the window. Lola smiled and closed her eyes...

They had finally made it to Florida. The villa was so beautiful. Surprisingly, no one was tired, because they slept on the plane.

There were three bedrooms, but Lola insisted on staying in the same room as Brenda.

Jax was getting settled, and changed. Brenda and Lola were in their room doing the same.

Brenda was in the bathroom, getting dressed, when Lola came in.

"Mamma, Is Jax my Papa?"

Brenda stopped what she was doing, and looked down at Lola. "What...did you say?"

"Is Jax my Papa? I heard you tell him that, on the plane."

Brenda sat down, on the side of the tub. "I...We didn't want you to find out like that." She grabbed Lola's hand, and picked her up, placing her on her lap. "Yes, Sweetheart he is your Papa."

"My real Papa?"

"Yes, your real father. Sweetheart, he didn't know you were his. But he knows now, and he wants to be apart of your life." Brenda stared into her little blue eyes. "How do you feel about that?"

Lola smiled. "My wish came true."

"What wish?"

"My birthday wish. Before I blew out the candles, on my birthday cake, Jax told me to make a wish. And I wished he was my Papa."

Tears filled Brenda's eyes. At that moment, she felt so guilty. She had no right to keep Lola from Jax.

Lola reached up, and wiped her mother's face. She had never seen her mother cry. "Mamma, don't cry."

"I'm sorry Sweetheart." She wiped her face.

"Are you sad?"

"No, well yes, and I'm feeling bad, because I didn't tell Jax that you were his little girl. See he didn't know about you, that's why he wasn't around….when you were really little. It's not his fault it is mine. And it's perfectly fine, if you are upset."

"I'm not upset. I'm happy, because my wish came true."

"Well, I think we should tell Jax, what do you think?"

Lola nodded...

Jax was in the living room, waiting on Brenda and Lola. He stood up, when he heard them entering.

He noticed quickly that Brenda's eyes were red. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. She knows."

He looked down at Lola, and back up at Brenda. "She knows?"

Brenda nodded. "She heard us talking on the airplane."

Jax didn't know what to say. But he knew he had to say something. "Lola, are you ok, with me being your father?"

She smiled. "It was my birthday wish. You said if I didn't tell anyone, it would come true, and it did."

Jax didn't see that one coming. "Wow…..Um…Sweetheart, I promise to make up, for all the time I've missed."

Lola exclaimed. "Me too!"

Jax grinned, walked over and hugged her, as Brenda looked on...

After grabbing something to eat, they headed back to the villa. They were just too tired, to even think about doing anything else. They needed to recover from the trip over.

Lola fell asleep in the car. Jax took her into Brenda's room, and placed her in the bed.

Brenda was sitting on the sofa, when Jax came out. He sat down, in one of the chairs. "She is out."

"Yeah, I don't know what made us think, we didn't need to rest. I really felt it after we ate."

"Me too, must have been the adrenaline, that had us fooled."

"Yeah." Brenda looked over at him. "I guess everything went better than expected."

Jax nodded. "It went a little too smoothly. I'm not complaining. I am definitely not complaining."

"I think if she was older, she would have really been upset with me."

"Not necessarily. Maybe she would have been upset with me, for the whole wedding situation."

Brenda stood up. "Or the both of us? Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, a glass of wine."

"Do we even have any?"

"Yes, I called ahead, and had them stock the fridge, with a few essentials."

Brenda grinned. "And wine is an essential?"

Jax smiled. "Just like eggs and milk."

She laughed and headed into the kitchen.

Brenda came back out, handed him the glass, and sat back down. "So what now?"

Jax took a sip. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, now she knows. So, what now?"

"I would love to start spending time alone with her. She is use to all of us being together, I think she should get use to us being apart too."

Brenda nodded. "I agree."

"And Brenda, it would be just us, no one else. I wouldn't bring Sasha around. She needs to get use to me first."

"But you'd introduce her later?"

"I don't know."

"You've have been seeing her for awhile now."

"Yes, I have."

Brenda could tell Jax was starting to get uncomfortable. "Jax, it's ok. I think it's wonderful, you've moved on."

He looked up at her. "Do you?"

She sighed. "Of course. I'll always care for you, but it just wasn't in the cards for us. We tried."

"Yeah." *silence*

Brenda changed the subject. "I'm a little nervous about this little theme park adventure."

"Why?"

"Isn't Disneyworld, supposed to be the happiest place on earth?"

"Something like that."

"That frightens me. There is only so much happiness I can take."

Jax laughed. "I think we should get some sleep, we have a long day ahead of us."

"Yes, we do. Mickey, Donald, and Goofy…oh my!"

They both laugh, and stand up.

Jax reached over, and grabbed her glass. "I'll put this away."

"Ok. Nite, Jax."

"Nite."

Brenda leaves and heads to her bedroom...

It's the next day...Jax, Brenda, and Lola are all at the theme park. They went to Magic Kingdom first, and Lola was having the time of her life. Brenda had to admit, it wasn't all that bad. There was so much to see, and so much to do. They spent the whole day at the park. They felt like a real family. For awhile they got lost in it.

After leaving the park they headed home. Lola was exhausted. She took a bath, and went to sleep. After Lola fell asleep, Brenda bathed, and headed out into the kitchen. Jax was in the living room, on the phone. He didn't see her. She could still hear him in the kitchen. She tried not to eavesdrop, but she couldn't help herself. She poured herself a glass of wine, and leaned back against the counter.

Jax got up, and walked over to the sliding door. He looked out onto the golf course. Sasha questioned him. "How is everything?"

"Very well. Lola seems to be enjoying it."

"That's wonderful. And you return in six days?"

"Yes, there are quite a few theme parks, and we plan on seeing them all."

"I guess, I'll have to submerge myself in my work, until you return." She sighed. "I miss you terribly."

Jax smiled. "Me too."

"Do you really Jasper?"

"Of course Sasha."

"I think we should talk about our relationship, when you return."

"Are you trying to break up with me?"

"Never, I'm trying to hold onto you. I just would love to discuss our future, whatever it may be."

"Ok."

"Well, I'll let you go, dream about me."

"I will. Good night."

"Good night."

He disconnected the call, and headed into the kitchen. Jax was shocked to see Brenda, sitting on top of the counter.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"I heard you on the phone….I didn't want to interrupt, so I decided to wait it out."

Jax shook his head. "You didn't have to do that." He grabbed a glass, and filled it with wine. He took a sip. "Today was successful, don't you think?"

She nodded. "Yes, it was. And it wasn't all that bad. Especially, you wearing those mouse ears. Now, that was a treat."

Jax smiled, and leaned back on the counter. "That place just does something to you. It is the happiest place on earth."

Brenda laughed. "It sure is. But I'm glad we came, because Lola is really having the time of her little life."

"And that makes it all worth while."

Brenda drunk some of her wine. "Yes it does."

"Brenda, I'm glad we are in a better place. I feel like we are working together, and I appreciate how much you include me in Lola's life."

"You are her father."

"Yes, but you could have made things difficult, but you haven't."

"Jax, I have made things difficult, because you didn't even know she was here. I'm just trying…..to make up….for everything."

He looked over at her. "Me too."

Brenda drunk the last of her wine. She looked over at Jax, and realized he wasn't wearing a shirt. "Where is your shirt?"

Jax looked down. "What?"

"Your shirt, it's missing."

"No it's not. You know, I don't sleep in shirts."

"You're not sleeping."

Jax smiled. "Is it bothering you?"

Brenda jumped down. "Of course not. You're bird chest has never bothered me." She walked out of the kitchen. (Like hell it didn't. Jax was gorgeous. His body was perfect. Not too buff, just long and lean.) She sighed, and headed into the room, she shared with Lola.

Brenda had just gotten into bed, when she heard a knock at her door. She looked over at Lola, who was still sleeping. A couple of seconds later, the door opened. She sat up. Jax walked in. "What's a bird chest?"

Brenda started giggling. "I was joking Jax, it was just a joke. You do not have a bird chest."

"What is a bird chest?"

"It's a chest with no definition."

Jax looked down, and smiled. "Oh, you're right, definitely not me."

She laughed, and he left…...

**Part 3**

Brenda, Jax, and Lola spent the next few days, hitting up all the theme parks. By the fourth day, they were all theme parked out. They decided to spend their last day relaxing.

Brenda was relaxing by the pool, while Jax and Lola horse played. She didn't know where they got their energy. Lola giggled, as Jax pretended to be a killer shark. Brenda had to practically drag them out of the pool.

Jax ordered some food for lunch, and they all sat in the living room and ate, while watching TV.

Lola's hair was in two braids, and one came undone. Brenda called her over, and she sat down in her lap. "Did you have fun this week?"

"Yes, mamma, I had a lovely time. I wish it could stay like this forever."

Brenda smiled. "We'll come back."

"No, I wish we all could live together, and be a family."

Jax stopped eating, and looked over at them.

Brenda looked at him briefly, then back at Lola. "We are a family."

"Well, why don't you and Jax get married? Don't you love him?"

Brenda swallowed hard. "Ahh...Of course I care about Jax, and he cares about me. Just not in the way, people do, when they get married."

"Why not?"

"We just don't. But we are still a family, because we both love, and care about you."

Jax smiled. "Yes, we do."

"But we won't live together?"

Jax shook his head. "No, but I'll be in Rome, so we can see each other anytime we want. Ok?"

Lola nodded. "Ok."

Jax decided to change the subject. "Cake time." Jax got up, and headed into the kitchen, with Lola following.

They didn't feel like staying in after all, so they decided to spend the rest of the day, in downtown Disney, which was much tamer than going to one of the theme parks. They did a lot of shopping, and had their final dinner in Orlando.

It's late, and Lola has just gotten ready for bed. Before going to sleep, she ran out into the living room, to say goodnight to Jax. After returning, she read one of one of her new books, and went to sleep. Brenda gathered up their things, and headed out into the living room to pack. Jax offered her help.

"No, I think I can managed, and plus I don't want you touching my underwear." She winked at him, and grinned.

He plopped down on the sofa. "It's only fun, when their on you."

Brenda picked up a pillow, and threw it at him. "Have you packed?"

"I never really unpacked." He looked on, as she folded Lola's clothes. "Brenda, I'm really glad we came on this trip."

"Me too. I think the past is the past, and although we haven't forgotten anything, we aren't dwelling on it either. We needed this."

Jax nodded.

Brenda stopped folding clothes. "Wait a minute, you seem to be a little too calm. Are you planning on killing me?"

Jax smiled and shook his head. "Not tonight."

"Tomorrow?"

"Never!"

She grinned. "Good, I got a little worried."

"Maybe I should be worried?"

"I wouldn't kill you, because it would simply, break Lola's heart."

Jax laughed. "I guess I should be grateful Lola is here."

"Yes, you should..."

Brenda has finished packing, and her and Jax, have just finished off a whole bottle of wine.

Brenda was drunk, and Jax wasn't that far behind. Jax sat on one end of the couch, and Brenda sat on the other.

Brenda pulled her knees to her chest. "As much fun as I've had, I have overdosed on all things Disney."

"You don't like Mickey?"

"He's wonderful, I just prefer small doses of him."

Jax laughed. *silence*

"Jax, do you really think I'm selfish?"

"Sometimes, but not lately. You're work with ASEC is amazing. I just think you've made some selfish choices, as it pertains to our life together. And not just the situation with Lola, although, that's the most selfish one. But I've had my moments too." Jax looked in her direction. "I don't think we should be talking about this, we are in a good place, just leave it alone."

"Yes we are, but I think it's good to talk about it. I feel like there is a lot we don't talk about."

"Yes, but it's for the best. Just leave it alone, Brenda."

"No, Jax. I know I did something really terrible, and I know you are still angry about it. You just hide it well."

"I'm not angry."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not! I told you, I'm so grateful to have Lola, I'm too busy focusing on the present, to worry about the past."

"Including us?"

Jax's blue eyes, look into her brown eyes. "Brenda, you've had too much to drink."

"So have you."

"Yeah, but you are going to regret this conversation in the morning. So, I won't entertain it."

"Entertain it, please."

"Why should I? We are over, so much as happened. You know it, I know it. And what is the point of this conversation?"

"Closure."

"It's fine Brenda, and we don't need to talk about it. We don't need closure."

"Do you hate me?"

"No."

"Good, because I don't hate you."

Jax nodded, and got up. He knew he should leave, because it was the wine talking, not her. He definitely knew, after that last question. "I'm going to bed. Nite Brenda."

Her eyes followed him...

Jax was in bed, trying to sleep, but he couldn't. Brenda was right. Yes, she was drunk, and had no idea what she was talking about. But she was right. There was still a lot that needed to be said. He just didn't want to discuss it, not while she was drunk. Jax flipped over onto his stomach, and stared out into the moonlit sky. He eventually closed his eyes….

Brenda opened the door, and went inside, closing it behind her. She looked down at Jax. He must have sensed her or something, because he turned and looked up at her. "Brenda, we can talk tomorrow, on the plane, when we are sober."

She pulled her shirt over her head, and tossed it.

Jax sat up. "Bren-."

"Jax, just be quiet." She sat down on the bed, reached up, and touched his cheek. "I just need closure, that's all. We both do."

"And this is how we get it?"

"I don't know, but it will help me tonight."

"Brenda, put your shirt back on."

"You put it back on." She leaned over and gently pressed her lips against his. He knew it was bad idea, and he should stop her. He just couldn't, because he still loved her. She moved her lips against his, while staring into his eyes. His hands reluctantly moved up her torso, until they find what they are seeking. He removed her bra, and took her buds in between his fingers, and teased them until they hardened. By this time the kiss had deepened. He slid his hand up the nape of her neck, holding her there. She reached down, and slid her hand in his pajama pants. She felt him grow. She moved her hand, up and down his length. Jax closed his eyes, as she made her way down to his neck. She pushed him back onto the bed, then stood up, and helped him out of his pants. He sat up, and pulled her shorts down her thighs. She straddled him, easing herself on him. They both let out deep moans. She slowly moved her hips against him, while staring into his eyes. Jax bent down, and took her chest into his mouth, causing her moans to get louder. He moved back up, and kissed her, in an attempt at silencing her. He stood up, with her still wrapped around his waist. She held on, as he took over and started making love to her. She moaned his name, as her body exploded. Jax placed her on the bed, without disconnecting their bodies. He kissed her forehead, and continued to love her. Eventually, she felt his speed increase, and his body go deeper into hers. He moaned her name. She threw her head back, as she felt his warm release, and he felt hers. Jax kissed her, and they fell asleep...

It's the next morning, and Brenda is just waking up. She looked down, and realized she is in bed with Jax, and his head is resting on her chest. She shook him. "Jax...Jax...Jax!"

He jumped, looked up at her, and quickly sat up.

Brenda pulled the sheet up, in an attempt at covering her naked body. Brenda stared at him. "Say something."

"What would you like me to say?"

"I don't know. Tell me….I'm dreaming. Just…tell…me…I…am…dreaming!"

"I don't think so."

Brenda shoved him. "Jax, why did you let this happen?"

Jax couldn't believe she said that. "Are you serious? You came into my room."

She tried to get up, while pulling the sheet with her. "Get up!"

Jax jumped up.

Brenda pulled the sheet off the bed, and wrapped it around her. She picked up her clothes, and went into the bathroom. A couple a minutes later, she came back out. Jax was still standing there…..naked.

"Jax, put some clothes on!"

"Brenda, are you on acid? Because this was your idea."

"You should have stopped me! Listen let's pretend like this never, ever happened. I won't mention it again, neither will you. Everything is perfect for Lola, and I don't want to mess it up. And we always mess it up. Please, can we just forget this?"

Jax shrugged. "Yeah...sure."

"Good...well I'm leaving."

"Ok." Jax picked up her bra. "You're forgetting this."

She reached over, and snatched it, then hightailed it out of there.

Jax shook his head, and walked to the bathroom...


	8. Congratulations

**No One Leaves…."Congratulations."**

It's three weeks after their trip to Disneyworld, and things were exactly as they were before. Neither mentioned that night, and life for Lola stayed as it was. Except Jax was spending much more time, with just her. Brenda took that opportunity to start dating again. She decided to let Mickal, set her up, which turned out to be the best non date ever. She walked into the restaurant, and was immediately escorted to her table. She was pleasantly surprised, because the guy was drop dead gorgeous. Upon seeing her, he stood up, and instantly greeted her. He kissed her cheek, and he smelled so freaking good. He looked down at her shoes, and preceded to tell her how much he liked them. He even knew what season they were from. And that's when Brenda knew, he was gay. Good and gay. But Brenda had a wonderful time. There was just no romantic connection.

She called Mickal as soon as she made it home, and found out, that he was trying to change his lifestyle, to please his family.

"So you decided…..to set him up with me?"

"He's cute!"

"Mickal, he is gay! You are never setting me up again!"

She disconnected the call...

That happened two weeks ago. Brenda is now preparing to go on another date. She had just slipped on her shoes, when the door bell rung. She looked at the time, she knew it had to be Jax. She ran over and opened the door.

"Hey Jax."

He followed her in, closing the door behind him. "You look nice. Are you on your way out?"

"Yes, I have a date."

For some reason that caught him by surprise. "A date?"

"Yes."

"I didn't even know, you had started dating."

"It's time, don't you think?"

"I guess."

She turned and looked at him. "You guess? Are you not dating, Jasper?"

"What kind of question is that? You know I'm seeing Sasha."

"I'm just making a point. But anyway, have a seat, Lola will be out in a minute. I think she's putting on her shoes."

Jax nodded, as his eyes followed her down the hall.

Brenda walked passed Lola's room, and peeked in. "Jax is here."

Lola smiled. "Ok, Mamma. I'm coming."

She then preceded to go into her room, where she spent a couple more minutes on her hair, then applied her lipstick, and put on her earrings. She looked herself over one last time. She did a quick dance. "I look good."

She heard some giggling behind her. "Mamma, why are you dancing?"

Brenda turned, and saw Lola standing there with Jax. "Um...no reason."

Jax smiled. "Well, we're leaving. Unless you would like to…do a little dance for us again?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "No I wouldn't."

"Is your friend…..coming here?"

"No, we are meeting."

Jax nodded. "Well, be safe."

She looked at him briefly. "I will." She walked over, and kissed Lola. "I'll see you later Sweetheart."

"Bye Mamma."

Lola and Jax disappeared down the hall. Brenda heard the door close. She walked over and spritzed herself with perfume. She looked down. "These shoes hurt like hell." She went into the closet, and switched to another pair. A couple of minutes later, she was walking out of the door...

Brenda had never met this guy before. It was actually some guy, Mona insisted she see. She loved Mona, so she thought it couldn't hurt. Brenda walked into the dimly lit restaurant. She was escorted to her table. She walked up and a man, who looked to be older than Edward Quartermaine stood up.

"Brenda?"

Brenda looked down at him, that's right down! He was so short! She wanted to turn, and walk away. But she smiled, and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you Arturo."

"Same here." He looked lovingly into her eyes. "My dear, you are simply a vision."

Brenda smiled. "Thanks."

He walked over, and pulled out her chair, she sat down. He then took his seat. The date didn't really seem like a date. He treated her more like a daughter. Brenda learned he was a widower, and had four adult children. They really enjoyed each other's company, but there was no love match. Brenda didn't even know what Mona was thinking, she should have went on a date with this man. He was too old for her, and she was too young for him. And they both knew it. That didn't stop them from going forward with it. He was a nice man, just not for her. She thanked him for dinner, and they went their separate ways.

Brenda walked outside the restaurant. She pulled out her cell phone and called Mona.

"Mona, I just finished my date."

"How did it go?"

"He was too old!"

"So, isn't he nice?"

"Yes, he reminded me of the grandfather, I never had!"

Mona seemed shocked, by her declaration. "You didn't like him?"

"He is a very sweet man, but he isn't quite what I'm looking for. And I think he felt the same."

Mona sounded really disappointed. "I...thought you two would hit it off."

"Well, we didn't."

"I'm sorry, I tried."

"I know, thanks Mona." She disconnected the call. (That is the last time, I let someone fix me up.) Brenda sighed, and looked to her right. Some guy, was trying to get his lighter to work. He looked desperate, especially with the cigarette hanging out of his mouth. "Maybe you shouldn't smoke."

He looked over at her, and his eyes quickly looked her over. He tossed the cigarette. "Done."

Brenda smiled. "It's not that easy, you should get a patch or something."  
Brenda noticed, right off how good looking he was. He had dark hair, and beautiful gray eyes.

"I have one." He touched his upper arm. "Right here."

"Oh, have you tried gum?"

"I've tried a lot of things."

"Well, I'm sure you'll find something. Just don't give in. Do what you have to do, to quit."

He nodded.

"Well, good luck." Brenda started down the street.

"Excuse me!"

She turned and stopped. "Yes?"

"I know this is a little far fetched, but would you like to have a drink with me?"

Brenda smiled. "No, you're a stranger."

"Not really, we've just had a conversation. And you counseled me."

"Conversation? I don't even know your name."

"I'll tell you over a glass of champagne."

"Are you a murderer?"

He smiled. "Not today."

Brenda looked down at the time. A quick drink wouldn't hurt. They head back into the restaurant...

His name was Adriano Romano. He had been in Rome, for approximately three years. He actually grew up in the States. He was divorced, with no children. His ex wife remarried, and lived in New York. He wanted a change of scenery, so he up and moved to Rome. He had family out here, so he wasn't alone. He was in the restaurant business. He didn't participate in the day to day, he was more like a silent partner. He was actually part owner, of the restaurant they were in. Brenda looked at her watch, she had to go, she was late. He walked her to her car.

"How do I get in contact with you?"

She opened her door, and got in. She rolled her window down. "Check your phone."

"My phone?" He pulled it out of his pocket.

She pulled off, and looked in her rear view mirror. He must have found it, because he looked up, smiled, and headed back into the restaurant.

She grinned, and continued down the street. She'd taken his phone, while he was in the bathroom. She decided to save him the trouble, of asking for her phone number, so she went ahead and put it in his phone. She liked him. He was good looking, very interesting, and she wanted to know more…..

Brenda opened the door to her apt. Jax was sitting in the living room watching TV.  
"I'm sorry I'm late. I guess I lost track of time."

"It's ok. Lola is already in bed."

"How long have you two been here?"

"Maybe a couple of hours."

"Oh." Brenda pulled off her jacket and tossed it on a chair. She plopped down on top of it.

"How was your date?"

She sighed. "Don't ask."

"That bad?"

Brenda rolled her eyes. "He was old enough to be your mother's father."

Jax laughed.

Brenda continued. "And I made sure I called and thanked Mona, she's the one that fixed me up. And the poor man was mortified! He had no interest in me. He treated me like a father, would a daughter. He was sweet though."

"Must have been, you're late."

Brenda grinned. "Guess so." She didn't feel like explaining, why she was really late. She just let him believe what he wanted.

Brenda turned her attention to the television. There was some kind of murder mystery on. She leaned back, within minutes she was asleep.

Jax looked over at Brenda, who had fallen asleep. His eyes move up her body. She looked so beautiful. She was wearing a fitted skirt, and some kind of corsette top. It looked like it was made for bed. Her hair was pulled up, exposing her neck. His eyes rests on her lips. She moved, and it looked like her breasts were about to pop out of her top. At that moment her eyes open.

She stretched. "Why didn't you wake me?"

He shrugged. "You looked tired."

She yawned "I am."

He turned the TV off. "Well, I better get going."

She stood up. "It's late, why don't you stay in the guest bedroom?"

"You think that's a good idea?"

Brenda sighed. "Jax, what do you think is going to happen? I'm going to sneak in your room, and force myself on you?"

Jax smiled. "Is that a trick question?"

Brenda's eyes got wide. "We aren't supposed to be mentioning that. Remember?"

"I didn't say anything."

"Look, if you want to stay you can. If not, that's fine too."

Jax sighed. "It is late. I don't really feel like driving across town."

"It's settled, you can sleep in the guest bedroom."

He nodded. "Ok."

Brenda prepared the room for him.

Jax thanked her, and she left. He stripped down, to his boxers, and got into bed.

Brenda slid on a silk nightie, removed her makeup, and crawled into bed. She was so tired, within minutes she was asleep...

It's the middle of the night, and Jax can't sleep. He got out of bed, and walked down the hall. He knew he shouldn't be going into her room, but he couldn't help himself. There was a pull, that he was having a difficult time ignoring. He opened the door and went in…...

He walked over to the bed, and knelt down beside it. Her face was bare. No trace of any makeup. She was even more beautiful without it. If she woke up, and caught him in her room, she would surely have a fit. He was willing to take that chance. Yes, he was dating someone else, and he really liked Sasha. They'd been dating for awhile now. But he still craved her. He sat there, as she slept. He wanted to climb in bed with her, and hold her close. Who knows maybe they could make it work this time? At that moment, he thought about Lola. He walked over to the window, and peered out. She deserved more than a maybe. They didn't need to be together, if it they were just going to end it as quickly as it started. They couldn't play with Lola's emotions like that. He looked back over at Brenda. (Maybe they were simply not meant to be, and who knows maybe they were. He wish he had a sign, he didn't want to make any mistakes.) He stood up, looked down at her, then left. As soon as the door closed, Brenda's eyes popped open. She sat up, and looked around. But she didn't see anyone. She fell back onto the pillow, and went back to sleep…..

It's the next morning, and Brenda is already up, and in the kitchen.

Jax walked in, and sat down at the counter. "Good morning."

Brenda looked up at him. "Is it? You look like hell."

Jax ran his fingers through his hair. "I feel like hell."

"You couldn't sleep?"

Jax yawned. "Not really."

When he walked in, Brenda was pouring herself a cup of coffee. She grabbed another cup, and poured him some. She sat it in front of him. "I'm sorry, was the bed too soft?"

"The bed was fine."

At that moment Lola walked in. She was shocked to see Jax.

"Jax!" She ran over to him.

"Hello sweetheart." They hug.

She walked over to Brenda, and hugged her. "Morning Lovebug."

Lola ran over to the table, and sat down. Brenda walked over, and sat her breakfast down in front of her. Jax moved to the table, to sit near Lola. Brenda knew he liked oatmeal in the mornings. She cooked him some, and handed it to him. He thanked her. Lola and Jax make small talk. Brenda had no idea what they were talking about. She was busy checking her emails.

Jax noticed, that Lola had stopped eating. "Are you ok?"

"I don't feel so good."

Brenda walked over to her, and bent down. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"I don't feel well."

Brenda touched her head, and noticed she had a fever. "Let's get you back to bed."

Lola stood up, and emptied her stomach on the kitchen floor. Brenda took her to get cleaned up, then checked her temperature. It was kind of high. After putting her to bed, Brenda called the doctor. They insisted she bring her in, because her temperature had them worried.

Jax went along with them. It turns out, she had a virus. The doctor said, it shouldn't last more than a day. Brenda was very relieved, but Jax was extremely anxious.

After putting Lola to bed, Jax left briefly. He went home to grab some clothes. Brenda could tell he was really worried.

After showering, and checking on Lola, Jax came into the living room. He sat down on the sofa next to Brenda.

"She's sleeping?"

He nodded.

Brenda tried to reassure him. "She'll be fine. The fever reducer made her sleepy."

"Yeah, I know. I remember...Josslyn having...to take it."

Brenda looked over at him. She could see the stress on his face. "Jax, she is fine."

"I know, forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive." She knew he had to be thinking of Josslyn. She reached over, and grabbed his hand. "It isn't serious…..ok?"

He nodded.

He nodded, but Brenda could still tell, he was struggling to relax. "Jax, it's ok. Talk about it."

"Brenda, I don't want to talk about it."

"But you can't keep it bottled up, it's not healthy."

Jax remained silent.

"Well, I won't pressure you. But Lola is ok, she just has a virus…..that's all."

They sat there for awhile, without talking, and all of sudden, Brenda heard Jax's voice. "I thought….Josslyn….had a cold. A simple cold. We took her to the hospital, and she never came home." A tear trickled down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away. "I'm sorry, I don't want to upset you."

"I'm fine. I told you, it's ok."

"I just had no idea, she was as sick as she was."

"Jax, it's not your fault."

"I…know….no I don't." He stared at nothing in particular. "I should have taken her to the hospital sooner."

"Stop blaming yourself, you did the best you could."

"No, I didn't. I was supposed to take care of her…..I failed." The sorrow in his eyes was heart wrenching.

"Ooooh, Jaaaax."

Brenda moved closer to him, as another tear fell. She reached up, and wiped it away. He needed to let it out. He knew it too, because it was suffocating him. She wrapped her arms around him, and the tears came freely...

**Part 2**

Lola did get better, in fact by the next morning, she was back to her usual self.

It's a week later, and everything is back to normal. Lola is in school, and Brenda is on her second date with Adriano. They actually went to dinner, a couple of days before, and she really had a good time. So they decided to do something a little different, and meet for breakfast.

Brenda wore a white shirt, and a beautiful yellow pencil skirt, with nude platforms. Adriano was just as stylish. He wore camel slacks, and a nice white shirt. Brenda was extremely attracted to this man.

Adriano took a sip of coffee. "I really enjoyed our dinner the other night."

She smiled. "Me too. The conversation was really great. I love a man with a sense of humor."

He grinned. "I just like you. So happy, I was standing outside the restaurant, that night."

Brenda grinned. "Yeah…..Trying to light your little cigarette. Are you still wearing a patch?"

"Yep, right here." He reached up, and touched his arm.

"I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, I'm trying."

The waitress walked up, and took their orders. They both ordered omelets. After a short wait, their food was brought out.

Adriano picked up his fork. "This looks and smells so good."

Brenda breathed it in, and jumped up. She walked quickly to the bathroom. She made it just in time. All the contents in her stomach, lay in the bottom of the toilet. Brenda leaned against the door of the stall. She heard the door open.

"Brenda?"

It was Adriano. "I'm fine, I'll be-." She couldn't even finish her sentence, she was throwing up again.

"Brenda? Do you need a doctor?"

She grabbed a piece of tissue, wiped her mouth, and flushed the toilet. "No...". She walked out of the bathroom. "I'm fine, I just need to go home and lie down. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine."

Brenda rinsed her mouth. She looked up in the mirror, then turned. "What are you doing in the women's bathroom?"

"Checking on you."

"You're going to get arrested."

Adriano flashed a brilliant smile. "No, who's going to call the police? I own the place."

She smiled. "What don't you own?"

"There are quite a few places. But come on, let's get you home…"

Brenda made it back home. She checked her temperature, and to her delight, she didn't have one. She thought maybe she was coming down, with that virus. She really hoped she wasn't, because it was definitely going around.

Jax was picking up Lola, so she decided to lay down for a couple of hours. Brenda had been lying down, for about three hours, when she heard her doorbell. She sighed, got up, walked out into the living room, and over to the door. She looked out the peephole, it was Mickal. She opened the door.

Mickal smiled. "Hello, I decided to do something nice." He held up a couple of bags. "I brought you lunch."

"Thanks. I am hungry. I tried to eat this morning, but that didn't end well."

Brenda turned and walked into the kitchen, with Mickal following. He started unloading the boxes. He opened a box, and the smell smacked her in the face. Brenda felt that familiar feeling, and ran over to the trash can.

Mickal covered his mouth, in disgust. "Ewww! Brenda, are you ok?"

Brenda stood up, and tried to catch her breath. "I think...I...have that virus."

Mickal reached over and touched her forehead. "You don't have a temp."

"I know, but I threw up this morning too."

"Maybe you should go see a doctor?"

"Yeah." Brenda leaned up against the counter.

"Well, I'm not letting this food go to waste." He grabbed a fork, and started eating. "At least we know you're not pregnant. Especially, since you haven't had sex since you conceived Lola." He started laughing. He was being sarcastic, he knew Brenda had sex after Lola. Mickal noticed that Brenda wasn't laughing, and her face was ghost white. "What? Could you be pregnant?"

Brenda shook her head. "Nooo, of course not."

Mickal dropped his fork. "Have you been having sex? And don't lie!"

"It was just one time."

"That's all it takes. Did you use protection?"

She shook her head. "No." She covered her mouth, and her eyes got wide. "No, no, noooo!"

Mickal grabbed his keys.

Brenda looked up at him. "Where are you going?"

"To get you a pregnancy test."

Brenda didn't respond. And Mickal left...

Mickal returned, and emptied the brown bag. He purchased three kinds of tests. Brenda went into the bathroom, and took all of them. She came back out, and sat down next to Mickal, who was sitting on her bed.

"Is it the new guy?"

Brenda shook her head. "No."

"Well, who?"

"I'm not even sure if I'm pregnant! Let's just wait and see...…..."

Brenda walked out of the bathroom. Mickal stared at her. She sat down next to him. "All three...positive."

"What?"

She shook her head. At that moment they heard the door slam. Brenda jumped. "Jax...Lola. Get rid of those tests, please."

Mickal nodded, and Brenda left...

She walked out, and found Jax sitting on the sofa. Lola was sprinting to her room. "Whoa! Slow down!"

"Hello Mamma." They hug, and she continued on.

Brenda looked at Jax. "Where is she off to?"

"Happy to be at home, I guess."

"Oh." Brenda walked over and sat down.

Jax questioned her. "Are you ok? You look pale."

"I'm fine. I just need some sun."

Jax looked behind Brenda, and saw Mickal walking out of her room. "Hey, Jax."

"Mickal."

"Bye Jax. See you later Brenda."

"Bye Mickal."

Mickal was carrying a brown bag, and holding it tightly against his chest. They heard the door slam.

"What is his problem?"

"I don't know. I think he is doing something special for his boyfriend. He wouldn't even let me see it."

"But you were...back there with him."

"Briefly, but I didn't get to see anything. He just asked if he could come over, and I said yes."

Jax shrugged. "Well, I have to get going. I'm supposed to meet Sasha."

"Ok."

Jax went into Lola's room for a moment, then let himself out.

As soon as he was gone, Brenda grabbed her phone, and called Mickal. Within minutes he was walking back in her apt.

Brenda grabbed him by the arm, and they went into the kitchen. "So what did you do with them?"

"Threw them in the dumpster out back."

"Good."

"Brenda, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I need to make an appointment…with my doctor."

Mickal started biting his nails. "Brenda...who is the father?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Mickal grabbed her by the arm. "Oh, yes you do , I'm your friend, you can tell me." His eyes got wide, and he looked at her closely, like he was reading her. "Wait….is it Jax?"

Brenda didn't say anything, she just looked away.

He covered his mouth. "It…is. Jax got you pregnant."

"Shhh, I don't want Lola to hear. It was just one drunken time...in Orlando."

"You need to tell him."

"I will, just not right now. I need to process all of this." She walked over and sat down.

"Brenda, you can't lie to him, not again."

"I'm not, I just need some time, that's all."

Mickal didn't want to upset her. "Ok." He kneeled in front of her, he could see the stress on her face. "It's going to be ok….."

Brenda eventually went to the doctor, and he confirmed what she already knew. She was pregnant. She had no idea, what she should do. She had to tell Jax, just not right now. She needed to get use to the idea first…...

Brenda is at a luncheon, given by ASEC. It's not an official fundraising function, just something for all the representatives. Everyone is mingling, except Brenda. She was on the balcony by herself. She looked down at the street below.

"I brought you some juice."

She turned to see Mickal. She took the glass. "Thank you."

"The father of your children is in there, with his Russian slut."

"Stop it. It's not her fault, hell or his really."

"What do mean?"

"Nothing."

"Brenda, you are going to have to tell him, at some point. You are going to get bigger."

She drunk some of her juice. "I know."

They heard some clapping, whistling, and yelling coming from behind them. They turned and looked briefly.

Mickal leaned against the balcony. "I wonder what's going on in there?"

Brenda shrugged. "Maybe we are on target for our goal, I don't know."

One of the female representatives, Lisa, walked out onto the balcony. She looked at Mickal and Brenda. "Have you two heard?"

Mickal shook his head. "Heard what?"

"Jax and Sasha got engaged. Aren't they just the cutest couple?"

Mickal looked at Brenda, then back Lisa. "Since when?"

She shrugged. "I guess last night. She asked him, how romantic." She turned and left.

Brenda was at a lost for words. Things kept getting worse and worse. Mickal grabbed her hand. "Are you ok?"

"Peachy."

"You need to tell him, like now."

Brenda shook her head. "I can't do that. If he wants to marry her, then he should. I'll tell him, just not right now."

"Brenda, you do realize you are going to start showing?"

"I know Mickal, please stop saying that!" Brenda sighed, and whispered. "And Jax, doesn't have long engagements."

"You want him to marry her?"

"If that is what he wants. I will not use this baby as a weapon."

Mickal stared into her hurt eyes. "Brenda, do you still love him?"

"Of course I care about Jax."

"Let me rephrase, are you still in love with him, as in…..you want him with you?"

Brenda looked over Mickal's shoulder. "Hello Jax…congratulations."

"Thanks. Mickal, could you excuse us?"

Mickal nodded, and went back inside.

"Brenda, I wanted to talk to you first, I had no idea Sasha was going to tell anybody. She told Susan, and well….She decided it was her place to announce it."

Brenda turned and looked out into the street. "It's ok, she's excited."

"Yeah." Jax studied her face, for any type of a reaction. But he didn't see one. "I guess, she'll have to meet Lola?"

Brenda nodded. "I would think so, she is going to be your wife. I had no idea it was that serious."

"We've been seeing each other for awhile now."

"Yeah….I know." She looked over at him. "Jax...I'm really happy for you."

Sasha walked out. "Hello, Brenda."

"Hi. Congratulations."

She grabbed Jax's hand. "Thank you so much. And I promise to treat Lola, just like she was my own."

Brenda smiled. "Well, I'll leave you two alone." She went inside, and Sasha threw her arms around Jax.

Mickal rushed over, as soon as she walked in. "How did that go?"

"Let's go, please."

"Ok." Mickal and Brenda leave. Jax's eyes followed them out of the door...


	9. Can't a Girl Cry Alone?

**No One Leaves…"Can't a girl…cry alone?"**

After leaving the luncheon, Brenda and Mickal decided to grab a cup of coffee. Brenda ordered a cup of decaffeinated, but hardly touched it, she just didn't feel like drinking it. She didn't feel like doing anything.

They managed to only stay at the coffee shop, for about thirty minutes, before Brenda decided, she just wanted to go home. Mickal wanted to stay with her, but she didn't really feel like company. She just wanted to be alone. She really needed to figure things out. She was relieved that she would have the place to herself, because Mona and Lola had gone shopping.

She exited the elevator, and headed down the hall to her apt. Brenda unlocked the door, and headed inside. As soon as the door closed, she slid down its length, and sobbed.

"Brenda?"

She looked up. "Jax, what are you doing here?" She wiped her face.

He walked over and extended his hand, she took it and he pulled her to her feet. "You left the luncheon rather quickly, I was worried about you."

She ran her hand down her face again. "I'm fine."

"Brenda, you don't look fine. Did I upset you? Because, that was not my intention. I really didn't, want her to say anything. I promise you."

"Jax, she was excited, you can't blame her. She's marrying the man of her dreams, she just wanted to share her happy news. And please….don't think I'm not happy for you, because I am."

"You don't look happy."

Brenda looked up at him, his blue eyes staring down at her. "I am happy, I was just...crying, because I always dreamed of being married by now, but it's taking awhile to get there. Mickal is in love, and so are you. I'm just feeling sorry for myself." (Good one Brenda.)

"Oh…..I'm….sure you'll find someone."

Brenda needed to get the attention off her. She started walking towards the kitchen. "Tell me more about Sasha."

Jax followed her. "What would you like to know?"

"What kind of person is she?"

"She's funny...sweet, but smart too."

She walked over to the fridge. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, a glass of wine would be fine?"

Brenda opened the fridge, and took out a bottle of wine. She grabbed a glass and poured him some.

"I know you aren't going to make me drink alone."

Brenda smiled. "Of course not." She reached over and grabbed another glass, and poured herself one.

He raised his glass. "So what are we toasting to?"

"I guess….to the beginning of a new life." (Ooops.)

He nodded. "Good one." They click glasses, and Jax took a sip.

Brenda pulled the glass to her lips, then stopped all of a sudden. "You didn't finish telling me about Sasha."

Jax turned, and walked toward the table. Brenda quickly emptied her wine in the sink. When he turned her glass was empty. She walked over and sat across from him. He looked over at her. "I thought I already told you."

"You didn't tell me how you two fell in love?"

"Just one of those things."

Brenda shook her head and grinned. "I bet if I asked her, she wouldn't say that."

Jax shrugged. "Maybe not. I'm a man, we don't talk about things like that."

"Don't remind me."

"I wasn't that bad."

"You had your moments."

"I always tried to tell you how I felt, and if you feel like I didn't, I'm sorry."

Their eyes lock briefly. Brenda smiled. "Jax, what are we talking about?"

He smiled. "I don't know."

She changed the subject. "Are you two planning a long engagement?"

"We don't have anything planned, as of late."

She nodded. *silence* Brenda looked down at the table, then over at Jax. "Are you happy?"

Jax finished off his wine. "I'm confident in the choice I made. To be honest, I really wanted it to work with you. But we tried, and we just couldn't get it right. I think we have a great relationship now, and it's working for Lola, and that's most important. So yes, I'm happy."

Brenda felt a lump form in her throat. She whispered. "Good."

They heard the door open then voices. They both stand and walk toward them.

Lola dropped her bags. "Jax!" She ran and jumped in his arms.

"Hello, sweetheart." He kissed her cheek. She giggled. "What did you buy?"

She managed to get out of his arms. And grab her bag. She preceded to show him, what Mona bought for her. Jax, Mona, and Lola head into the living room. Brenda didn't move.

Brenda knew Jax was right. This was perfect for Lola. He had every right to move on, and she didn't want to mess it up, by telling him she was pregnant. She didn't believe in abortion, at least not for herself. She closed her eyes. She just needed a moment.

Mona touched her shoulder.

Brenda jumped. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you come out of the living room."

"Are you ok?"

"Of course, I just have a lot on my mind, that's all. Mona, I'm going to go and lie down. I don't feel well."

Mona touched her head. "Anything I can do?"

Brenda shook her head. "No, I'm just tired." She walked passed the living room, and down the hall…

About a an hour later, Brenda heard a knock at her door, then it opened. It was Jax.

"Are you ok?"

She sat up. "Yes, I'm fine, I'm just a little tired."

"I won't stay long. I just wanted to let you know, I was going away for awhile…..with Sasha. I was just about to tell you, when Lola came in."

"Really? Where?"

"To Russia, to see her family."

"First time meeting them?"

He nodded. "And she still has to meet my mother, and of course Lola. I still haven't figured out, how I should do that. Lola is still getting use to me, I don't want her to resent Sasha if I do it too soon."

"It will just take some time."

Jax couldn't help but notice, that something was off with Brenda. "Brenda, are you sure you're ok? I know what you said, but are you sure that's all it is?"

"Yes, of course ." She ran her hand down her hair, in an attempt at smoothing it.

"Brenda, there is nothing wrong with your hair, you still look beautiful, you always do, but I….don't know….you just seem troubled about something."

"I'm fine Jax."

He decided to just leave it alone. "Well ok, I'll call…to check on Lola."

She nodded.

"Take care Brenda."

"You too Jax."

The door closed, and she fell back onto the pillow…...

It's been almost two weeks since, Jax left. Things got a lot easier, especially since she didn't have to look at him everyday.

She had just got home, from taken Lola to school, when her cell phone rung. She pulled it out of her sports bra, and looked down at the number. It was Adriano, she hadn't spoken with him, since the day in the restaurant. He called, quite a few times, but she just didn't feel like talking to him. She sighed, and answered.

"Hello."

"Brenda, I have been trying to reach you, for the past two weeks! Are you ok?"

"Yes, I know, and I apologize. I've just been dealing with a lot."

"Have you been sick?"

Brenda didn't know how she should handle this.

"Brenda?"

"Adriano…I really need to talk to you, and in person. Are you free?"

"If you want to meet, we can meet. Just tell me where?"

"Your restaurant….the cafe."

"Ok, I'm actually on my way there."

"Ok, I'll see you in a little while."

"Look forward to it."

Brenda disconnected the call, and went into her room to change. She put on a floor length maxi dress, and pulled her hair up into a bun. She threw on some large hoop earrings, and grabbed a big slouchy purse, and headed out of the door…..

Adriano was waiting outside, he smiled when he saw her walking up the street. She smiled and walked up to him, he hugged her tightly.

"I've missed you."

She reached up and ran her hand down the lapel of his jacket. "Me too, you look good. And you're growing a beard."

He reached up and touched his face. "Yes, something different." He grabbed her hand, and lead her into the restaurant. He already had a table ready. It was located outside on the terrace. He pulled her chair out, and she sat down.

He sat across from her. "Where have you been? I thought you we were on our way to something amazing, but it was like you dropped off the face of the earth."

"I apologize."

"Is it someone else?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not seeing anyone else."

A waitress walked over. Brenda ordered an iced tea, she didn't want anything to eat. He asked for the same. He didn't feel like eating either, he just wanted to know where she's been.

"So why haven't I heard from you?"

"Something unexpected happened, and it kind of threw a wrench into things."

He reached over and grabbed her hand. "What?"

The waitress walked up and sat their drinks down, and asked if they needed anything else. They declined. Adriano asked again. "What happened?"

She didn't know if she should tell him, but she decided to at least tell somebody the truth. It's not like he knew Jax, or anybody else. So she just blurted it out. "I'm pregnant."

Adriano just looked at her, he didn't know what to say. "How far along?"

"Not that far along, almost two months."

"Is that why you were sick, the last time we saw each other?"

She nodded. "But I didn't know then, I found out later on that day. I took a pregnancy test…when I got home."

"And the father?"

"It's complicated."

"Does he know?"

"No. Only you and one other person knows."

"I won't say anything."

"Thanks, but that's not why I'm telling you. I didn't want you to think, I didn't like you, because I do, but given the situation, it just isn't the right time."

"Why?"

Brenda's eyes got wide. (Is he serious?) "Because I'm knocked up, that's why. And Adriano, you don't really….want to date a pregnant woman."

"Normally, I wouldn't, but this is different."

"Why is this different?"

"Because that woman is you."

Brenda shook her head and started laughing. She was really shocked, she didn't expect this. She thought he would run, not walk out of the restaurant. "Yeah, but….I'm PREG-NANT Adriano."

"So, I like you, and I think you are the most beautiful creature, I have ever seen. And plus, you talked me off the cigarette ledge. Don't stop seeing me."

Brenda sighed. "I like you too. And I'm extremely attracted to you, but I won't always look like this. I'm going to get bigger."

"I know."

"Look, Adriano, to be honest, I don't even know, if I'm comfortable with it."

"Let's at least try. Please." He moved closer. He grabbed her hand, pulling it up to his lips. "I promise to rub your feet when their swollen, and your back too. I'll even hold your hair, while you vomit."

She laughed. "Adriano! You are saying this now, but you have no idea what your are getting into."

"Yes, I do. I'm not twelve, Brenda. I'm a grown ass man."

Brenda sighed. She did not expect this. "Ok…..we can see each other, but casually."

"I'll take that." Before she could object, he leaned over and joined his lips with hers…...

**Part 2**

It's a couple of days later, and Brenda and Lola are spending some quality time together. They went shopping and also got manis and pedis.

They are having lunch at Lola's favorite restaurant.

"When is Jax coming back?"

"I don't know Sweetheart, remember he told you it wouldn't be much longer."

She started pouting. Lola had really gotten attached to Jax. Children know when they are loved, and she knew Jax loved her, and she definitely loved him. Lola was a daddy's girl for sure.

Brenda leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I know sweetheart, he'll be back. I promise. Now eat your food."

Lola started eating, but Brenda could still see the sadness in her eyes.

Brenda on the other hand, was actually kind of happy, Jax wasn't around, because she could relax a little, especially with her being pregnant. But she missed him too, more than she cared to admit…

After leaving the restaurant, they met Mona, and spent the rest of the day with her, and her family. Lola was exhausted when they returned. Brenda bathed her, and put her to bed….

Brenda had just gotten out of the shower, when her doorbell rung. She pulled on her bath robe, and headed towards the door. She looked out the peephole, and smiled. It was Jax. Her heart skipped a beat. She opened the door. "Hi."

He smiled. "Hello."

They stood there for a moment, wanting to hug, but not sure if they should. Brenda stood on her tip toes, and kissed his cheek. "Welcome back."

"Thanks."

She was still wet from the shower, she reached up and wiped his face. "Sorry didn't mean…to get you wet."

He smiled. "I won't melt."

She grinned. "Well, come on in." She moved to the side, and let him enter. He looked really good, and tanned. They headed to the living room.

"Where is Lola, is she asleep already?"

"Yes, and she has been missing you…..so much."

"I've missed her too. I want to go and look in on her, if it's ok?"

"Jax she's yours too, of course you can."

"Thanks." He headed down the hall.

Brenda sat down on the sofa. She missed Jax more than she realized, and he looked better than she remembered. About five minutes later, he walked back into the living room, and sat down.

"I didn't realize, just how much I missed that little face."

Brenda knew exactly how he felt, because she missed him just as much. "So, how was your trip?"

"It went better than expected. We only stayed in Russia for a couple of days."

"Where have you been?"

"Australia, and then the Caribbean."

"That's a lot of traveling."

He nodded. "Too much, I'm exhausted." He ran his fingers through his hair. Brenda noticed a piece of jewelry on his left hand. Her heart hit the floor. Jax looked over at her, and caught her reaction. "Brenda….I'm…sorry, I was going to tell you, but I got a little sidetracked, because I haven't seen…..Lola in so long."

"Where….did you get married?"

"Australia. We didn't go by ourselves. Her family went with us. It was not planned. But we figured why not, since we had everyone in one spot. Well, except Lola."

Brenda tried to hide her pain. "Well…congratulations. I shouldn't be that surprised….you never have long engagements."

Jax smiled. "Yeah…..that's a problem I have. I'm going to still take things slowly, with Sasha and Lola. I won't rush that."

Brenda couldn't really look at him. She didn't think she was strong enough to hold it together. "Well…I'm kind of tired. I'll tell Lola you came by, and….maybe…you….could meet tomorrow."

"Brenda, you aren't upset are you?"

She put on the bravest face she could muster, and looked him in his eyes. "Of course not, shocked, but happy for you. And if you love her, I'm sure Lola will too."

He nodded, and stood up. "I won't keep you, good night."

"Yeah….nite…Jax. Just lock the door on your way out, thanks."

"Ok." Jax walked out of the living room and over to the door…

Brenda heard the door open and then close. She put her hand over her mouth. The tears came like a flood, drowning her cheeks. She buried her face into the pillow, and sobbed.

"Brenda?"

She looked up, and was shocked to see Jax standing there. She quickly wiped her face. "Jax, I…..thought you'd left. Can't a girl….cry alone, without you interrupting?" She tried to smile, but he wasn't smiling.

"Why are crying? I thought you wanted me to move on?"

"I did…I do. I'm sorry, I'm just having one of those female moments. That's all."

"That was more than a female moment. What is wrong with you? And please don't lie. This is the second time, I've caught you crying. Brenda, please be honest with me. Because you are lying. I can feel it." His blue eyes are on her. She felt her hands starting to shake. And it didn't go unnoticed by him. He looked down at them, then back at her. "What? Just spit it out. Is it Lola? Is she sick?"

Brenda shook her head. "No, it's not Lola….she's fine."

"Well what?" Brenda looked down at the floor. Jax started to get really mad. "Dammit Brenda, just say it! What? Are you sick?"

Brenda jumped up, and attempted to walk passed him. "I need a moment, please."

Jax grabbed her arm. "Is this about Sasha? Because, you said…I should move on. Or don't you remember?"

She looked into his eyes. "Jax….let go….please."

He stood there staring at her.

She closed her eyes. "Jax…..let go, I'm begging you."

He released her and his eyes, followed her down the hall. Jax was confused as hell. He didn't know what was going on, but he wasn't leaving until she told him. He sat down and just waited.

Brenda was freaking out, and she had to calm down…for the baby's sake. She knew she couldn't keep this secret any longer, she just had to tell him. But she didn't think she would be able to. She sat down and took a couple of deep breaths.…..

Ten minutes had passed, when Jax heard his phone beep. He pulled it out of his pocket. He had a new text message, and it was from Brenda. He opened it:

_I'm pregnant._

He was not expecting that. To say that he was shocked, would be an understatement. He got up, walked to her room, and knocked on the door. A couple of seconds later she opened it. She walked over and sat on the bed. He sat down next to her.

"Brenda, I'm…sorry, I had no idea."

She looked over at him. "I'm….sorry…..I should have told you."

"It's ok, it all makes sense now. And if there…is anything I can do to help you, I will. Did you tell the father?"

"Ja-"

At that moment, his phone beeped again. He looked down. "You sent another message?"

Her eyes widen. "You….didn't get it, did you?"

He looked over at her. "What does it say?"

He watched as a single tear, made its way down her cheek.

"What?"

She didn't say a word.

He opened it:

_And it's yours_...


	10. It's Like My Best Friend's Wedding

**No one Leaves…..."it's like My Best Friend's Wedding…."**

Jax didn't say a word at first. Brenda didn't say anything either. It seemed like they'd been sitting there for hours, but in all actuality, it had only been about two minutes.

Brenda finally heard Jax speak. "How do you know its mine?"

"Because I haven't been with anyone else."

"How far along?" She didn't have time to respond, because he answered himself. "Well I guess that's a dumb question. It's been about two months, since Orlando. When did you find out?"

"Right around the time you announced your engagement."

"Did you know before, or after?"

"Before."

Jax sighed. "Brenda, why didn't you tell me?"

"Well…..Jax, I found out one day, and you announced your engagement the next. What was I supposed to do?"

"Tell me, because now I have a wife that I have to tell. What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. And maybe I was going to tell you, but you ran off and got married." Brenda dropped her head. "Or maybe I wasn't. I don't know. I didn't want to ruin things for you. I was in a bad situation. One that I didn't want to be in. I don't want to be pregnant, but I am."

"So, are you going to keep it?"

Brenda wiped her eyes. "Of course Jax. I'm not having an abortion."

"So, it's safe to assume, you have seen a doctor?"

"Yes."

Jax ran his fingers through his hair. "And is everything ok?"

She nodded. "Yes. I have a picture, I'm not sure if you'd like...to see it."

He looked over at her. "Where?"

Brenda stood up, and went into her closet. Seconds later she returned, with a printout. She handed it to Jax.

He just stared at it. She could tell, he was still trying to process everything. "Can I keep it?"

She didn't expect that. "Yeah...if you want."

Jax looked as if, he had the world on his shoulders.

Brenda made an attempt at reassuring him. "Maybe Sasha-."

"No Brenda, don't."

"I'm sorry Jax."

"It's not your fault. You didn't make the baby by yourself."

Jax stood up. "I have...to...meet Sasha."

Brenda looked up at him. "Are you going to tell her…..tonight?"

"If I don't, I won't be able to."

Brenda followed him out of her bedroom.

He walked over to the door, pulling it open. He turned and looked down at her. Her eyes were red from crying. "Stop crying, your mood...affects the baby."

She nodded and without saying another word, he left...

Brenda closed and locked the door.

On the way to her room, she looked in on Lola. She looked so peaceful. Brenda was so worried about telling Jax, she really hadn't thought about Lola. And what it would mean for her. Lola would be getting a sibling, which made her happy. She reached down and touched her stomach. She had to stop acting, like this was the worse thing in the world. It was her baby, and her baby deserved to feel loved. She looked down at her stomach. "I love you, and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I didn't." Before leaving, she walked over, and kissed Lola's forehead. Then headed to her room...

Jax walked into his apt. He walked passed the kitchen, to the bedroom. The light was off, and there were candles all over. Sasha was lying in bed, wearing a corset and garter. She crawled across the bed, meeting him, as he approached. "Mr. Jax, your wife has been eagerly awaiting your arrival."

She threw her hands around his neck, and kissed him. She slid his jacket down his arms. And started releasing each button on his shirt. Jax stopped her. "Sasha...we need to talk."

She started kissing his neck. "Can't it wait?"

He pulled back. "No, it can't."

She looked up into his face. She could tell something was wrong. "O...k."

Jax tried to gather himself.

Sasha was anxiously waiting. "Well, what's wrong?"

"There is no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it." He looked into her eyes. "Brenda is pregnant."

All the color went out of her face. She knew exactly what that meant. "And it yours?"

Jax slowly nodded.

Tears spilled onto her cheeks. "You've been sleeping with her?"

"Just once...in Orlando."

"And you didn't think, I'd want to know?"

"It was one time. It was a mistake."

"How long have you known she was pregnant?"

"I just found out. She wanted to tell me, but she didn't want to break us up."

"Yeah right! But I'm not mad at her, I'm mad at you!" She jumped off the bed, and grabbed the first thing she saw, and threw it on. "You son of a b*tch!"

"Sasha, I didn't mean to hurt you. I really didn't."

Sasha was in the process of buttoning up her shirt. She walked over and slapped him. "Shut the f*ck up Jax!"

Jax didn't even flinch. "I know you're mad. But I'm sure if we try, we can work this out."

She looked at him, as if he was crazy. "Jax, I am no dummy, I'm not staying married to you! I have no problem accepting children, before our relationship. But I draw the line, when you get them during it." Jax watched as she stormed around the room, throwing her things back into her suitcase. "It's a good thing, I haven't moved to Rome yet."

She slammed her suitcase shut. "I am getting an annulment, as soon as possible! I can't believe you!" She went into the bathroom, grabbed some things, came back out, opened her suitcase, and threw them in. All of a sudden she just stopped, and started sobbing. Jax walked over, and grabbed her. She pulled away, and slapped him again, then again. "Why did you marry me?!"

Jax didn't say anything.

Sasha sighed. "Even if I was crazy enough to stay, I wouldn't. Because at no point in time, have you said. I love you, please stay. And it's because you don't." Jax tried to speak, but she threw her hand up. "Don't say a word." She took his key off her key ring and tossed it. Then left...

It's the next morning, and Brenda and Lola are just returning home. They had just returned from having breakfast, at a café, that Adriano owned.

Brenda unlocked the door, and Lola rushed in. Jax had called and said he'd meet them, at the apt. Lola was excited because she knew he was there.

Lola ran over to him. "Hello, Jax."

"Hello, Sweetheart." He pulled her into his lap.

He looked at Brenda, but didn't say anything.

"Lola, could you go and play in your room, just for a little while, I want to talk to Jax."

"Ok." Jax kissed her cheek, and she squirmed, and ran to her room.

Brenda was still holding her keys. She sat them on one of the tables, in the living room. She could tell Jax had a rough night. "Are you ok?"

"No, Sasha left."

"I'm sorry. Maybe...she just needs some time."

"According to her, we are getting an annulment."

Brenda sat down in one of the chairs. Jax was sitting on the sofa. "Do you want me to...talk to her?"

"And say what?"

"I don't know. It was my fault, and in a way it is. You didn't want to have sex with me."

"But I did."

"But you didn't initiate it."

Jax shook his head. "Brenda, just let it go. It's for the best."

"Is there anything, I can do?"

"Just take care of yourself."

She nodded. "I plan on it." *silence*

Jax looked over at her. "We are going to have a baby." He said it like he still couldn't believe it.

"Yeah...I know."

"Have you been sick?"

"Yes. In the beginning…..I thought I had a virus, you know the one Lola had."

Jax nodded. "How exactly…did you find out?"

"I was on a date, and I got sick. Mickal came over, and brought food, and I got sick again. So, he went out and got a couple of tests."

"The day of the boyfriend project?"

"Yes."

"I didn't even believe it when you said it."

"I had to come up with something. One minute I was looking at three positive tests, and the next, you and Lola were walking in."

"Why didn't you tell me then?"

"Jax, I had just found out! I was in shock, and I needed some time to let it sink in."

Jax's cell phone rung. He pulled it out of his pocket. "Excuse me, I need to take this." He got up and went into the kitchen.

About fifteen minutes later he returned.

He sat down on the sofa. "Sasha's lawyer, has already contacted my lawyer."

"That's quick…..I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. She wants an annulment. It's called a nullity in Australia. Looks like we won't need either. I don't know why it slipped my mind, but we were supposed to go back in a month to finalize our marriage. You have to give a notice of intent to marry…in Australia. We put a notice in, but we went ahead and had a little ceremony, for our parents, and we were going to go back, and wrap it up. But that won't be happening, so, my lawyer withdrew the intent, so no license, no marriage."

Brenda was confused. "You didn't sign anything?"

"No, but we were married in our mind. We just had to wait, to get it finalized. I guess it's a good thing, given the situation."

"Sasha knows?"

"I'm sure she does now, I think she forgot last night, which is understandable. She was extremely upset. She actually slapped me three times."

Brenda's eyes widen. "Jax..."

"I deserved it. I did get you pregnant."

"Are you ok?"

"Of course, she didn't hurt me."

"I don't mean physically, but emotionally."

"I'll live. At least I don't technically, have another failed marriage on the books."

"Jax, you're not supposed to be making jokes."

"Sometimes laughter is healing."

"Whatever, I don't feel like laughing." *silence* "Well, I guess we are co parents again."

Jax nodded. "Yes, we are." He looked over at her. "I'm trying to picture you pregnant."

"In a couple of months, you won't have to. And you know, we have to tell Lola."

Jax looked down. "Yeah, I know."

"Do you think it'll confuse her?"

"I hope not, but it could."

"Jax, I don't want to tell her yet."

"We don't have to."

"Good. Because I don't know if she'll understand. Mommie and daddy aren't together, but we are having another baby. There is a lot wrong with that picture."

"Brenda….I have to tell Lady Jane."

"Yeah, sure." Brenda sighed. "I wonder what she's going to think of me."

"You? Me? But it's our lives, not hers, she'll deal with it." Jax sounded more like a person, trying to convince himself. He sighed. "She hasn't even met Lola, and now she has another grandchild on the way. I don't know if I feel like hearing another lecture."

"Just like you said, they are our children, and it's our lives."

"Have you told the guy you're dating?"

Brenda nodded.

"Before me?"

Brenda didn't say anything, but Jax knew the answer.

"I can't believe you told him, before me."

"I told him, because I didn't want him to think I didn't like him. I stopped calling, and taking his phone calls, and he wanted to know why."

"He must have been in shock, to learn you were pregnant?"

Brenda laughed. "Wouldn't you be?"

"So, did you decide to remain friends?"

"What do you mean?"

"After you ended things."

"We haven't ended anything. Adriano is fine with it."

"Brenda, you cannot be seriously thinking about dating this guy, while you're pregnant?"

"Why not? I'm not dead I'm just pregnant. And plus he promised to rub my feet."

"I'll rub your feet, it's my baby."

Brenda smiled. "Are you getting jealous?"

"No. I just don't think you should be dating, while you're pregnant."

"Will you be dating, while I am pregnant?"

"Brenda, my marriage that wasn't legal….failed, I doubt it. And plus I'll be too busy rubbing your feet."

Brenda giggled. "We SHOULD not be laughing! This is not a happy time."

"Yes, it is. You're giving me another child, it is definitely a happy time. And it trumps everything else."

"Jax, are you...really happy, or are you just saying it, so I won't get upset."

"I was shocked, as I'm sure you were. But with that being said, I'm going to have another part of me on this earth, how can I not be happy."

"I am too. It took me awhile to get there, but I am there."

Jax shifted. "I was thinking, that maybe I should move in for awhile."

"Why?"

"Because, you are going to need some help. Especially, once you get into your second trimester. And after the baby comes."

"I don't know about that. I thought we are supposed to be sending a different message to Lola."

"We won't be sleeping in the same room, I'll just tell her, it's because I want to spend more time with her, which is not a lie. You know how much I love her."

Brenda nodded. "I do, but Jax what about your wi-...Sasha? What kind of message will that send?"

"My unborn child trumps everything, and everybody."

"When do you want to move in?"

"As soon as possible."

"As soon as possible? Why so soon? I'm just two months pregnant."

"So, the sooner the better."

Brenda looked away, then back at him. "What about Adriano?"

"What about him?"

"I don't know too many men, that want to date a woman, that's pregnant, AND living with the child's father."

"I'm not really concerned about him, or what he likes. So, what's it going to be?"

Brenda sighed. "I know I shouldn't agree to this, but...ok. You're here most of the time anyway, and since you're separated, I guess it should be fine."

"Brenda, Sasha and I are not separated, we are no longer together."

"Whatever. Do you just like having wedding ceremonies? Because you've had quite a few. And the majority of the time, you don't end up actually married. How many have we had? Like three?"

Jax did not think that was funny. "Well, I'm going to go and get Lola, I'm taking her out for awhile. It's been awhile, since we've spent time together."

"Yeah, because you went off, and got married, oh wait, no you didn't ." She started laughing.

"Ok, Brenda, enough with the jokes."

"Ok, ok, ok. I'm done. What happened to laughter is healing?"

"Your laughter is becoming obnoxious."

"Jax, we're going to make the best roommates. And...co parents...again." Tears roll down her cheeks, and she buried her face into her hands.

"Brenda?" He got up, and rushed over to her. He wrapped his arms around her, and she buried her face into his neck. "I thought I told you to stop crying."

She looked up into his blue eyes. "I'm...trying...and I am happy, I love our unborn child. But I'm about to be a single mother...of...two children, not just one. I'm scared."

He wiped her tears away. "Sweetheart, we are co parents remember? And you are not alone, they are my children too. Haven't I been here for Lola?"

She nodded.

"Ok, stop crying."

She wiped her eyes. "Ok. I'm sorry."

"Now, I know I'm making the right decision in moving in. I don't want you here crying all night…by yourself."

Jax looked up, and saw Lola peeking in. "Hey, come here."

She walked in slowly. "Mamma, are you and Papa Jax done?"

Brenda's eyes widen, and she looked at Jax. "Papa Jax?"

"Yes, Papa Jax. Are you done?"

Jax smiled. "Yes...we are. And we are going out." He looked at Brenda. "All of us..."

**Part 2**

After spending all day with Brenda and Lola, Jax went home to pack, and call his mother. It was mid afternoon in Australia. He dialed her number, and then he heard that familiar voice.

"Hello, Lady Jane."

"Hello! How are you and that new bride of yours?"

"Um…..About that…"

Lady Jane could tell something had happened. "Oh my goodness, I don't think I like your tone. What happened?"

"We aren't together, she left."

"Left?! Where did she go?!"

"I guess she has gone back to Russia."

"What? You have broken up...already?"

"I'm afraid so. And there's more. Brenda is pregnant, and the baby is mine. We were together once, and well...now you know, why it's over between me and Sasha."

She sighed. "Oooh my goodness. I don't know what to say. Well, at least this marriage isn't legal. Did you withdraw the intent?"

"Yes."

"Good. The last thing you need is another divorce on the books. But I guess it wouldn't be a divorce, because you aren't legally married. Thank God! Jax, Jax, Jax! So, what are your plans now? I mean, Brenda has two children by you! What are you going to do about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"What are you going to do about your children?"

"Parent them."

"And your children's mother? And I realize this is the last thing I should be mentioning to you, but are you going to marry her?"

"We...aren't...together."

"Well, you should be. Those children deserve a family. A mother and a father."

"Lola has both, and so will our unborn child."

"Jax, Jax, Jax!" She spent the next twenty minutes, lecturing him, before Jax said he had to go...

Jax didn't waste any time, moving in with Lola and Brenda. Within two days he had moved out of his apt, and into Brenda's guest room. Lola was loving it. She had both parents living in the same house, and she was having the time of her life.

They were like a real family. They had dinner together, watched shows together, played games together. Jax and Brenda even took turns, tucking Lola in. But after all was said and done, Mommy and daddy, slept in different bedrooms...

Brenda walked up the street, and as usual, Adriano was watching and waiting. She was meeting him for dinner.

Brenda wore a chic pants suit, with a white tank underneath. The jacket went in at the waist, and her pants had a sexy fit. Since she was only eight weeks pregnant, she could still fit into most of her clothes.

She walked up to him, and smiled. "Hello."

Adriano smiled, and reached for her hand. "Hello sunshine." He kissed her on the cheek. He then opened the door for her, and they went in. Their table was already waiting for them. He pulled out her seat, and she sat down.

He sat down across from her. "You look beautiful."

She smiled. "Thanks, and you look like you stepped off the pages of GQ." And he did. He looked gorgeous. He had on a dark gray suit, even darker shoes, and he wore a white shirt underneath.

"What would you like to drink?"

"Water is fine." He signaled, and the waiter came over. Her ordered her a water, and some cranberry juice for himself. The waiter nodded and left.

"Adriano, if you want to drink, drink!"

"No, if you can't drink, I won't drink. At least not in front of you."

She laughed. "How have you been?"

"Missing you."

"You are huge flirt."

"When I see something I like, I can't help myself."

The waiter returned, and deposited their drinks on the table. He took their orders, and left.

Brenda knew she needed to tell him, that Jax was living with her. Yes, they were casual, but he still needed to know. "Adriano, there is something I need to tell you…..."

"Ok. What's up?"

"Jax is living with me."

Adriano had a blank look on his face. "Who?"

"Jax, Lola's father, this unborn child's father."

The smile left his face. "Wait, the same person fathered both children?"

"Yes."

"Wow, and he's living with you?"

"Yes, we just thought it would be better if he did. Because I'm going to need the help, especially when the baby comes."

"And how many weeks are you?"

"Eight."

"So, what is he helping you with now?"

"I'm really emotional, and overwhelmed. It's just good knowing someone is there."

The waiter came out, with food in hand. After leaving, the conversation resumed.

Adriano had really lost his appetite. He liked Brenda. She was gorgeous, smart, and had a beautiful personality. But….this was not going to work out, not even in the casual sense. "Brenda, this is just too weird for me. I can accept the kids, but not the man. I adore you, but maybe we should just be friends."

Brenda smiled. "What….a knocked up woman, who already as a child, AND is living with the man, that planted both seeds... doesn't appeal to you? I just simply don't understand why."

He laughed. "I still want to see your beautiful face, even if it is just as friends."

"I would love that, you are tons of fun. Don't disappear."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Brenda reached over, and touched his face. "I love this beard, it's so sexy."

"Brenda, don't...stop being a pregnant tease."

She laughed. And despite it all, they ended up having a nice dinner...

Jax was at home sitting in the living room, when she returned. She knew he was waiting up for her. He was trying to pretend, like he was watching TV.

She walked in and sat down next to him, kicking off her shoes.

He didn't waste any time asking. "Did you have fun?"

"It was a nice dinner. The food was delicious, so was the conversation. And we...decided that we shouldn't see each other anymore. Not in the romantic sense. Actually, it was more him than me."

"Are you upset?"

"No, because I tried to break things off, when I told him I was pregnant."

"So, what he had time to think about it, and decided that it wouldn't work?"

"No, I told him, you were living with me."

"Ooooh….I guess he didn't like that."

"Nope, not even if he and I were just casual, that was just too much for him."

"I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"It's for the best. It's not like we were in a serious relationship. And I have enough on my plate."

Brenda looked over at Jax, who was shirtless, as he often was. "Jax?"

He was looking at the TV. "Hmmm?"

"I was thinking, since you are unattached, and I don't have male companionship...we could….."

Jax turned off the TV, and turned to her. "What….get back together?"

"No..."

"What?"

"We could be…..co parents with benefits."

Jax grinned. "What?"

Brenda frowned. "I'm horny Jax."

He laughed.

Brenda continued. "I would have never slept….with Adriano anyway, because that's disgusting. Not that I think he's disgusting, it's just the whole being pregnant with another man's child."

"So, since, I'm the child's father it's ok to sleep with me?"

"Yes. And it's not like I can get pregnant. And it's not like we haven't done it before."

Jax stared at her for a moment. He could not believe she just asked him that. "Brenda, my non wife just left me, and you want me to just jump in bed with you?"

"I'm really sorry about that Jax, and you know it. But we can't change what happened."

"Brenda, there are still a lot of reasons why we shouldn't sleep together."

Brenda stood up. "You know what Jax, never mind, I don't feel like listening to one of your lectures. You didn't want to listen to your mother's lectures, and I don't want to listen to yours. I offered you perfectly good vagina, and you declined, or whatever that was. Just forget I asked." She walked off, and headed to her bedroom.

Jax's eye's followed her. "Perfectly good vagina?" He burst into laughter…..

Brenda went into her room, and closed the door. She took off her jacket, and threw it on a chair. She took off her shirt, and headed into the bathroom.

After washing her face, she took off her pants, and walked out into her bedroom.

Her eyes widen. She threw her pants down, and jumped on the bed running across. She leaped in Jax's arms.

"Brenda, don't do that."

"Don't talk, do not say a word. I'm just happy you came." She kissed him, sliding her tongue into his mouth.

Jax pulled away. "Slow down."

He walked over to the bed, and placed her on it.

"Jax, we don't have to make this romantic, we can get right to it."

"Be quiet, Brenda."

She was already in her underwear. It was a black lace panty set. He ran his hand down her body. He then pulled one of her legs up, and started kissing it, making his way up its length. He kissed her calves, thighs, inner thighs, then blew lightly on her. She closed her eyes, as she felt the coolness of his breath. He moved up, and started kissing her stomach. Her bra had a front clasp, he reached up and undid it. His hands immediately start caressing her. Jax trailed kisses up her body, and took one into his mouth. As he flicked his tongue across, he felt it stiffen. He moved over to the other one, given it the same attention as its twin. He reached down, and pulled her panties down her thighs, she helped, by kicking them off. Brenda's breathing deepened, and her back arched, when she felt his finger enter her love. He watched as she moaned and squirmed. She bit her lip, locked her thighs, holding his hand hostage, and climaxed. He leaned down and kissed her deeply. Then stood up, and quickly removed his bottoms. He returned to the bed, moving over her. She reached up, and touched his chest. He grabbed her hand, and kissed her palm. Their eyes lock, he positioned himself, and inch by inch slowly entered her...

It's the next morning, and Brenda is just waking up. Jax had his arms wrapped around her. She looked up into his face, he was sound asleep. She ran her fingers through his hair.

She loved his little buzz cut. He moved, then stretched, looking down at her. "Hello."

She smiled. "Hello."

Jax sat up, and looked at the clock on her nightstand. "I guess I should head to my room. I need to shower." He yawned and stretched. "I have a lot to do today."

"Will you have enough room, in the guest room….to conduct business?"

"Yeah, for now its fine. It's huge, I don't feel cramped or anything."

"You could use my office, I'm never in it."

"Ok, and I forgot to tell you, I have to go to France in the morning."

"How long?"

"Just a day." Jax got out of bed, threw on his boxers and shorts. "I'll try to be back, before nightfall." He looked down at her. "Do we kiss, or don't we? I've never been in a…" He grinned. "…co parents, with benefits relationship."

She grinned. "Only...if you want to."

He leaned down, and kissed her cheek. She was disappointed, but then he leaned in again, and kissed her lips. She smiled. "Thanks for last night."

"It was my pleasure." He turned and left...

**Part 3**

It was Sunday, so Lola didn't have to go to school, but they still couldn't sleep in, because they were going to church. Brenda got up, showered, cooked breakfast, and got Lola up. After bathing her, they all sat down, and ate breakfast together.

Brenda buttered Lola's toast, and placed it on her plate. "You know...Jax, you could come to church with us?"

"No, I have a lot of work to do. I'll be here when you get back. Maybe we can go to the park, or something?"

Lola smiled. "I think we should go now, I don't really like church."

Brenda grinned. "No church, no park."

Lola sighed.

Brenda pushed her juice towards her. "Drink your juice, we have to get ready to leave."

Jax pinched her cheek. "You'll survive."

Lola looked up at him. "You should come too."

"No, Sweetheart I can't. I have some work, that I just have to get done."

"You just don't like church either."

Jax laughed.

They finished eating, and Jax cleaned up the kitchen, while they changed into their church attire. Brenda settled on a dress, with a little room in the mid section. She was not showing, but her pencil skirts were out. They were just too tight. She could still fit into them, but she didn't want to wear them anymore, or anything that would was too tight on her stomach. She wore a dress, that was fitted on the top, and more relaxed on the bottom. Lola wore a navy blue pleated skirt and a beautiful white blouse.

Jax was sitting in the living room, working on his laptop, when they came out.

"We are leaving."

Jax looked up. "Ok. And you both look really nice."

"Thanks."

Lola was really pouting now. "Papa Jax, please let me stay with you."

Jax placed his laptop on the table, and stood up. He walked over to her. "You have to go to church. You'll be fine, and you get to show everybody, how pretty you look."

Brenda chimed in. "And Mona will be there. She is bringing her granddaughter, Kata with her. She's in town."

Lola's eyes got big. "Kata is coming?"

Brenda nodded.

"Ok, well….I think I will go to church."

Brenda grinned and looked at Jax. "As if she had a choice."

Jax shrugged. He leaned down and kissed Lola on the forehead, and without thinking, he kissed Brenda on the lips. Brenda's eyes widen. She looked down at Lola, who was not paying attention, thank God. She looked up at Jax, chastising him with her eyes.

Jax mouthed the word. "Sorry."

Brenda shook her head, and grabbed her purse. Her and Lola said their goodbyes, and left...

Church was great, and Lola survived, thanks to Kata. After returning home, and changing, Jax decided to take a break from his work, in favor of spending time with Lola and Brenda. They went to the park, and had lunch at Lola's favorite restaurant. They did a little shopping. Well, Brenda did some shopping, because she needed some more clothes. She didn't buy a lot of things, because Lola and Jax were getting restless. She decided to just contact her friend, who was a personal shopper, and ask her to pull some things for her. She would have to tell her she was pregnant, but people were going to find out anyway, so that wasn't a big deal.

Later that evening, that went over to Mona's. Mona had a lot of family in town, so she invited them over to her house, because she was having a family dinner. Jax went along with them. Mona had a large extended family, and when they had family gatherings, they were loud and boisterous. But they were so welcoming.

Jax was talking to some of the men, and Lola was playing with the children. Brenda was in the kitchen with Mona, who was cooking.

Mona was chopping vegetables, as Brenda looked on. "It seems you and Jax, are getting along well."

"Yes….we are."

"I was shocked to learn he was living with you. But I guess….I shouldn't have been. He adores Lola, and I can understand him wanting to be close to her."

Brenda was not about to lie to Mona. "Mona, I need to tell you something."

Mona stopped chopping. "Ok?"

"I'm pregnant."

She took a deep breath, and slowly let it out. "Jax?"

"Yes."

"Are you two getting back together?"

"No, we are just going to co parent, just like we are doing with Lola."

Mona sighed. "Maybe you two should marry, I mean you are about to have two children."

"Mona, that's not a reason to get married."

"I know, but you love him, and he loves you. I can tell. But you two are still stuck in the past. You need to let it go. I'm sure you made mistakes, and he made mistakes. One of you…..is going to have to speak up, before it's too late."

Brenda didn't want this baby, to be the reason they got back together. And she didn't even know how Jax felt about her..

One of Mona's family members walked in, and the conversation ended. Brenda left the kitchen, and joined the rest of the family. After awhile, they ate, and eventually left.

It was around seven when they made it home. Lola had school the next day, so she bathed and went to sleep. Brenda decided, to work on some things for ASEC. Jax went into his room, to finish up the things, he was working on earlier.

After catching up on her ASEC work, Brenda started going through her countless emails. She had been so preoccupied with her new pregnancy, she let everything else, fall by the waist side.

It turns out, she had quite a few emails from her agent. Brenda knew she had to let her know, she was pregnant. It shouldn't be a problem, since her face is what booked her jobs, more than her body. Given that she was short. She would stop by her office tomorrow.

She opened her last email from ASEC. They were having karaoke night, for all the representatives. It was going to be held at a bar in the city. She looked at the date, it was on Wednesday night. She'd have to get Mona to watch Lola. ASEC was always having things like that, because it created a since of family. And a lot of the representatives that worked for ASEC, never had real ones, Brenda included. She would have to tell Jax, but knowing Mr. Organized, he probably already new. She wondered if he'd actually go. Jax and karaoke? She laughed, logged off, and closed her laptop.

After showering, and towel drying her hair, she climbed in bed, and grabbed the book she'd been meaning to read. She read a couple of chapters, and wondered what Jax was doing. At that moment she heard a knock at her door.

"Come in."

Jax opened the door. "You're still up?"

"Yes, I just finished going through all my emails."

"Would you like some company?"

She smiled. "Sure co parent."

He closed the door, and climbed in bed with her. "What are you reading?"

"A romance novel."

"Oh."

"Are you disappointed, because I'm not reading today's business, or something boring like that?"

He grinned, and Brenda started back reading. Jax slid his hand up under the covers, and up under her shirt. He rubbed her stomach, as she continued reading. He moved up to her breasts.

She smiled. "You are really getting into this….co parenting with benefits thing."

"Yep."

His hand left her breasts. He grabbed her book, folded the page, and placed it on the nightstand. He then removed her glasses, and they joined the book. He leaned over and kissed her passionately. His tongue entered her mouth, and they started the sweetest of duals.

Jax pulled her on top of him, then reached down, and pulled her night shirt over her head. And to his delight, she was completely naked underneath. He quickly sat up, and took her buds into his mouth, hungrily kissing them. She raised her hips, and started pulling at his boxers. Jax's mouth left her briefly, and he helped her remove them. She pushed him back onto the bed, and moved down his torso. He let out a deep moan, as she took him in her mouth. After driving him insane with her oral skills, he pulled her back up, and kissed her deeply. She felt his manhood pressed against her derriere. He reached around, and positioned himself at her opening, and with one shift of the hips, he disappeared into her.

Brenda buried her lips into his neck. "Mmmm...oooh, Jax."

His hips continued to grind up into her. She sat up, and joined in his rhythm….

Jax kissed her forehead, cheeks, neck, then lips.

"Jax, you should go to sleep. You have a busy day tomorrow, and you have to get up early."

"I'll sleep on the plane."

"Well, 'I' have a busy day tomorrow."

He smiled. "Ok. I'll leave you alone." He moved away from her.

She turned on her side, facing him. He leaned over and kissed her nose. "Are you ok?"

She nodded. (Say the words Brenda, tell him you love him.). "Nite Jax."

"Nite Brenda."

She turned in the opposite direction. Jax stared at the back of her head. He moved closer, pressing his body against hers. He kissed her on the neck, and they both went to sleep….

When Brenda woke up, Jax was gone. She got out of bed, and pulled on her robe. She glanced at the clock. It was still quite early. She walked out of her room, and knocked on his door, a couple of seconds later he opened it.

"Brenda, you don't have to knock, just come in."

"You knock on my door." She followed him in.

"That's different, you are a female."

She watched as he threw his laptop in its carrier, and zipped it up. He had a garment bag, and another small bag.

"You didn't say it was an overnight trip."

"It's not, but you never know." He looked up at her. "What? Are you going to miss me?"

"Yes, especially Jax after dark."

He laughed. "I'll try to be back, before you close those beautiful eyes. I wanted to say goodbye to Lola, but I don't want to wake her, especially since she has school. Kiss her for me."

Brenda nodded.

They head out of his room. She followed him to the door. Before opening it, he turned, placed his bags on the table by the door, and kissed her.

Brenda was not expecting that.

"I was due a morning after kiss, so I decided to collect." He picked up his things. "See you later."

She nodded. "Bye Jax." He opened the door then left...

The rest of the day was a blur, Brenda got Lola ready for school, and dropped her off. She went to her agent's office, and explained her situation. Her agent thought it shouldn't matter, because her face was the most important thing, which was not a surprise. Her friend, the personal shopper, managed to squeeze her in, and instead of letting her just pull a bunch of stuff, they went together. By the time they finished, it was time to pick Lola up.

Lola had a violin lesson that afternoon, so Mickal went along with them, as company for Brenda.

Mickal leaned back in the chair, and turn sideways, facing Brenda. "I cannot believe, Jax is living with you?"

"He thought I needed the help, and the companionship."

Mickal smiled. "I bet he did. But I'm happy. At least he got rid of that, Russian ice skating slut."

Brenda laughed. "She is not a ice skater."

"Yes she is, that or a gymnast. Those Russian women, either know how to skate or flip. That's why men love them. They are flexible."

Brenda grinned. "Stop it. I feel sorry for Sasha, she didn't ask for any of this. I think she really cared for Jax."

"She's pretty, she'll find someone else. Now, are you and Jax sharing a room, or is he really just co parenting, as you like to call it?"

"Yeah...we...are...just co-parenting."

Mickal looked at her for a moment, staring directly in her eyes. Brenda looked away. "Yeah right! He is watering that seed he planted, I can tell!" Mickal threw his hand over his mouth, and started laughing. "I knew it."

Brenda just smiled.

The smile left Mickal's face. "Are you two getting back together?"

"No, we are just friends with benefits."

"Brenda, I don't really have a problem with that, but you love Jax, and please don't lie and say that you don't, because I know you do. Having a friend with benefits is fun. But it's no fun if you're in love with the person, you are supposed to be having a casual relationship with. There is nothing casual about you, and the father of your children. And I think he loves you too."

Brenda opened up her bottled water, and drunk some. "I still love Jax, I do. I think he still cares for me, but I'm not sure if he would want to try again. We've tried a lot of times. At some point, you have to stop, and just accept defeat."

"I disagree. Brenda, is there anybody on this earth you'd rather be with?"

Brenda shook her head. "No….no one. In spite of everything, I still want him. And no one has ever loved me better."

"So, what are going to do about it?"

"I don't know."

"Tell him. What's the worse thing that could happen?"

"He'll say, no, and give me a lecture on why we should never be together."

"He doesn't mind sleeping with you?"

"He's a man it's just sex. You know he didn't even remember ,when he fell in love with Sasha? He said it was because he was a man, he didn't remember things like that."

"Brenda, you are clueless. He doesn't remember, because he doesn't love her. Ask him when he fell in love with you?"

Brenda looked up, and saw Lola walking towards them. She grabbed Lola's violin case. "Did you have a good lesson?"

Lola nodded.

Mickal grabbed her hand. "Let's go and get some ice cream."

Lola's eyes widen. "Ooooh, let's go."

Brenda laughed. "You are speaking her language."

They all head out of the door...

Brenda and Lola ate dinner, then Brenda helped Lola with her homework. They watched a little TV, and Lola bathed and went to bed. School days were the worst. There were never enough hours in the day.

She showered, and looked at the time. She hadn't heard from Jax all day. Maybe he decided to stay overnight. She got into bed, and picked up the book she was trying to read, the night before. She read a chapter, then gave up. She turned out her light, and went to sleep.

Jax unlocked the door, and entered the apt. He looked in on Lola, then walked to his room. He stopped short of the door, and looked into Brenda's room. Her door was open, and she was sleeping. He continued on into his room, removed his clothes, and took a quick shower. He threw on some boxers, and headed to Brenda's room. He slid in next to her. He softly kissed her, and was extra careful not to wake her. She moved a little, and snuggled up against him. Jax was extremely tired, he yawned and within a couple of minutes he was sleep.

It's the middle of the night, Brenda stretched and felt someone beside her.  
She smiled, and looked at him. She leaned over and pressed her lips against his.

He moved, and his eyes open. "Hey."

"Hey. What time did you get back?"

"About ten."

"I'm happy you're back."

"Me too."

She rested her head on his chest, listening to the beating of his heart. He threw his arms around her, kissed the top of her head and went back to sleep. She soon followed...…...

When Brenda woke up, Jax was still sleeping. He looked so tired, she didn't want to wake him, so she decided to just let him sleep. She went into the bathroom, took a shower, and threw on some sweats. She made sure she closed her bedroom door, and headed to Lola's room…

Brenda returned from taking Lola to school, and walked towards her bedroom. She opened the door, and saw that Jax was gone. She turned and walked to his room. She went in, and heard the shower. She closed the door, and made her way to the kitchen. She decided to make them breakfast.

She put on a pot of coffee, and made a huge omelet. She cut the omelet in half, and scooped one half up, placing it on her plate. She poured herself a glass of juice, sat down at the table, and was taking her first bite ,when Jax walked in.

He walked in looking incredibly sexy. His hair was still wet from the shower, and as usual he was shirtless.

Jax smiled. "Morning."

"Hello, I made breakfast."

"Thanks." Jax poured himself a cup of coffee, grabbed the plate, a fork, and sat down next to her.

"How was your trip?"

"Long. At least it felt like it was. I was in meetings all day."

"Meetings about what?"

"I'm thinking about investing in a new company, not sure yet."

"Oh." Brenda watched as he inhaled the omelet, and sipped his coffee.

Jax caught her looking at him. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Are you ok?"

She nodded.

"Lola?"

"She's fine." *silence* "Jax, may I ask you a random question?"

"Yeah."

"Don't read too much into it….ok? I'm just curious."

"Ok, what?"

"When did you fall in love with me? The first time."

Jax chuckled a little. "Why are you asking me that?"

Brenda sighed. "Just answer the question, or are you just killing time, because you can't remember?"

Jax was about to respond, when his cell phone rung. He grabbed it, and looked down at the number. "This is one of my business partners, I have to take this." He answered. "Stanley, yes...when did you send it?" Jax stood up. "Give me minute to pull it up." He walked passed Brenda, her eyes followed him out of the kitchen. She dropped her fork on her plate.

At that moment Jax stuck his head around the corner. "One minute Stanley." He muted the phone. He looked over at Brenda. "You said, something about hitting the jackpot, being an omen. The very first time I saw you. I'm not saying I was completely in love with you, but that's when the seed was planted. And then we started spending so much time together, and it grew. Didn't realize it, until you were involved in that hit and run. And that's when I knew, I loved you. Did that answer your question?"

She nodded, and then he was gone.

She smiled. "Yep, he loves me." And she picked up her fork, and finished her breakfast…

The rest of the day was a blur, just like the one before it. Jax was working all day. He was taking phone call after phone call. She had a meeting with Susan, around noon. By the time she finished, it was time to pick up Lola. Jax helped her with her homework, and they horse played for a bit. He ordered dinner, so Brenda didn't have to cook. After finishing dinner, Lola bathed, and went to sleep.

Brenda walked into the living room, and spotted Jax on the couch. "Lola is out. I think you wore her out."

Jax grinned. "I think she wore me out."

Brenda rolled her eyes, and sat down beside him. "You are one of the fittest people I know. There is no way she could wear you out."

Jax's cell phone rung. He apologized, reached over, and grabbed it. He didn't bother looking at the number. He answered. "Jax."

"Hello...Jax."

"Sasha?"

Brenda stopped what she was doing, and looked at him.

"Yes, are you able to talk?"

"Sure." Jax stood up, and walked out of the room...

Brenda didn't know what to make of that. She sat there for a minute. For some reason, she felt uneasy. She got up, and walked to her bedroom. She needed to do something, so she filled the tub up, and got in. She leaned back, and closed her eyes. She wondered what Jax, and Sasha were talking about.

"I was wondering where you went off to."

Brenda opened her eyes. "That was quick, and what did Sasha want?"

"I don't know. She just said we needed to talk, and we do. Things ended badly. She wants to meet."

"Did you agree to it?"

"Yes."

Brenda looked down, and into the water. "Oh, when...are you meeting?"

"Tomorrow, for lunch."

She looked back up at him. "What if she wants to work things out?"

"I doubt that."

She stared into his blue eyes. "It's possible Jax."

"I don't think so Brenda. She was livid the other night. And forget about that, would you like some co-parenting tonight?"

Brenda laughed. "Are you offering?"

Jax smiled, and started undressing. A couple of minutes later, he was sitting opposite her.

Her Jacuzzi style tub was huge. And it fitted both of them comfortably. He started massaging her feet.

"Jax, what if…..she wants to work it out?"

"Brenda, I don't want to talk about that."

He moved to the middle of the tub, pulling her legs, coaxing her to come closer.

They are in the middle of the tub, and her legs are wrapped around his waist. Jax started kissing her neck. "I never knew co-parenting could be so much fun." Jax's hand disappeared underwater.

She giggled, then moaned, and Jax went to work...

**Part 4**

It's the next morning, and Jax and Lola have just left. Jax had an early morning meeting, and he dropped Lola off on the way. He told Brenda, that he'd be meeting Sasha, after he finished, then he had some other business to take care of. He didn't know if he would make it to the karaoke function, but he would try. After they left, Brenda showered, and got dressed, because she was meeting Mickal for breakfast.

Brenda was on her way to meet Mickal, when her phone rung. She was driving, so she just pressed the button, and answered. "Hello."

"Brenda?"

"Yes."

"Hi, this is Sasha, I was calling, because I wanted to know, if it there is anyway possible, we could meet? If you are free that is."

"Now?"

"Yes, it won't take long, I promise."

"Aaah...I'm actually on my way to meet a friend."

"I could meet you. Please, it's important."

Brenda felt guilty for sleeping with Jax in Orlando, so she agreed. "Ok." Brenda told her where she was going to be, then disconnected the call. "That's weird, what does she want to talk to me about?"

Brenda walked into the cafe. Her phone rung, it was Mickal. He said he was running late. She sighed. "Great." She ordered a glass of juice, and waited, hoping Mickal would show up first. About ten minutes later, she spotted Sasha, walking towards her. And she was dressed impeccably. She had on her power suit, with not a blonde hair out of place.

"Hello, Brenda."

"Sasha. Would you like something to drink?"

She shook her head, and sat down. "No, this won't take long." And Sasha didn't waste anytime, getting straight to the point. "You and Jax, it only happened once, in Orlando?"

"Yes. And I apologize, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"People never do in situations like these."

Brenda was about to respond, but she decided to just let her say, what she felt she needed to, so she could leave.

Sasha continued. "I was really upset, and I still am. I take my relationships, and everything else in my life seriously. And I expect the same out of my partner."

"As you should."

"I love Jax. And I didn't think I could accept this new child, but after thinking long and hard, I believe he made an honest mistake. Jax is a good man, and I know it. I don't want things to be over, because of one stupid mistake."

She was starting to get on Brenda's nerves. (Stupid mistake? Really?) But deep down, Brenda knew she had a right to be mad. "But why-"

Sasha interrupted. "Why did I insist on meeting with you?"

"Yes."

"I'll get right to it. Are you in love with Jax?"

Brenda didn't know what to say, she didn't want to hurt her again. So she didn't lie, but she didn't tell the truth either. "I'll always have love for Jax, but we...are over."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"He doesn't know this, but I want us to try and work things out."

"I figured that. But…..Are you sure? I mean after everything?"

"Yes, after everything. I did not think, that would happen in a million years. I wanted to kill him, when he first told me, he impregnated you. And I hated you, not as much as him, but I did nevertheless. But he was my partner, not you. I'm still not over it completely, but I love Jasper. And he wanted to work everything out, but I told him no. But I've changed my mind. There will be no marriage, not right now. But who knows, maybe once we've repaired our relationship…..we can file that intent again."

Mickal walked up. "Hello Brenda."

Brenda looked up at him. (Thank God!) "Mickal...hi."

His eyes fell on Sasha, but he didn't say hello. She knew Mickal hated her. He never tried to hide it.

Sasha stood up, and looked down at Brenda. "Thanks for meeting with me."

"No problem."

Sasha grabbed her purse and left. Mickal's eyes followed her, then he sat down. "What was she doing here?"

"She wants Jax back?"

His eyes widen. "And what did you say?"

"Nothing, really. She asked me if I still loved him?"

"What did you say?"

"I still care for him, but we are over."

Mickal shook his head, and leaned back in his seat. "Why didn't you tell her the truth? What if he goes back to her?"

"I don't know."

"Oh my God Brenda. If you love Jax, tell him. You have Lola, and another child on the way. Give them the family they deserve. Stop worrying about the past, and who did what. Get back together, and get a daman therapist! Do whatever it is, you have to do."

"It's not that easy Mickal."

"Yes it is. You have the most important thing, which is love. The rest will work itself out."

Brenda didn't know what she should do. Should she tell him? And what if he rejected her? And what if Jax wanted to get back with Sasha? She didn't want ruin that for him. So many things were running through her head...

It's later on that night, and Brenda is at the karaoke event. People were drinking, and really getting into the songs. Brenda still hadn't heard from Jax. She wondered how his lunch, with Sasha went. It was all she could think about. Mickal walked up, and handed her a diet drink.

"Thanks."

"Where is Jax?"

"I don't know, he said he would try and make it."

"Do you think he's coming alone?"

Brenda shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well, at least you look pretty."

Brenda smiled. "Thanks." She had on a fushia baby doll tank, some black skinny jeans, that were specifically made for her expanding stomach, and some black heels. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail. Her only accessories, were diamond earrings.

Mickal pulled her by the arm. "Let's go join in the festivities, and get your mind off of Jax!" And they made their way over to the karaoke machine...

Jax had a long day, he decided to stop by the apt, to shower and change. He found Lola there with Mona. They were playing board games. After getting dressed, he kissed Lola, and he headed to the ASEC event.

While driving to the event, Jax started thinking about the conversation, he had earlier with Sasha. Things didn't go as he expected they would. He did not think Sasha wanted him back, but she did. She said that marriage, was not an option right now, but she was willing to give the relationship another try. But only if he really loved her. She wanted and desperately needed to hear those words. Jax couldn't lie to her, he didn't love her, not like she deserved. She didn't get upset, she just cried a little. She asked him, if he loved Brenda. He said, yes. Sasha asked if he thought Brenda could really make him happy? He replied, I'm happy when I'm with her, and miserable when I'm not.

Jax felt bad that he hurt her, but he had to tell the truth. If she would have stayed that first night, she found out, he would have made an honest attempt. But she didn't. He didn't blame her for leaving. But the craziest thing happened. The day after she left, he met Brenda and Lola, at their place. When they walked in, he knew, he had to be with them. So, he talked Brenda into letting him move in. And then out of the blue, Brenda wanted them to start being intimate again. He wanted to say, yes as soon as she suggested it, but he decided to pretend as if he was not sure.

The only thing that was left, was convincing Brenda, that they belonged together. He decided, that he would be honest…..with her…..that night...

Jax drove up to the ASEC function, got out of his car, and headed in.

Brenda was chatting it up, with a couple of people when Jax walked in. She tried to read him, but nothing. She excused herself, and walked over to him. He was getting a drink.

"Hello."

He turned. "Brenda...Hi."

"I haven't heard from you all day, wasn't sure if you were coming."

"I was coming. I wouldn't miss the chance, at seeing Susan doing karaoke."

Brenda laughed. "Too late, she was up there singing, Hit Me Baby One More Time."

He laughed. "I hate I missed it."

"So, what happened with Sasha? If….you don't mind….discussing it."

Jax took a sip of his drink. "You were right, she wanted to work things out."

"You're a good man Jax, of course she would."

"Brenda...I need to tell something."

She looked up into his eyes. "O-"

Susan walked up. "Jax! You made it! Come on, I want you to sing with me!"

Jax looked horrified. "Ok, I guess." He looked at Brenda. "Later." And Susan pulled him away.

Mickal walked up. "Susan is toast. She is drunker than a skunk. Do skunks even drink? Where exactly, did that expression originate?" Apparently Brenda didn't hear him, because she didn't respond. He looked over at her, and she looked like she was miles away. He bumped her. She looked at him. "What's wrong? Because you haven't heard a word I've said. Did Jax say something?"

"He's moving out, and getting back with Sasha."

The smile left his face. "How do you know that?"

"Because he told me, she wanted him back, and he needed to talk to me."

"But that doesn't mean anything."

"Yes it does. What else could it possibly be?"

"Maybe he wants you back?"

"I don't know about that. But if he's going to leave, he's going to leave knowing the truth."

Mickal eyes widen. "Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know if I can. Maybe I'll write him a note, or send him a text?" She bit her lip. "But I shouldn't send him a text, because that's how I told him I was pregnant."

Mickal started giggling. "You told the man, you were pregnant through a text?"

"Be quiet Mickal."

He was still laughing. He looked up at the people doing karaoke. "Maybe you should sing it?"

Brenda's eyes widen. "Mickal! Good idea!"

"What? I was just kidding."

She looked up into eyes. "I don't have to sing it per say, I'll pick a song that means something to the both of us. And I won't have to say anything, he'll get it. I'm about to do a little karaoke."

Mickal's eyes widen. "Like, My Best Friend's Wedding?"

"What?"

"You know the movie? See Cameron Diaz's character, sings karaoke to her husband to be, and-"

Brenda interrupted. "I don't have all night. By the time you finish that story, he'll be marrying Sasha, for real this time."

Mickal sighed. "Just go over there and tell him."

"I might chicken out. Just come on." They made their way up to the front. Brenda found the song, and waited for her turn...

By the time they handed her the Mic, the majority of the room was wasted. People were dancing to every song, as well as singing along. It was weird seeing all these serious people let loose. Brenda looked around. (Somebody should be taping this.)

The music started. Brenda felt like she was about to pass out. Not because she was scared to sing. But Jax would the get message, as soon as he heard the song. The words pop up on the monitor, she couldn't turn back now…

Jax was talking to Susan, and some other representative, they were all laughing and joking around. Susan turned. "Look, Brenda is about to try her hand, at the karaoke machine."

Jax turned…

Brenda started the song. "I'm so glad, you made time to see me, how's life…tell me how's your family? I haven't seen them in awhile."

Once Brenda started to sing, quite a few people joined in, and started singing with her.

Jax grinned as he watched her sing. The smile left, once he realized it was the song, from the charity concert.

Her eyes search for him, as she continued. "Because the last time you saw me…it still burned in the back of your mind…you gave me roses and I left them there to die."

Almost every woman in the room was singing along. "..so this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying, I'm sorry for that night, And I go back to December all the time…."

Brenda continued to look for Jax, and then she saw him walking towards her. She didn't see anybody but him, as she continued singing. "…Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you…wishing I'd realized what I had, when you were mine. I'd go back to December turn around, and make it all right. I go back to December all the time….."

Brenda stopped singing. Her eyes filled with tears. She forgot about the mic, as she stared into his eyes. "I realize we've had our share of problems. I know I've made a lot of mistakes, and so have you. And I know we both said, too much has happened, and we can't be together. And it's not good for Lola. But I don't believe that anymore. Jax, no one has ever loved me better than you. You never put anything before me, but I put a lot before you. And I took your love for granted. I'm sorry. You are my white knight, you've always been. I know there were times, when you tried to get me to ride off in the sunset with you. But I was stupid, and I never got on. Jax I'll go wherever you want me too. My heart belongs to you, and with you. I don't want you to move out. I want you with us, your family. Now if you love Sasha, and she makes you happy, then I'll have to learn to live with that. But I just wanted you to know, that I still love you, so very much. I never stopped. And if I could go back, and undue all my stupid mistakes I would."

Jax walked up to her, and caressed her cheek. Neither Jax nor Brenda was aware that she was holding the mic, and everybody could hear. They were just standing there looking at each other.

"Who said I was moving out?"

"You said…you needed to talk to me."

"Yes, but you beat me to the punch. Yes, Sasha wanted to get back together, but I don't love her. I love you, I've always loved you. No one has ever come close. And you're right, we've made a lot of mistakes. I still think we have to work through them. Therapy maybe?"

Brenda stared into his blue eyes. "Yes, whatever it takes."

"And once we've worked through everything, I am determined…" He grabbed her left hand. "…to put a ring on this hand. I love you, and I've always known I was meant to marry you, that's why I kept trying." They laugh. "There were times, when I wanted to give up. And there were times, when I tried to move on. But I asked God for a sign, and he gave it to me." He touched her stomach. "You belong with me, and I belong with you. And Nobody is leaving this time." He leaned down and kissed her, she realized she was holding the mic. She dropped it, and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Mickal covered his mouth, as tears filled his eyes. Susan wiped her tears away. Brenda and Jax, still had no idea, they had turned into that night's entertainment. He broke the kiss, and hugged her tightly. Brenda looked up, and saw a lot of eyes looking back at her. "Jax, we have an audience."

"What?"

"I forgot the mic was on."

He turned around, and smiled. "Show's over." He looked at Brenda. "Do you have a purse or something."

She shook her head. "I put it in the trunk."

"Let's go home."

She smiled. "Ok. Jax, are you going to put me down?"

"I haven't decided."

She giggled, and they walk through the crowd, heading out of the door…

Michal wiped his tears. "It's like My Best Friend's Wedding, and An Officer and a Gentlemen, all rolled into one." Susan laughed…...

Approximately seven and half months later, Brenda gave birth to a son, with Jax by her side. They named him Joshua Mickal Jax. And after many hours of therapy, and a year after their son was born, Jax and Brenda were married. They got married in a church, in Rome, amongst family and friends. No dead wives showed up, and no one kissed the bride but the groom. Brenda finally got on that horse, with her white knight, and never looked back…

**The End**

***Back to December-Lyrics by Taylor Swift***


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